Music is best live. So it really sucks when the couple hundred people around you act like its their first time being in public in their entire lives. 

We’ve all had a concert experience ruined by someone (or several people) who have zero concept of basic human decency. And we’re not being curmudgeonly out of love for the game of hating. Concert etiquette is an international conversation. 

This summer, an English TikTokker sparked public outrage after she used a handheld ring light to film content at an Ariana Grande concert. Filming at a concert is already contentious (more on that later), but bringing your own spotlight takes it to a new level. The influencer made a response video, claiming “Karens” were ruining her fun. Well, change our birth year to 1972, we guess. 

But there are many other egregious etiquette sins happening at concerts on the daily. So here’s your guide to behaving like a civilized human being at a concert: 

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Leave your grumpy boyfriend at home 

Listen, we know you don’t want to go to concerts alone. But sometimes, you have to sacrifice your comfort for the greater good. Do not drag your boyfriend to see the bedroom pop artist with pink hair. He would be happier at home, and we would be happier if he were there, too. Seriously, he is too tall, he is stiff and he is going out of his way to make sure everyone knows he’d rather be literally anywhere else. Not to mention, he’s preventing you from making new friends in the bar line, which is the birthplace of many beautiful friendships. 

Stream those two songs you like on YouTube instead

TikTok has done a lot of good, like giving small artists exposure they wouldn’t have otherwise gotten, reviving the careers of musicians beyond their peak and giving us 60-second tidbits that take months to release, only to be underwhelming. 

But with every action comes an equal and opposite reaction, and all too often today’s crowds are full of doomscrollers who know only two songs from an artist’s entire discography. Don’t come to record for roughly eight minutes of an hour-long set. Stay home and watch a few live performances on YouTube. Or do your research before the show. Listen to the whole album instead of 30 seconds of your favorite song from TikTok edits. 

Leave room for Jesus, but not his 12 apostles

Listen, we understand wanting to be close to your favorite artist. But pushing firmly against the people in front of you is not the way to do it. Not only are tightly packed crowds a safety risk, but truthfully, not enough people have learned about the benefits of regular deodorant use.

That said, there’s a balance. While large shows for major artists pack ‘em in like sardines, smaller shows for rising stars leave a painful no man’s land right in front of the stage. That’s no fun for the artists on stage, and we know it’s particularly awkward for the rest of us. So leave a little room if you must, but don’t overdo it. 

Hydrate, keep a soft bend in the knees and pack some snacks

Listen, we’re glad artists have taken it upon themselves to assist audience members who are struggling or have lost consciousness. That is important, a good refecltion of situational awareness and arguably part of their jobs. However, we as audience members also play a role in keeping shows safe. Drink water, don’t overdo the vodka sodas, and if you feel a little faint, find your quickest escape route before things get worse. 

If you’re planning on lining up outside the venue before the show, pack yourself a little lunch. And by the time you score your deserved barricade spot, try to keep blood circulation good to avoid passing out. 

Oh, and because artists have been paying much closer attention in recent years, some concertgoers have reportedly adopted a tactic to feign distress in hopes of being noticed directly by their faves. Don’t do that. It’s a waste of the medical team’s resources, and highly unlikely to land you anywhere but the backseat of an early Uber ride home. 

Travel in packs or not at all

There is nothing, and we mean absolutely nothing, worse than someone rudely pushing their way through a packed crowd because they have a supposed friend close to the stage. Respectfully, nobody cares if you’re separated from your friend for the show’s hour-long duration. And if you planned poorly and took a last-minute bathroom break, or re-upped on beer too close to the start time, then I hope you enjoy the view from the back of the crowd.

Don’t force the people behind you to watch through your tiny screen

Perhaps the most universally agreed-upon concert gripe is the overuse of phones. First, you’re ruining the view for everyone behind you. Second, you’re never rewatching any of those videos. Third, nobody watching your Instagram story cares that you went to a concert, and they’re skipping all those videos. Plus, a picture of the bill outside is much cooler than a poorly captured, shaky video. 

But we understand that it’s the digital age, and asking someone to keep their phone away for an entire show (though many artists are starting to do it) is like asking for it to rain in July. So we propose a new rule: You can film at a concert for a total of 4 minutes. This can comprise one entire song, 30 seconds of eight songs, or however else you see fit. 

The mosh pit isn’t your boxing ring

Moshing is fun. And it can be respectful, too. There’s nothing wrong with a controlled, contained mosh pit. But a mosh pit is not the place to gain real-life experience for your novice bare-knuckle boxing career. As punk music returns to the mainstream, mosh pits are opening at larger shows, and it’s important to remember that the best pits are the safest. 

As a few ground rules: don’t push anyone into the middle of the pit, stop the chaos if anyone has fallen and keep your fists to yourself. In 2024 Rubber Gloves Rehearsal Studios, a punk music haven in Denton, changed its moshing policy because of one guy who couldn’t follow the rules. Don’t be the one guy who ruins a good thing for everyone. 

Don’t honor convicted felons on stage 

We didn’t think we had to include this one, but here we are. If you happen to be a member of Congress, maybe don’t honor an artist convicted of felony assault. In case you missed it, U.S. Rep. Jasmine Crockett and state Rep. Venton Jones appeared on stage at the most recent Chris Brown concert in Arlington to honor the artist with a Congressional Record for his contributions to music. 

Predictably, people didn’t take it well. Jones soon appeared on “The Don Lemon Show” to publicly apologize to domestic abuse survivors. Crockett has not offered a formal public comment on the embroglio so far. In retaliation, Brown went on a rant on Instagram. 

“Funny thing is… Y’ALL CAME TO ME WITH THIS! NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND,” he wrote. “I was minding my damn business. My shows in Dallas were already sold out. I ain’t [want] to be honored because I knew some s[hi]t like this would happen.”

So in the future, maybe don’t award highly controversial figures with a history of violence.