{"id":145924,"date":"2026-02-01T01:05:09","date_gmt":"2026-02-01T01:05:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/145924\/"},"modified":"2026-02-01T01:05:09","modified_gmt":"2026-02-01T01:05:09","slug":"the-weeks-san-antonio-and-texas-news-in-limericks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/145924\/","title":{"rendered":"The week’s San Antonio and Texas news \u2014 in limericks"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"ThereThere once was a senator named Ted\u2026 Credit: Wikimedia Commons \/ Gage Skidmore<\/p>\n

In a new feature, the Current will begin presenting a review of the week\u2019s news in limerick form.<\/p>\n

Why? First, it pleases the people of Nantucket. Second, it appears American attention spans have slipped so much that 90% of U.S. media consumers can no longer make it through the end of a 400-word news story.<\/p>\n

So, without further jawboning, here are limericks summing up a some of the week\u2019s biggest news stories. <\/p>\n

Federal judge orders release of 5-year-old Liam Ramos<\/a><\/p>\n

There once was a judge in SA town,
Who wore quite a skeptical frown,
At ICE officials\u2019 stance,
He called incompetence
And ordered young Liam unbound.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Sen. Ted Cruz calls for arming Iranian protesters and disarming America\u2019s<\/a><\/p>\n

Ted Cruz once appeared on TV,
To preach armed revolt overseas.
\u201cGive Iranians the guns!\u201d
But at home? \u201cYou\u2019re thugs, sons.\u201d
Turns out our rights transfer selectively.<\/p>\n

Texas Education Agency moves to correct 4,200 errors in Bible-infused curriculum<\/a><\/p>\n

There once was a Bible-infused plan,
Quickly dashed off by a partisan clan.
Seems spellcheck was sin,
Peer review?\u00a0Nah, fuck it, friend \u2014
But it owned the libs, so it ran.<\/p>\n

Subscribe to SA Current newsletters.<\/a><\/p>\n

Follow us:\u00a0Apple News<\/a>\u00a0|\u00a0Google News<\/a>\u00a0|\u00a0NewsBreak<\/a>\u00a0|\u00a0Reddit<\/a>\u00a0|\u00a0Instagram<\/a>\u00a0|\u00a0Facebook\u00a0<\/a>| Twitter<\/a>\u00a0| Or sign up for our\u00a0RSS Feed<\/a><\/p>\n

Related Stories<\/p>\n

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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\"Elmo\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a><\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t\t\tThe segment trolls Cruz over his recent Twitter tantrum about the Sesame Street muppet getting the COVID-19 vaccine.\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n

\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\tSanford Nowlin is editor-in-chief of the San Antonio Current. He holds degrees from Trinity University and the University of Texas at San Antonio, and his work has been featured in Salon, Alternet, Creative…\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t
\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tMore by Sanford Nowlin\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/a>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n