When hardship struck Yamel Ibarg\u00fcen, she hit back.<\/p>\n
After a life-altering decision forced Ibarg\u00fcen and her daughters Andrea and Yara Huerta-Ibarg\u00fcen into significant life changes, the single mother discovered her emotional strength, gaining self-reliance, patience and empowerment.<\/p>\n
“When I was in that situation, I was actually trying to make myself small for somebody else to look better,\u201d she said, adding the decision caused stress and emotional disruption for her and her daughters. \u201cI didn\u2019t have to do that anymore. I could follow my dreams and do whatever I wanted. If people are in the way, well, they\u2019re going to have to deal with it.\u201d<\/p>\n
After decades of putting off writing a children\u2019s book, Ibarg\u00fcen, at the urging of her oldest daughter Andrea, wrote \u201cEva Martinez Wears Calcimines\u201d in 2023.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Single mother Yamel Ibarg\u00fcen turned hardship into strength, writing children’s books including ‘Eva Martinez Wears Calcimines.’<\/p>\n
Photo by Joe Nu\u00f1ez<\/p>\n
\u201cMy daughters and I were going through a difficult life changing event that impacted all of us,\u201d said Ibarg\u00fcen, 48, a dual language teacher at Mission Valley Elementary. \u201cDuring the process, I tried to keep them motivated and thinking positively. My oldest daughter asked me if there was anything that I wanted to do that I haven\u2019t done. It got me thinking about writing a book, I\u2019ve always wanted to write a book. But life happens and it never happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
The book’s main character is an ostrich who doesn\u2019t know how to express her emotions. Every time she feels emotion, she puts a sock on to hide it. Every color represents a difference emotion. The book helps children learn how to express their emotions.<\/p>\n
\u201cMy daughter told me, \u2018Well, it\u2019s like you always tell us, we can do anything we want to do, then why don\u2019t you do what you want to do and write a book?\u2019\u201d she said. \u201cWhat\u2019s the use of me telling them they can do whatever they want in this life and here I am not showing them by example?\u201d<\/p>\n
Ibarg\u00fcen and the girls \u2014 a single mother and two teenage daughters \u2014 are adjusting well to their new life, navigating by establishing stable, consistent rules, maintaining open and empathetic communication, and fostering independent, nurturing bonds.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe is very inspiring,\u201d said Andrea, 17. \u201cShe is always going for her dreams no matter if they seem out of reach. She taught us to have big dreams. That\u2019s important to have for us as teenaged girls. It can be hard at this age, but she has proven that anything is possible and that\u2019s what I love about her.\u201d<\/p>\n
Yara, 15, loves her mother\u2019s determination.<\/p>\n
\u201cShe is the most determined person I know,\u201d she said. \u201cThis book is a great example. She set her mind to doing it, she moved forward with it and has excelled at it. At every one of her events, every signing, every reading, she\u2019s always so dedicated and 100% there.\u201d<\/p>\n
At a crucial crossroad of life three years ago, Ibarg\u00fcen\u2019s first instinct was driven by a powerful urge to protect her children’s emotional well-being and maintain stability.<\/p>\n
She suppressed her own distress to care for them, overriding her own emotional needs, leading her to prioritize routines, security and the children’s comfort above her own.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs mother, I didn\u2019t have time to be sad,\u201d she said. \u201cI had to get myself up and do it for the girls. In the beginning it was really hard for me. I\u2019m really good at expressing myself but I didn\u2019t want to cry in front of them. I thought if I was sad, they would be sad, so I was going to pretend I was happy.\u201d<\/p>\n
But once she started writing, she realized it was acceptable if Andrea and Yara saw her cry.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was OK if they saw me when I was down. But I wasn\u2019t going to stay down, I was going to get up, and they are going to learn,\u201d she said. \u201cHopefully, it will never happen to them, but if it does, they will remember that their mother got up off the ground and survived, and they could do it, too.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ibarg\u00fcen found strength by channeling her pain into self-preservation, relying on Andrea and Yara as motivation. She focused on creating a better, more peaceful life for them and for herself.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt was the worst thing that could have happened to me,\u201d she said. \u201cBut I thought I\u2019m not going to let just it happen. Something positive has to come from it, not just for my daughters but for me. It can\u2019t end like. When it happened, I thought I was just going to live for my girls. But no, I am still young, I needed to do something with my life. I needed something to look forward to and something to be proud of. Something good had to come from this; and it has.\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Ibarg\u00fcen’s three books all use animals to help children express their emotions.<\/p>\n
Photo by Joe Nu\u00f1ez<\/p>\n
She reclaimed her identity and began to write.<\/p>\n
First \u201cEva Martinez Wears Calcimines\u201d in 2023, and then \u201cAy Muchacha, Cucaracha!\u201d and \u201cEl Patito Benito\u201d both in 2025.<\/p>\n
Since her first day of kindergarden, Ibarg\u00fcen\u2019s dream was to be teacher. It wasn\u2019t until she graduated from UTEP when her career desire included writing.<\/p>\n
\u201cI wanted to be a dual-language teacher, but I had a hard time finding books I liked in Spanish. So I thought, \u2018I\u2019m going to write my book, that\u2019s the first thing I\u2019m going to do,\u2019\u201d she said. \u201cTwenty years later, a whole life past, but I did it. Yes, we were going through a hard time, but everything happens for a reason. I don\u2019t think I would have written it if that wouldn\u2019t have happened.\u201d<\/p>\n
The books deal with everyday life of migrants in the United States, using animals to tell the stories.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have a lot of students who come from Ju\u00e1rez,\u201d she said. \u201cI also have one or two students who live in the United States with someone other than their family members. Some of my students are sad and they cry because they only see their families on the weekend. I have to take them outside to talk to them. Sometimes I cry with them because they are so little and they miss their mom, they miss their parents. Their family is making a huge sacrifice in sending them here because they know it\u2019s a better future.\u201d<\/p>\n
She refuses to ignore what is right in front of her.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know I\u2019m just one person and I\u2019m not going to make a huge difference, but I\u2019m not going to cross my arms, tampoco,\u201d she said. \u201cI\u2019m ian mmigrant myself; it was really hard for me. I need my students to relate to these characters and to know that they would be fine. It\u2019s a sacrifice, but they are going to be fine at the end.\u201d<\/p>\n
Her books have also impacted adults.<\/p>\n
\u201cI remember at Barnes and Noble there was a man in his late 40s who told me he was the ostrich,\u201d she said, as a smile crept on her face. \u201cHe said he didn\u2019t know how to express himself, either, and that his heart was heavy. Coming from a man, I thought it was powerful. I was so proud. It gave me a new perspective. For a man in his 40s to be able to relate to a fictional character who is silly, who would have thought?\u201d<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Andrea, left, and Yara Huerta-Ibarg\u00fcen said they are beyond blessed to have a mother like Yamel Ibarg\u00fcen.\u00a0<\/p>\n
Photo by Joe Nu\u00f1ez<\/p>\n
Ibarg\u00fcen now views herself differently.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen I was going through it, there was a person who would tell me, \u2018It\u2019s a storm, it\u2019s going to pass and then you will be there for somebody else at their moment in need,\u2019\u201d she said. \u201cI never thought that would happen.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cI\u2019ve been there for one particular friend who is going through what I did,\u201d she said. \u201cShe told me she sees me when I go to a book signing and she sees me with my girls and she said she was going to be more open with her kids and have better communication with them.\u201d<\/p>\n
Ibarg\u00fcen understand it is more difficult for women to get back on track after a life-hanging event.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s a man\u2019s world. Of course it\u2019s more difficult for a woman to grow and to do things on their own,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe other half of the equation is free to start a new life from zero. I had to lift myself up while I was carrying my girls, while I was trying to figure out my future financially and emotionally to try to support my daughters and follow my dreams at the same time.<\/p>\n
\u201cMaybe it wasn\u2019t the perfect situation, but it was the perfect time,\u201d she continued. \u201cI don\u2019t think any of this would have happened if my situation hadn\u2019t changed, I am a totally different woman now and I love it, I love it.\u201d<\/p>\n
It hasn\u2019t gone unnoticed.<\/p>\n
\u201cI hope she knows the impact that she has made in my life,\u201d Andrea said. \u201cShe is the most wonderful woman ever and I\u2019m beyond blessed to have a mother like her. She is the best mom I could ever have, and I hope she knows that.\u201d<\/p>\n
Yara said she understands how strong her mother had to be for her, but she and her sister also had to be tough for their mother.<\/p>\n
\u201cThis wasn\u2019t planned, life just happens so we had to be there for our mom,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n
\u201cI have seen how grow so much as a person. She is exploring different sides of herself. When we see her at the readings, she puts out a powerful image. I hope she knows how much she inspires me and how much I hope to be half the person she is when I grow up. I am so proud of her.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"When hardship struck Yamel Ibarg\u00fcen, she hit back. After a life-altering decision forced Ibarg\u00fcen and her daughters Andrea…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":284939,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[138,140,139,10616,28277],"class_list":["post-284938","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-el-paso","tag-el-paso","tag-el-paso-headlines","tag-el-paso-news","tag-factiva","tag-local_features"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284938","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=284938"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/284938\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/284939"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=284938"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=284938"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=284938"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}