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Welcome to the latest edition of Only in Houston<\/a>, Space City\u2019s premier purveyor of smart-assery as a defense mechanism against the constant parade of horrors<\/a> both mundane and horrible. Before we begin, we wish to acknowledge the death of Lorenzo Salgado Araujo<\/a> at the hands of ICE agents on July 7. Because Houstonia is not a breaking-news outlet, we didn\u2019t have the resources to immediately join the chorus of calls for a full investigation. However, it remains our steadfast belief that his memory and his family deserve answers and justice, and that cannot happen if Harris County sits this one out or unquestioningly accepts the results of a federal probe. We stand in solidarity with the wishes of his surviving loved ones.<\/p>\n And now, for our feature presentation\u2026<\/p>\n Not in My Backyard!<\/p>\n Karens in The Woodlands banded together to form a Mega Super Ultra Karen Voltron to complain that concerts at the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion might feature\u2014time to clutch your pearls\u2014naughty language. According to\u00a0ABC 13<\/a>, they threatened to report the storied venue to the Federal Communications Commission, which doesn\u2019t even regulate live music performances.<\/p>\n To the Pavilion\u2019s credit, they issued a polite, legal-friendly rebuttal about artistic expression and censorship. We admire their restraint in stopping short of pointing out that if the critics cared so much about their precious kiddos possibly hearing swears, then maybe they should consider taking an active interest in their media diets. That requires actually doing the job of parenting, though, which would rob them of precious time away from Botox and golf.<\/p>\n The best part about this whole quintessentially Woodlands to-do is that the artist in question who sent their teeth a-gnashin\u2019 was none other than fellow Houstonian and former Disney Channel pop princess Hillary Duff<\/a>. Because, come to find out, the suburbs aren\u2019t what dreams are made of.\u00a0<\/p>\n Life’s (Not) a Breeze<\/p>\n It turns out landlords aren\u2019t required to provide air conditioning to their tenants in Houston\u2014a subtropical swamp that\u2019s currently weathering (pun intended) the ravages of climate change. Community Impact<\/a> reports that, thanks to building standard codes, landlords can skip AC units altogether if they install window screens for cooling instead. Make it make sense.<\/p>\n Because we can\u2019t keep expecting Megan Thee Stallion to be the only one footing the bill<\/a> for emergency power for seniors, City Councilmember Alejandra Salinas has called on the city to pass the Right to Air Conditioning ordinance to close this nonsensical loophole. She points out that landlords failing to provide air conditioning disproportionately harm predominantly Black and Latin American communities. Along with seniors, young children and disabled people are the most at-risk of developing heat-related illnesses.<\/p>\n City Council is expected to discuss the ordinance at a meeting on July 28, and we know Houstonia\u2019s City Hall columnist, Emily Hynds<\/a>, will report on this critical public health topic with her signature punch and panache. No Houstonians should ever be considered an acceptable loss if their landlords want to pinch pennies and put them directly on a path toward sickness and death.<\/p>\n Don’t Tread on Me<\/p>\n Flock cameras aren\u2019t exactly popular here. The company who makes these solar-powered security devises claims they only record license plates, but the cameras have reportedly been used to identify protesters, activists, and others\u00a0questioning the status quo<\/a> (some of that information has allegedly gotten passed on to the feds). ABC 13<\/a> reports that two Flock cameras along Washington Avenue were hacked in half and spray-painted. Though they were installed in 2021, many Houstonians, including business owners along the Washington corridor, weren\u2019t aware of the cameras\u2019 presence until news of the vandalization hit.<\/p>\n Dead Men Don’t Snitch<\/p>\n Some people hunt ghosts in cemeteries; others, treasure. After all, who\u2019s there to call the cops? Turns out, the people reviewing the security cameras set up at a cemetery along the Katy Freeway near Eldridge have the corporeality to dial 911. KHOU<\/a> reports that an unidentified woman was caught breaking into multiple cremation niches to steal jewelry and other valuables left behind to honor the deceased. She even brought her toddler along while robbing the deceased of their riches.\u00a0Please excuse us while we start outlining our screenplay.<\/p>\n Nguyen Again<\/p>\n