John says his addiction harmed his relationship with his three children and contributed to the break-up of two marriages.
“It took me years to seek help.
“For so long I lived in chaos. There was the deceit, the lies, the manipulation of friends to lend money for my addiction. All I really thought about was gambling,” he says.
Even as a teenager in the 1980s, John remembers changing out of his school uniform to go to the bookmakers at lunchtime, using his dinner money to bet.
Then with the later advent of mobile phones, he says “everything in my life was gambling-related”.
“As soon as I woke up in the morning, I’d pick up my phone to check to see if I’d won or lost the night before,” he says.
Eventually after depression and suicidal thoughts, John turned to his GP in March 2024 for help and was referred to the newly established NHS East Midlands Gambling Harms Service., external
He says this was a “massive step” where he took part in group therapy sessions with other gamblers and one-to-one sessions with psychologists.
“I was buzzing. This was my fresh start and they really helped me to understand why I did this stupid thing so often.
“They helped me understand why I gambled and the triggers.
“If I had money on pay day I’d want to gamble with it. If I lost money I’d want to gamble more to recover it – it was a vicious circle.”