The club accused UEFA, the media and even Brendan Rodgers but Michael Gannon believes only the board is at fault
Peter Lawwell, Brendan Rodgers and Michael Nicholson
It used to be known at Statement O’Clock during some of the wackier of the Rangers banter years.
The then Ibrox chiefs would stick out some bonkers release late on Friday nights that would have fans choking on their carry-outs.
Now it’s Celtic’s turn to hit the send button during the witching hours.
Saturday evening’s 1000-word AI-inspired opus was a cracker.
Under-siege Parkhead bosses gave it the green light during Casualty on BBC 1 – which seemed pretty apt given the response was like one of those chaotic episodes of the long running drama where a helicopter crashes into an old folk’s home or something.
The entire thing felt more like a scene from Blackadder Goes Forth though, with Stephen Fry’s General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett pacing in his office, preparing the latest suicide mission.
‘Take this down, Darling…’
Yeah, Celtic fans wanted answers but this wasn’t it. They wanted clarity of the club’s ambitions but it wasn’t that either.
It was more like one of Baldrick’s cunning plans, involving a pair of Y-fronts on the head and a couple of pencils up the nose.
It could have been all so straight forward. A cosy chat with Michael Nicholson and the club media, admitting mistakes were made in the window but it was all with Celtic’s best interests at heart and they’d make sure to be more prepared to take on the mighty Kairat and co next time.
Hands up and let’s all be friends again.
It probably wouldn’t have washed – but it wouldn’t have launched a jerry can of petrol into an already smouldering bin fire.
Going on the offensive has only offended and further angered an already fuming support.
And all of this was on top of a reported ‘club insider’ pointing the finger at Brendan Rodgers for the window shambles and accusing the boss of ‘engineering an exit’.
Quite why Rodgers would need to engineer anything is a mystery. He’s got nine months left on his contract and then he’s gone. If the club think he’s at the madam they can pay him up at any time.
Rodgers is way beyond needing to play any tricks in public.
But that was Saturday morning. It’s the nighttime public address that’s left everyone in a state of shock.
Celtic failed to sign Denmark star Kasper Dolberg(Image: SNS Group)
Gerald Ratner would have thought twice about this one. Even the not-so subtle Rangers jibe was cheap and irrelevant.
There was almost too much to break down in this avalanche of excuses and contradictions.
Chucking the big bad boys at UEFA into the mix was bold, saying the big wigs have Celtic’s hands tied over financial stability regulations.
At no point in the past has this ever been mentioned, so it does seem strange to lob it in now, and plenty of smart folk have already took an mallet to the notion.
Weirdly, the rules apply to every single club in Europe and plenty of them seem to be able to sign players.
It does seem unlikely Celtic are anywhere close to the limit anyway. It wasn’t a worry when a £8m striker was slipping through their fingers on deadline day. It wasn’t a problem when going for a £5m player in July and then signing him for, erm, £5m in August.
It doesn’t seem an issue when player wages are stuck at 2001 levels yet executive salaries have shot through the roof. Strange.
Of it could be guff. Who knows?
Some of the other stuff didn’t add up either. Selling clubs or targeted players want to wait to the end of the window to make more money, apparently.
So why would Celtic wait if they knew it would cost them more? Tis a mystery.
It’s also the media’s fault, of course. The big bad mainstream media who have ‘commoditised’ the transfer window.
Now that was a funny one. A club who would flog the soggy t-bag out of your mug, who punt players for fortunes every summer and expect fans to stump up for tickets, strips and everything else accusing others of trying to make a buck.
But it’s the mainstream media punting misinformation about signings that has inflamed the fans, apparently.
Yeah, those naughty Dutch hacks made the Go Ahead Eagles board laugh Celtic out of town. It was sneaky Slovakian journos who got Bratislava to reveal they’d been low-balled.
And those Belgians having the cheek to tell people a striker had knocked the Hoops back for a better offer.
Sure, there is a lot of nonsense over the summer. It’s called the silly season for a reason.
But they could end a lot of it by killing non stories stone dead with a phone call.
Unfortunately the drawbridge has more often than not been pulled up in recent years when it comes to this stuff.
Celtic are a closed shop and it allows all kinds of narratives to fly around, particularly online.
It sounds like the Parkhead board simply can’t comprehend where all this fan fury has come from.
The team is dominating in Scotland, so what’s the problem?
This cash pot in the background – the one they said is irrelevant due to UEFA – is the problem.
It has been for a while. And they know it. Don’t forget they tried to bury record numbers a few years ago at Statement O’Clock when the team were in Champions League action.
This dosh has become a noose. Celtic fans are emptying their wallets every year and want to see the best possible team on the park. They see the coffers swelling and the team crumbling, along with their home at Celtic Park.
Supporters are not demanding the club ‘throw’ money around. They are not expecting five £15m players each summer.
They just don’t want to be going into a Champions League qualifier with gaping hopes in the side or shuffling in the free agent bin after the window has shut.
And they certainly don’t want millions in the bank justified by a thousand meaningless words on the website.