Therapists make a living helping people understand how stress builds and why certain behavioral patterns make it harder to feel calm. Yet they’re only human, so they still need to be deliberate about how they manage stress in their own lives.

We spoke with several mental health professionals about the habits that inadvertently wear them down. By paying attention to how certain routines affect their mood, these therapists are able to steer clear of things that ultimately drain their energy. Here’s what they do instead to reduce stress and feel more grounded every day.

Liz Ross, PhD, clinical psychologist and founder of the Coping Resource Center

Chloë Bean, LMFT, somatic trauma therapist based in Los Angeles, California

Madhuri Jha, MPH, LCSW, psychotherapist and clinical advisor at Psych Hub

Kristen Plake, LCSW, social worker and founder of Frontline Wellness Group

01 of 08

Forcing Calming Rituals

Calming down is not always as simple as we hope, and some attempts to relax can unintentionally keep the stress cycle going. “When it comes to stress, many of the things we do to feel better actually keep our bodies stuck in a cycle of stress,” says Liz Ross, PhD, clinical psychologist and founder of the Coping Resource Center. “Telling yourself to relax often spikes tension. It turns calmness into a performance goal, which activates more stress.

Ross tells her clients to try not to stress about how stressed they feel. “Often, the implication that you are stressed, and that this stress is causing more problems, does not help the situation,” she says. “It merely makes you feel powerless and more worried.” Instead of forcing calming rituals that make you feel frustrated if they don’t work, focus on acceptance over control. “Notice sensations (“my chest feels tight”) without judgment, and ground through gentle breathing or observing your surroundings,” Ross says.

02 of 08

Criticizing Yourself

No matter how you try to regulate your emotions throughout the day, the one habit that can work against you the most is criticizing yourself. “Trying to think your way out of stress and finding fault often amplifies it,” says Chloë Bean, LMFT, somatic trauma therapist based in Los Angeles, who encourages her clients to focus on something concrete instead, like a shallow breath or clenching hands.

When critical thoughts pop back up about your mood (or even the thoughts themselves), Bean says to gently notice areas of the body that feel less tense or even pleasant to bring back some regulation. Remember, no judgment—a theme many therapists echoed. “Bonus points for noticing items or objects or sounds that feel grounding outside of yourself to bring you to the present,” she says.

03 of 08

Binging Comfort Foods

No one is saying you need to give up all your favorite snacks, but a little moderation goes a long way. “Often when we feel stressed, we will reach for comfort foods to help us cope,” says Madhuri Jha, MPH, LCSW, psychotherapist and clinical advisor at Psych Hub. “These foods can have things that are bad for us, like sugar, high fat content, or caffeine, and these things, in excess, can actually have the opposite impact on your cortisol than stress reduction.”

When we aren’t eating a mostly healthy diet, Jha says your body works harder to digest everything and your cortisol levels can increase, which stresses your system. “I tell patients to consider a treat day regularly scheduled a couple times a month, so it normalizes that these foods and drinks don’t have to be things we only reach for in an emergency.”

04 of 08

Numbing Your Body

Numbing can bust stress in the moment, but it can become a habit where people simply disregard what’s actually happening in their body. “I never rely on numbing strategies like drinking to ‘unwind,’” says Kristen Plake, LCSW, social worker and founder of Frontline Wellness Group. “These offer short-term relief but disconnect us from our emotions and prevent real decompression.”

Plake thinks a healthier alternative to body numbing is mindful engagement. Some examples: “Doing one thing at a time that genuinely soothes or restores you, whether it’s a walk, journaling, or simply sitting in silence,” she says, adding that the goal isn’t distraction; it’s reconnection.

She also urges her clients to never ignore their body when it signals overwhelm. “Our culture teaches us to push past physical symptoms (tight shoulders, fatigue, irritability) as if they’re inconveniences. But the body is our earliest stress detector. Paying attention to those cues allows for early intervention, like stretching, stepping outside, or grounding exercises before burnout escalates.”

05 of 08

Nonstop Scrolling

Who doesn’t love a brain-rotting session of scrolling when you wake up or before you go to bed? Well, this habit isn’t doing your long-term stress any favors. “The blue light, constant novelty, and emotional content on your phone keep your nervous system alert, even when you’re trying to relax,” says Ross. “Instead of winding down, you’re reactivating stress pathways.”

Whether you’re doom scrolling, engaging in comparison culture, or getting sucked into a fear algorithm, your fight-or-flight survival response is likely getting activated. Instead, Ross suggests creating a tech buffer of 30 minutes before bed or between tasks. “Replace scrolling with something sensory, such as stretching, music, or journaling. These activities signal safety, not stimulation.” If that doesn’t work, ask yourself: “What am I looking for when I reach for my phone? Is it connection, distraction, emotional release, or something else?” Once you understand why you do it, Ross says the “what to do instead” becomes clearer.

06 of 08

Multitasking

Multitasking can give you a sense of accomplishment, but it’s a habit that usually isn’t sustainable for the long haul. “Jumping between tasks overstimulates your brain, making it harder to focus and rest,” says Ross. “You feel frazzled and overwhelmed, like you have 20 open tabs on your internet browser. Instead of getting through your to-do list, everything feels started but unfinished. It also reinforces the belief that slowing down and taking your time is unsafe or lazy.”

Breaking this habit takes practice, but it starts with choosing to focus on one task at a time. Work in short, sustainable blocks, then take short, mindful breaks. “Efficiency improves when your brain can fully engage and then reset,” says Ross.

07 of 08

Staying Busy

This next habit isn’t so much about how many tasks you do at once but how many tasks you cram into every 24-hour period. “I never try to push through or ‘outrun’ stress by staying busy,” says Plake. “Many clients of mine fall into the trap of believing that by merely completing their checklists, they can keep anxiety at bay. In reality, the body never gets the signal that it’s safe to rest, keeping the stress response activated.”

So, make sure you’re building in revitalizing pauses. Plake says this could look like literally taking 30 seconds to slow your breath, unclench your jaw, and feel your feet on the ground. “These micro-moments of regulation are small but powerful cues to the nervous system that it’s OK to exhale.”

08 of 08

Skipping Breaks

Multiasking and staying busy are two work-related habits that can add to our stress, but even if you go slow and take it one task at a time, you still need breaks (even if they’re short). “When we fill each gap in our time with doing, we miss the body’s natural cues for recalibration and rebalance. We ignore the body’s signals that we are at capacity,” says Bean. “Forcing yourself to power through tells your body it is not safe to rest. Instead, if time doesn’t allow a break, practice short, intentional pauses or resets.” Productivity techniques like the Pomodoro Method have built-in breaks that balance doing and resting in a more sustainable way.

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