An email arrived recently from our IT staff, alerting us to a \u201czero-day vulnerability\u201d on our devices that would require an immediate update.<\/p>\n
Yikes. What exactly did that mean? And was it as bad as it sounds?<\/p>\n
So it goes with corporate jargon\u2014words used in business that rely on buzzwords or forced phrases instead of plain, concrete speech. The idea is to sound professional or strategic, but more often it just sounds unclear. Or silly.<\/p>\n
So we asked some thought leaders (WSJ readers), What corporate jargon do you hate the most? Tell us the word or phrase and why it\u2019s your pet peeve.<\/p>\n
It got pretty granular. Here are the terms they lashed out at, and why they find them so offensive.<\/p>\n
Bandwidth: You\u2019re not a router, just say you\u2019re busy, pal!<\/p>\n
I recall during an all-hands, the CEO announced the elimination of a quarterly planning meeting to \u201cprotect everyone\u2019s bandwidth.\u201d The freed-up two hours were immediately filled by: one new check-in meeting, three \u201cbandwidth review\u201d sessions to discuss how people were using their reclaimed bandwidth, and a mandatory survey about whether people felt less bandwidth-constrained. By week two, people had less bandwidth than before. The CEO sent a note: \u201cGiven current bandwidth constraints, we\u2019ll discuss the bandwidth situation next quarter.\u201d<\/p>\n
Change agent: This is how a former colleague describes himself on r\u00e9sum\u00e9s.<\/p>\n
While that might be an attractive descriptor to a company looking for an unemotional outsider to \u201cchange\u201d (aka whack) half of an organization, it conjures for me someone on the midway at the fair wearing a money belt with pennies, nickels, dimes and quarters.<\/p>\n
Circle back: I asked someone to do some research and the response was \u201cI\u2019ll check it out and circle back to you.\u201d Why couldn\u2019t they say, \u201cOK, I\u2019ll send you my results\u201d or \u201cI will follow up on that\u201d?<\/p>\n
John Olaynick, West Palm Beach, Fla.<\/p>\n
Decisioning: It\u2019s a pointless invention to give gravitas to the notion that action or choices should follow. For example, \u201cThis is a decisioning meeting.\u201d It\u2019s completely unnecessary, a misplaced effort to sound more important rather than to do some \u201creal work\u201d and\u2014I don\u2019t know\u2014make a decision?<\/p>\n
Deep dive: Every time I hear some C-Suite type utter the dreaded \u201cdeep dive,\u201d I want to respond, \u201cOh, really? Not investigate, study, discern, discover, find out about, look into? You had to go with deep dive? Did everyone go to the same M.B.A. program?\u201d<\/p>\n
John Lydon, Jacksonville, Fla.<\/p>\n
Growth mindset: Used mainly as an ambiguous way of describing (or asking for) ambition, it has become a useful tool for senior management to encourage junior employees to improve their performance, without committing to specifics that might lead to a promotion or pay raise.<\/p>\n
I experienced this at the hands of a former boss, who, having made the mistake of promising me a pay raise that wasn\u2019t in their power to deliver, resorted to urging a greater growth mindset in every subsequent performance review. A totally unmeasurable goal and thus forever out of reach!<\/p>\n
Hard stop: I used to participate on a weekly call with several of my peers from different departments, all of whom, I estimate, were equally busy and crunched for time. The call was scheduled for one hour. But one person had a propensity to announce to everyone at the beginning of the call that she had a \u201chard stop\u201d at 2 p.m., so we had to wrap up by that time. It came across as her believing she was busier and more important than anyone else on the call.<\/p>\n
Scott Knode, Leakey, Texas<\/p>\n
Hit the ground running: Early in my career as a new-employee trainer, I witnessed a manager tell this to a group of new hires on their first day, at the start of the onboarding process. They still had hours of meetings and orientation. They had shown up excited and smiling. As soon as they heard those words from the manager, I watched their body language immediately shift from excitement to visible tension.<\/p>\n
Later that day, one of the trainees asked me whether they were already behind schedule. It was a lightbulb moment for me: The employee had heard \u201chit the ground running\u201d not as \u201cbe proactive in your training\u201d\u2014which is how the manager meant it\u2014but as \u201cyou are already late in learning the job.\u201d<\/p>\n
I passed the feedback along to this manager to speak with more clarity, especially with anxious and easily confused new employees.<\/p>\n
Juice isn\u2019t worth the squeeze: I hear this so much every day you\u2019d think I was working at Tropicana. At least they aren\u2019t saying \u201cROI,\u201d I guess?<\/p>\n
Kim Peterson, Vienna, Va.<\/p>\n
Lean in: Lean in to what? Are you dancing the Macarena?<\/p>\n
I liked the phrase when I first heard it a few years back and when it\u2019s used in the context of committing to a strategy or a new initiative. But lately it\u2019s used for routine tasks such as \u201cl\u2019m leaning in to finish payroll\u201d or \u2018I\u2019m going to lean in and have lunch.\u201d C\u2019mon!<\/p>\n
Mike O\u2019Malley, Nashville, Tenn.<\/p>\n
Let\u2019s take this offline: No, let\u2019s discuss it now! Or, if you really want to talk about it later, how about you just say that instead? We are offline right now, we\u2019re in a conference room. So what do you mean?<\/p>\n
I have one colleague who loves to use that expression when the discussion is heating up. But it\u2019s often an issue that needs to be resolved and is a primary purpose for the meeting in the first place. He has used it when we\u2019re the only two people in the meeting. Perhaps people who use it are underprepared for confrontation and want to avoid disagreement at any cost.<\/p>\n
Michael Moore, Portland, Ore.<\/p>\n
Leverage: When did this become a thing? \u201cWe can leverage the existing PowerPoint deck,\u201d for example.<\/p>\n
Or maybe we could just use it?<\/p>\n
Move the needle: Ugh. I want to vomit every time I hear this phrase. It does not give you corporate cred. Those of us who heard you are mocking you behind your back on Slack.<\/p>\n
Negative growth: This one is tough to beat. Analysts like to say, \u201cAll quarters were good for Acme Widgets, except for Q3, when they experienced negative growth in revenue.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg Summy, Virginia Beach, Va.<\/p>\n
Piggyback: As in, \u201cI just want to piggyback on his comment.\u201d I can\u2019t begin to describe the agony in hearing this line. We can do better than using elementary language, particularly in a corporate setting. I fear we need to read more to build a deeper lexicon.<\/p>\n
Pivot: Usually said by someone who does not want to tell their superior they disagree with their strategy or when a project is going horribly wrong. For example, \u201cJohn, I really like what you are proposing, but maybe we should pivot and consider outsourcing our production.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ken D\u2019Amato, Boca Raton, Fla.<\/p>\n
Probabilistic: In the marketing world, there is \u201cprobabilistic\u201d targeting of customers. It means probable, but someone had to make it sound fancy and almost impossible to pronounce. Every time, I want to stop them and tell them to just say \u201cprobable.\u201d<\/p>\n
Put a pin in that: This, along with \u201cLet\u2019s double-click on that,\u201d is just silly speak.<\/p>\n
My exposure to this all stems from being around salespeople who were not competent and didn\u2019t have a clue in how to sell, so they fell back on trite sayings. They would call to \u201ctouch base\u201d which was simply an excuse to talk without genuine purpose with hopes of learning something about a sale in process. It offers zero value to the person you are selling and talking to!<\/p>\n
Mark Hilborn, Orlando, Fla.<\/p>\n
Reach out: This phrase sounds so overblown. \u201cReach out to Bob in accounting\u201d seems to imply some level of difficulty, like you\u2019re trying to get a personal reply from Taylor Swift or something, when it may just be a matter of walking up to Bob\u2019s cubicle on the other side of the building.<\/p>\n
In short, if you\u2019re not AT&T (\u201cReach out and touch someone\u201d) or Neil Diamond (\u201creachin\u2019 out, touchin\u2019 me, touchin\u2019 you\u201d) please do not ask me to \u201creach out\u201d to anyone.<\/p>\n
Socialize: To share an idea or proposal with key decisionmakers in order to solicit feedback and gain approval or buy-in to make a decision.<\/p>\n
Example: \u201cThanks for sending this proposal. We will socialize and revert\u201d which means, in plain English, \u201cWe\u2019ll run it up the chain of command to see if we can get it approved, and then get back to you with the decision or additional comments.\u201d<\/p>\n
Allison Shapira, Washington<\/p>\n
Soup to nuts: This phrase is a non-value-add in most cases as we can tell from the context of the statement something is being looked at or redone completely. Its use is distracting in the moment.<\/p>\n
Besides, I can\u2019t remember the last time I got nuts at the end of a restaurant dinner. If a restaurant analogy is to be used, perhaps it should be \u201cheavily alcoholic cocktail to overpriced bill.\u201d<\/p>\n
Greg Fontana, Santa Rosa, Calif.<\/p>\n
Space: The equity space. The beauty-supply space. The intellectual-property space. The media space.<\/p>\n
They\u2019re not spaces, they\u2019re sectors or industries. Spaces are well-defined and venerable terms in physics and math. If you don\u2019t know what \u201cphase space\u201d or \u201cvector space\u201d is, then stay away! And if you do know, then don\u2019t consign \u201cspace\u201d to jargon space.<\/p>\n
Eric J. Bruskin, Middletown Township, Pa.<\/p>\n
Stakeholders: It makes me think of vampire slayers.<\/p>\n
Diana Matthews, Whiteville, N.C.<\/p>\n
Take a 10,000-foot view: I hate when people use this phrase to mean taking a look at a situation or project more broadly. I don\u2019t know the number of feet from which I\u2019m looking at something to start with, so I don\u2019t know what it would look like to view it from 10,000 feet. If you want me to forget about the details for the time being, just say that!<\/p>\n
Emily Muhlberg, Austin, Texas<\/p>\n
Thought leadership: This isn\u2019t a term that most of us would use, even in semiformal conversation. Either \u201cresearch\u201d or \u201canalysis\u201d is easier to understand quickly, which should be the goal. Thought leadership, on the other hand, implies that we can create and lead a hive mind like the Borg from \u201cStar Trek.\u201d<\/p>\n
Kris Hudson, Grand Prairie, Texas<\/p>\n
Unpack that: In other words: Deal with it now. It\u2019s so overly consultant-speak cringey that I can clearly picture a corporate off-site meeting about to go into breakout sessions. The consultant is at the front of the room with a flip-chart indicating tabletop topics and instructions. Ugh, pure torture.<\/p>\n
Marianne Watson, San Antonio<\/p>\n
Utilize: I teach new writers to avoid utilize except in a \u201cMacGyver\u201d-like case, when something is used for a purpose it wasn\u2019t originally intended, \u201cI utilized a gum wrapper and a paper clip to unlock the door.\u201d<\/p>\n
Everything else is \u201cuse.\u201d<\/p>\n
Julie Ferris-Tillman, Milwaukee<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"An email arrived recently from our IT staff, alerting us to a \u201czero-day vulnerability\u201d on our devices that…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":195910,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[138,140,139,77576],"class_list":["post-195909","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-el-paso","tag-el-paso","tag-el-paso-headlines","tag-el-paso-news","tag-onboarding"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195909","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=195909"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/195909\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/195910"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=195909"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=195909"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=195909"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}