Lubbock folks love to pretend we’re cool, composed, and absolutely not doing the most chaotic, unhinged, extremely West Texas things daily.

But c’mon, y’all. We know ourselves.

This city and its townies have a culture, a vibe, and an all-encompassing personality, whether we admit it or not. We all participate in it, and no matter how hard we try to pretend we are different, we’ve got a lot more in common than we realize…and not all of it is exactly good.

Here are the things every Lubbock local claims they don’t do… but definitely, 100%, without a doubt, absolutely do.

1. Acting Like the Wind Isn’t Ruining Our Lives

We say “Eh, it’s just a little breezy” while leaning forward at a 45-degree angle, trying not to be blown into oncoming traffic. We pretend we’re fine. We are not fine. Not at all. Neither are our shingles. They are hanging on for dear life.

Photo by Sander Weeteling on Unsplash2. Judging People Based on Which Side of Town They Live On

We swear we don’t do it, but the second someone says, “I live out by 82nd…” our brains go, “Ah. Wealthy. Must own a Roomba.” Someone says “North of the Loop”…and we suddenly start picturing crime documentaries. It’s the truth.

Photo by Tingey Injury Law Firm on Unsplash3. Running Into the Store Looking Like a Goblin

Every Lubbock resident has loudly declared, “I don’t go out in public unless I look decent!” and then proceeded to walk into United wearing pajama pants, sunglasses, and a vibe that says, “I hope no one from high school is here.” Spoiler alert: they are, and they already called their mom to tell her they saw you lookin’ ratchet.

Photo by Mason Horder on Unsplash4. Pretending We Don’t Live Off Convenience Store Snacks

“Oh no, I don’t eat gas station food.” Meanwhile, we have been personally victimized by midnight burritos that have lived under a heat lamp since 10 am. Facts.

Photo by No Revisions on Unsplash5. Acting Like We’re Not Rubbernecking Every Accident on the Loop

We swear we’re above it, but if traffic slows down, every single one of us suddenly becomes: “CSI: West Texas — Loop Edition.” Then, we’re all complaining about traffic like we’re in New York City during rush hour, and it ISN’T our fault. Ridiculous. If you’re late for work in Lubbock, it’s because you like to sleep, or because you couldn’t stop staring at 3 guys pushing a truck into the gas station parking lot. (You could have been helping, but you were busy stuffing an Arby’s Beef ‘n Cheddar in your face before anyone spotted you. We saw.)

Photo by Brands&People on Unsplash6. Saying ‘I Don’t Drink Sweet Tea Anymore’ While Drinking Sweet Tea

We lie. We lie so hard.

Photo by Crystal Tubens on Unsplash7. Pretending We Don’t HATE Driving on Broadway’s Brick Roads

“Oh, they aren’t that bad.” Yes, they are. I know. They are historic and pretty to look at, but they absolutely suck to drive over. Your shocks aren’t lying to you. They are screaming for mercy.

Photo by Joe Dudeck on Unsplash8. Acting Like We Don’t Care About the Weather Forecast

We pretend we’re not weather people, but if Ron Roberts blinks weird on TV, this entire town starts panic-buying water and toilet paper.

Photo by Muthia Lestari on Unsplash9. Saying “Let’s Not Make It a Big Thing” and Then Making It a Big Thing

Every get-together starts casually, then suddenly someone’s firing up the grill, cousins you haven’t seen in 12 years are showing up, and 6 crockpots materialize from thin air. The cops eventually show up, and if one of them isn’t your friend from high school, someone is probably going to jail for the 20-year-old drinking a Mike’s Hard Lemonade.

11. Claiming We Don’t Get Road Rage

Yes. We do. Especially behind someone going 17 mph on 34th Street. Just chill. You shouldn’t have taken that street anyway. You were asking for the scenic route.

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash

Photo by Vitaly Gariev on Unsplash12. Pretending We Don’t Complain About Lubbock

“Oh, I love it here!” Also us: “I’m moving to Austin the second I have enough money saved.” But we stay. We love it. It’s home. (We can’t afford Austin anyway. That’s the sad reality. We are stuck. Let’s make the most of it.)

Photo by Santiago Lacarta on UnsplashWe’re All The Same, And Love is Blind

We can deny it all we want, but Lubbock has a grip on us in the funniest, most chaotic, most lovable ways possible. These little habits, quirks, and “oh no that’s not me” moments are what make this place feel like a big, dusty, weird, beautiful family.

While we’re on the subject, let’s get back to what makes us all so much alike. Anyone else ready to drop the divisive BS from the news that’s ripped our families apart the past few years, or is it just me? I kinda miss back when I used to actually like my great aunt…

Find more silly things we have in common and weird stuff that will make you laugh in the galleries below…

8 Delicious Foods My West Texas Granny Always Fed Me

I miss her cooking almost as much as I miss her.

Gallery Credit: Chrissy

5 Great Places To Take A ‘Fart Walk’ In Lubbock (And Where You Never Should)

Gallery Credit: Chrissy