Kaylee Muthart is today celebrating her 28th birthday and it is approaching eight years since the young woman gouged out her own eyeballs while screaming a disturbing sentence
Liam McInerney Content Editor
10:25, 02 Dec 2025
Kaylee Muthart is celebrating her 28th birthday (Image: SWNS)
A young woman yelled six haunting words before finishing the disturbing act of ripping out her own eyeballs outside a church.
Kaylee Muthart celebrates her 28th birthday today (December 2). And while she lives with an inspiring sense of optimism, she will be celebrating her big day without the ability to see.
That’s because she permanently lost her sight aged just 20, when she attacked her own eyes in what was a meth-induced psychotic episode. The former straight A student believed the gristly act would bring her closer to God and save the world.
The youngster, who had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, was days away from being checked into rehab after her mother raised concerns for her daughter in February 2018. Kaylee, who aspired to go to college, went down a dark road after smoking a joint that was laced with methamphetamine.
According to reports, the day she became blind came after taking a high dose of meth, which coincided with a gut wrenching breakup and a mental breakdown.
She has been incredibly open about her tragic journey (Image: Alexander George / SWNS)
Still high, Kaylee wandered towards a church on February 6, when she began hallucinating. She would later write in Cosmopolitan how she was struck by the thought that she must “sacrifice something important to save the world”.
Kaylee, who lives in Florida, added: “I thought everything would end abruptly, and everyone would die, if I didn’t tear out my eyes immediately. I don’t know how I came to that conclusion, but I felt it was, without doubt, the right, rational thing to do immediately.”
Soon, she was gouging out her own eyeballs in her meth-induced delusion, and a nearby pastor heard her screams. As she was making herself blind, she yelled six haunting words: “I want to see the light!”
By the time Kaylee was restrained, her eyeballs were already out, and she was rushed to hospital where surgery was performed to remove what was left.
She finds comfort in her Christian beliefs (Image: Alexander George / SWNS)
Kaylee now remains a devoted Christian and she has demonstrated courage since losing her sight. She went to blind school and finished her high school diploma before mastering skills like braille and technologies that help her communicate.
The American also went to rehab and got clean and she spoke with this reporter about what her life may have looked like if her self-mutilation never happened.
Kaylee said: “That is the one thing I ponder a lot. I try not to think too deeply about it but I guess it does happen. I was probably thinking about that last night. But I guess when I open the window or crack the window for my cat in the morning, I wonder what it looks like out there.
“So when I open the window and stuff I think maybe God will help me see everything I have missed one day. I would like to see my loved ones get older, see what colour my cat is, I got him after I went blind.
Kaylee now wears prosthetic eyes (Image: Alexander George / SWNS)
“It’s like, imagine someone explaining to you what a character on a TV show looked like. They could tell you all the different attributes but until you look at them you will never know, you just won’t.
“Because I have seen before, my mind will not accept not seeing. They are called visual hallucinations and I kind of think of that as God not letting me be in the darkness. Even when you are blind it is not dark. I visualise like silhouettes of what I think is there. If I reach for it and it is incorrect it will change like that.
“It is weird to explain but I know what I am talking about because I have seen before. I get nervous trying to explain it because I think nobody will know what I am talking about given how I lost my sight.
“Will they think I am crazy?”
Kaylee now wears prosthetic eyes and she also revealed that being blind was somewhat of a “blessing” because it makes relapsing almost impossible, and that ultimately, being blind was more appealing than being hooked on drugs.