Younger men can find it challenging to hug their \u201chomies\u201d or even say \u201cI love you\u201d to them, which is a set boundary between their friendships. But\u00a0why is that considered the norm? Why do younger men find it difficult to show affection,\u00a0care\u00a0or vulnerability with their closest friends?\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Could it be because\u00a0that\u2019s\u00a0just how they were raised? Is it because of familial teachings that have been passed down? Or is it because of insecurities men could have within themselves? A fear of being perceived as \u201ctoo much\u201d or \u201cweak\u201d?\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
For some people, it could mean all those kinds of situations. University of Texas at El Paso (UTEP)\u00a0junior, Gael Guerra\u00a0explained how multifaceted it can be.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cPersonally, it\u2019s just the way we grow up, the way we\u2019re taught,\u00a0the way things are shown to us,\u201d Guerra said.\u00a0\u201c\u200aI\u00a0didn\u2019t\u00a0grow up with my dad for a little bit of my life.\u00a0I still had like other father figures and well, they just showed me about respect and based on how I would see them, they would never do that.\u00a0So,\u00a0I guess I\u00a0thought,\u00a0it\u2019s\u00a0normal not to, for a guy.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
UTEP\u00a0freshman, Christian Lester, had\u00a0similar ideas as to why men his age can find it difficult and\u00a0somewhat unusual\u00a0to be affectionate towards their male close friends.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cProbably like the stigmatism of being manly. I feel like you go with your boys and forget your problems and not talk about them,\u201d Lester said.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
When asked if he had a friend who defied those kinds of \u201cnorms\u201d he had considered for himself, he\u00a0said they all show the affection when\u00a0they feel\u00a0it is necessary.\u00a0<\/p>\n
With both students\u2019 perspectives,\u00a0there is\u00a0some clarity as to why men can feel like there is a norm or even a stigmatism to showing affection towards their friends.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
UTEP junior, Trinity Pitcher, shared her experience\u00a0witnessing\u00a0the way her boyfriend acts towards his friends.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u00a0\u201cHe\u2019s more like one of the bros where they can be affectionate. But there\u2019s a certain boundary, they\u2019ll hug each other. That\u2019s only if somebody initiates it,\u201d Pitcher said. \u201cBesides that, he doesn\u2019t say I love you, but that\u2019s about it.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
Pitcher said she believes her boyfriend\u2019s limited affection towards his friends involves the stereotypes of Mexican culture.\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI think\u00a0it\u2019s\u00a0more Mexican culture because in Mexican culture, males are supposed to be more masculine.\u00a0They\u2019re\u00a0not supposed to show that emotion,\u201d\u00a0Pitcher said.\u00a0<\/p>\n
UTEP senior, Briana Estrada,\u00a0also\u00a0shared similar thoughts\u00a0when it came to young men finding it difficult to be affectionate towards their friends.\u00a0<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u00a0think the way people are raised follow very hegemonic norms and that involves men being more reserved and not as emotional in every aspect of life,\u201d\u00a0Estrada said.\u00a0\u201cI\u00a0think\u00a0that\u2019s\u00a0also a factor in the Mexican culture. Machismo is very prevalent, which leads to a lot of bottling up of feelings because you\u00a0have to\u00a0be a man and a lot of the times you\u00a0have to\u00a0step up and be a protector. So, I feel like that leaves a lot of men with a void. That they refuse to fail due to the way they were raised.\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/p>\n
These perspectives\u00a0show\u00a0a range of viewpoints that can contribute to hesitation around emotional vulnerability,\u00a0even to\u00a0the friends\u00a0who are closest to them.\u00a0\u00a0Still, expressing care and appreciation toward friends\u00a0remains\u00a0an important part of\u00a0maintaining\u00a0personal relationships.<\/p>\n