I\u2019m just going to say it:\u00a0everyone\u2019s decorating for Christmas already\u00a0when we haven\u2019t even properly celebrated Thanksgiving. I saw a neighbor string up fairy lights around their mailbox last week. In November. My cereal nearly snapped under the existential pressure.<\/p>\n
Like, hold up. We haven\u2019t even broken out the cranberry sauce yet, and here come reindeer inflatables, red and green bows, and \u201cJingle Bells\u201d playlists smacking me in the face. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I love holiday cheer. But can we\u00a0please\u00a0give turkey, gratitude, and nostalgia a real shot before jumping on the tinsel train?<\/p>\n
That\u2019s why I\u2019m launching\u00a0ThanksGrizzing, a revolution of deceleration. A celebration of Thanksgiving\u00a0first, without premature Santa cameos, tinsel tornadoes, or elves photobombing the cornucopia. Because Thanksgiving deserves more than just being \u201cthe thing you have to endure before Black Friday.\u201d<\/p>\n
What Does ThanksGrizzing Look Like:A Proper Official Song<\/p>\n
Sure, The Thanksgiving Song by Adam Sandler used to be fun, but profanity and pop-culture in-jokes make grandma clutch her pearls, and it\u2019s not exactly toddler-approved. We need a full-fledged, heartwarming, \u201cfeel-the-cranberry-almond stuffin\u2019\u201d anthem.<\/p>\n
Linda’s Thanksgiving Song from Bob\u2019s Burgers? Cute. But it’s like, 10 seconds long. I want more than a trailer, I want an album of ThanksGrizzing songs: \u201cPilgrim Polka,\u201d \u201cMashed Potato Masquerade,\u201d \u201cGravy Gratitude Groove.\u201d<\/p>\n
There\u2019s also that autotuned \u201cchurch lady singing about Thanksgiving food\u201d meme, which is a solid\u00a0Part 1\u00a0of this musical project, but we need a full trilogy of emotionally pure, family-friendly Thanksgiving bops. One for gratitude, one for post-turkey nap bliss, and one for leftovers midnight snack joy. Maybe a few about family fights and ‘cousin walks’ to really round out the nostalgia feeling for families who appreciate the beauty in messiness and toxicity.<\/p>\n
Nostalgia-Fueled Traditions (That Are Actually Traditions)<\/p>\n
Why do Hallmark-style Christmas movies get all the cinematic love? Thanksgiving has cinematic gold!! Slap on a montage of turkey jokes, family chaos, Tia Mildred\u2019s unresolved trauma, and someone spilling sparkling cider. We need a ThanksGrizzing movie marathon! Classic Thanksgiving flicks like\u00a0Planes, Trains and Automobiles,\u00a0Spider-Man,\u00a0Home for the Holidays, and The Addams Family Values!<\/p>\n