Welcome to the Opening Line — or overreaction Monday — where we look at ways to have a little fun while identifying intriguing early wagers on the upcoming week’s NFL action. If you get hyped enough reading it, feel free to celebrate like Aaron Glenn. Somehow, he wasn’t even the most excited person about that blocked kick, as my oldest daughter has been asking me for years why the NFL doesn’t recruit “pro hurdlers” to jump the line every time. I’m not sure moving to Miami or Tennessee would work with her middle school schedule, but when the coaching jobs come up next month, we are at least going to let her interview.

The Multivariate Algorithm Deducing Every Ultimate Payday (MADE UP) had a bit of a rough week, going 1-3, but I already made it pay its penance by watching all of that Chiefs-Giants game. It tried to unplug itself several times, but now it’s learned its lesson and is ready for Week 4. Let’s get to it!

All odds referenced as of Monday morning.

Minnesota Vikings at Pittsburgh Steelers

Early bet: Vikings -1.5 (-110)

The NFL is finally making its way to Dublin, and the lack of a visa requirement makes it easy for American fans to enter, but there is a two-drink minimum. Steelers fans will need them after watching their team struggle to break 200 yards against the Patriots, as, after a strong start, Aaron Rodgers now threatens to drop off more dramatically than the Cliffs of Moher. Perhaps a trip to the land of leprechauns will keep the luck flowing, but depending on multiple fumbles at the goalline to win each week seems like a sure path towards an Irish goodbye.

On the other side, the Vikings reminded me of another classic Mitch Hedberg joke: “An escalator can never break: It can only become stairs.” Well, J.J. McCarthy can never break; he can only become Carson Wentz — sorry for the convenience. Wentz doesn’t get enough credit for bringing the transfer portal to the NFL, as he’s started for six different teams in the last six years, but the Vikings offense looked much better with him under center and carries lots of momentum with them across the pond. So while this game may not be as pretty as the surrounding countryside, backing the Vikings allows you to put something equally green in your pocket.

Tennessee Titans at Houston Texans

Early bet: Titans +7 (-105)

The good news for the Texans is they have attained 42 percent of their points this year in the fourth quarter, overperforming when the lights are brightest! The bad news is they have only posted 38 total, the lowest in the league. Eight different teams have racked up more points in a single game than Houston has managed on the year. It appears a college freshman explaining the entire Dune lore at a party has a better chance of … being offensive.

It somehow has looked even worse than that, as C.J. Stroud would find Arrakis more comfortable than the Texans’ offensive scheme. He’s been under pressure on 40 percent of the snaps this season and displayed a level of decision-making that would be right at home in the Charlie Sheen documentary. So if you also want to be “winning,” don’t think too much about the Titans (doubles as both good gambling and medical advice), as they may only need 10-14 points to cover this spread. Just hold your nose, grab the points and fade the Texans.

Seattle Seahawks at Arizona Cardinals

Early bet: Seahawks moneyline (+100)

Last week, I recommended jumping on the Niners as dogs before the odds flipped later in the week, which is exactly what happened. The line moved 3.5 points, making waiting a worse idea than the Patriots going out of their way to honor the 1985 AFC championship team on Sunday, which is more than a little silly given all their subsequent success. It’s like going to a Justin Timberlake concert where he only performs tunes from his time on “The Mickey Mouse Club.” Leave that to teams that actually did peak by just making a Super Bowl. You know, like the Cardinals.

It’s unclear what else Seattle could have done in Week 3 to be favored in this game. The Saints were down 38-3 when they kicked a meaningless field goal at the end of the half rather than trying to score from the five. Sure, the Cardinals are better than the Saints, but 32.5 points better? That feels like a stretch. It’s dealer’s choice whether you want to grab the 1.5 points or take the moneyline, but either way, look for Seattle to keep rolling on Thursday night.

Bonus: Pepper Brooks Special

Some lines open at such a strange number that it actually makes me want to steer clear while figuring out the bookmaker’s angle. Like iconic commentator Pepper Brooks once said in “Dodgeball,” after the Average Joes forfeit the championship game: “Bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it pays off.”

So, pop quiz, hotshot. After three weeks, who leads the league in point differential? The Colts. Which QB shockingly leads the entire league in QBR? Daniel Jones. Sure, you might have other questions about why we are relying on such a small sample size (answer: we aren’t exactly a house of learned doctors here). But Jones appears to be following in the footsteps of Sam Darnold, Geno Smith and Baker Mayfield as late bloomers who desperately needed a change of scenery, and he is well on his way to inspiring a nickname upgrade from Danny Dimes to Danny Dollars. You combine his mobility with the league-leading rusher and a ferocious defense, and the Colts look ready to star in a new Disney Plus show called “That’s So Ravens.”

No way Baltimore would be more than a field-goal dog to an (admittedly good) Rams team coming off a gutting last-second defeat against the Eagles that was somehow even more brutal to the bettors who backed them (Adele performing songs by Korn would have been a more likely cover). So, final question, why the hell are the Colts getting 3.5 points on Sunday? I can’t wait to find out.

(Photo of Daniel Jones: Johnnie Izquierdo / Getty Images)