{"id":348630,"date":"2026-06-24T15:45:09","date_gmt":"2026-06-24T15:45:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/348630\/"},"modified":"2026-06-24T15:45:09","modified_gmt":"2026-06-24T15:45:09","slug":"the-unofficial-lubbock-guide-to-being-a-trash-person","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/348630\/","title":{"rendered":"The Unofficial Lubbock Guide To Being A Trash Person"},"content":{"rendered":"

As someone who has spent decades carefully studying the subject, I feel uniquely qualified to discuss what it takes to become a certified trash heap in this town.<\/p>\n

Not an actual bad person.<\/p>\n

More like a raccoon with a credit card.<\/p>\n

A human being who means well, but lives more like a cryptid.<\/p>\n

If you’re wondering whether or not you qualify, let’s take a little peekie poo at the criteria, shall we?<\/p>\n

Half Your Bed Is A Storage Unit<\/p>\n

Nobody else has visited that side of the bed in months.<\/p>\n

It’s currently occupied by dirty laundry, an old Arby’s bag (with 7 leftover curly fries), two empty water bottles, and several items you “lost” months ago.<\/p>\n

You Do The “Smell Check”<\/p>\n

Who has time to hang up clothes when you can grab them from the laundry pile, give them a whiff, and then decide what kind of day you’re having? No brainer, guys.<\/p>\n

Read More:\u00a0The Most Goblin Things Lubbock Residents Do In The Summer<\/a><\/p>\n

Dinner Is Whatever You Can Buy For $1.62<\/p>\n

Tonight’s special: Headhunters Hot Dogs! (They’re like 49 cents, fool. Hurry! They make them 24\/7, and none of the employees judge when you’re short a couple of cents. Promise.)<\/p>\n

You Refuse To Make Two Trips<\/p>\n

One trip from the car is the law around these parts.<\/p>\n

You’re a pro at hanging 17 Walmart bags up your arms AND carrying the cat litter all in one trip. Break a few eggs? No sweat. Better than the pasta sauce jar last week.<\/p>\n

Are You A Trash Person?<\/p>\n

If you found yourself nodding along with most of this list, then congratulations!<\/p>\n

You’re not lazy, and you’re not disorganized.<\/p>\n

You are simply a trash person in West Texas.<\/p>\n

As long as your bills are paid and your cat is happy, you’re doing better than most of us!<\/p>\n

Who Are The Most Intimidating Figures In Lubbock, Texas?<\/p>\n

These locals are truly terrifying…<\/p>\n

Gallery Credit: Chrissy<\/p>\n

Things Lubbock Actually Does Better Than Bigger Cities (No One Talks About This)<\/p>\n

There’s more to Lubbock than dust and tumbleweeds. We actually do some things WAY better than the competition. <\/p>\n

Gallery Credit: Chrissy<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"As someone who has spent decades carefully studying the subject, I feel uniquely qualified to discuss what it…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":348631,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[168,170,169,223],"class_list":["post-348630","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-lubbock","tag-lubbock","tag-lubbock-headlines","tag-lubbock-news","tag-news"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348630","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=348630"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/348630\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/348631"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=348630"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=348630"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us-tx\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=348630"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}