SAN ANTONIO \u2013 For years, Charles thought he understood what domestic violence looked like.<\/p>\n
He had seen it in his own family.<\/p>\n
But when he found himself in an abusive relationship, Charles says he couldn\u2019t recognize the warning signs until it was too late.<\/p>\n
\u201cI never did realize it. I could see the signs on other people\u2019s relationships, but when I\u2019m in it myself, I never could see it until it was too late,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
Charles\u2019 mother was murdered by her ex-husband in the early 1990s.<\/p>\n
In 2013, his sister was murdered by her boyfriend.<\/p>\n
Charles says those experiences stayed with him \u2014 and in 2024, he says his family\u2019s history of domestic violence became part of his own story.<\/p>\n
He recalls one night when his former partner attacked him with a knife.<\/p>\n
\u201cThat night that he went after me with the knife, that\u2019s the first thing that came to my mind, because that\u2019s what my sister\u2019s boyfriend did,\u201d he said. <\/p>\n
Charles says he now understands why leaving an abusive relationship isn\u2019t always as simple as it may sound.<\/p>\n
He says he felt responsible for helping his former partner, whose mother had recently died of an overdose.<\/p>\n
\u201cHe didn\u2019t have anyone,\u201d Charles said. \u201cAnd I kept on telling him, \u2018Oh, he\u2019s going to change.\u2019 If I don\u2019t help him, no one\u2019s going to help him.\u201d<\/p>\n
Charles says he contacted police multiple times during his relationship.<\/p>\n
According to court records, his former partner was arrested and charged twice with misdemeanor assault. Both cases were dismissed.<\/p>\n
The violence later escalated.<\/p>\n
In 2024, Charles\u2019 former partner was charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, a felony.<\/p>\n
Court records also show violations of a protective order while the defendant was out on bond.<\/p>\n
The defendant ultimately received four years of deferred adjudication.<\/p>\n
Charles says he is frustrated that his former partner did not receive prison time.<\/p>\n
\u201cTo know that he could be in prison right now, it\u2019s a very upsetting thing,\u201d he said. <\/p>\n
Charles believes domestic violence was not taken seriously enough in his case and wants to see more resources for same-sex relationships.<\/p>\n
For Charles, breaking the cycle means making sure victims don\u2019t feel alone.<\/p>\n
Charles asked KSAT not to show his face because of safety concerns. His former partner still lives in San Antonio, he says.<\/p>\n
Despite those concerns, Charles says he felt it was important to speak out \u2014 for his mother, his sister and himself.<\/p>\n
\u201cI know that it\u2019s a cycle that needs to be broken,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n
If you or someone you know is dealing with domestic violence, there is so much help for you. KSAT has a list of resources<\/a> on its Domestic Violence webpage<\/a>, which also explains how to identify different types of abuse.<\/p>\n Survivors in unincorporated Bexar County who are not in current emergencies can fill out an online form<\/a> to get in touch with STAR specialists.<\/p>\n Anyone in immediate danger should call 911.<\/p>\n For wrap-around services, including the Battered Women and Children\u2019s Shelter, call Family Violence Prevention Services <\/a>at (210) 733-8810.<\/p>\n