The trailer for Spider-Man: Brand New Day dropped, and it got me wondering: could Spidey actually save Lubbock\u2026 or would he just end up calling an Uber?<\/p>\n
I\u2019ll admit it \u2014 I\u2019m at least a movie and a cartoon behind on Spider-Man. At this point, I don\u2019t even know where to jump back in. Then again, I\u2019ve always leaned more toward the street-level heroes \u2014 Batman, Punisher, Daredevil \u2014 the \u201chandle it yourself\u201d crowd. Looking at that list now\u2026 yeah, turns out I\u2019ve got a type. Vigilantes over world-savers.<\/p>\n
Somewhere along the way, Spider-Man vaulted past Iron Man and whatever version of the Avengers we\u2019re on now. And it makes sense \u2014 he\u2019s relatable. Or at least as relatable as a kid who got bit by a radioactive spider can be.<\/p>\n
Would Spider-Man Be A Force In Lubbock, Texas?<\/p>\n
Which brings us to Lubbock, Texas.<\/p>\n
If Spider-Man showed up here, the first thing we\u2019d need is a proper villain. I\u2019m thinking Tornado Man \u2014 a swirling West Texas nightmare fueled by dirt, wind, and loose trampolines. Spidey could probably handle that\u2026 assuming the fight stays downtown.<\/p>\n
And that\u2019s where the whole plan falls apart.<\/p>\n
See, Spider-Man\u2019s entire thing is swinging from building to building. That works great in New York. In Lubbock? We\u2019ve got about six buildings tall enough to matter, and they\u2019re all politely minding their own business downtown. The second Spidey tries to leave that area, what\u2019s he gonna do \u2014 web-sling from Whataburger to a cotton field?<\/p>\n
At some point, even Spider-Man has to admit defeat and open the Uber app.<\/p>\n
Now sure, he might have an edge against someone like Sandman \u2014 we\u2019ve got plenty of blowing dust to keep things interesting \u2014 but none of that matters if he can\u2019t get across town without hitching a ride.<\/p>\n