(Credits: Far Out / YouTube Still / Public Domain)
Wed 10 December 2025 1:00, UK
During a concert about ten years ago, Billy Joel paused briefly between songs to ingest some throat spray from a tiny bottle, declaring to the crowd, “I saw Madonna use this once”, before delivering the punchline, “It didn’t help her much”.
Taking a shot like that at Madge in the 2010s was already a low blow well past its due date, but it’s possible that Joel had a legitimate, longstanding beef with the ‘Queen of Pop’, dating back to their days at the top of the charts.
In the spring of 1990, specifically, Madonna released one of the best-selling singles of her career and a now timeless club jam, ‘Vogue’, complete with one of the most iconic videos from the last golden age of MTV, directed by David Fincher, no less.
On the surface, there was nothing remotely Billy Joel-ish about this particular work of art, but as survivors of this time period may recall, the ‘Piano Man’ was riding high at the same time with one of his own MTV mega hits, the not-quite-so-timeless ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire‘, so not only did the ‘Vogue’ video ultimately beat it out for ‘Best Cinematography’ at the 1990 MTV Video Music Awards, but Madonna had also effectively proven that she was far superior to Joel at rapidly listing off the names of dead famous people in her lyrics.
Despite the success of his song, Joel had been widely ridiculed by critics for using ‘We Didn’t Start the Fire’ as a sort of simplistic, four-minute history synopsis of the headline events of the past 40 years, culminating in ‘the Cola Wars’. The song would have been nice as a rhyming Wikipedia entry about the 20th century, but comes off a bit hollow as a song, with no real political point or emotional core.
(Credits: Record Sleeve)
Madonna, by contrast, was trying to create a worthy anthem for her LGBTQ+ fans, honouring a subculture she’d admired since her days as a club-going girl in the early ‘80s.
While she would later be accused by some of cultural appropriation, at the time, ‘Vogue’ effectively brought the world of voguing to the mainstream for the first time. Rather than listing off a bunch of random historical figures in her song, she was also careful to name-check specific revered fashion icons, mainly silver screen idols of Hollywood’s golden age, who fit into that scene’s ideal of class, sophistication, toughness, rebellion and independence.
If you don’t have the third verse of the song committed to memory, let us jog it for you.
All 16 celebrities that Madonna mentions in ‘Vogue’:Greta Garbo: Swedish-born legend of early Hollywood, known for her magnetic screen presence and roles in Ninotchka and Camille. Marilyn Monroe: The ultimate Hollywood icon, star of Some Like It Hot and Gentlemen Prefer Blondes and singer of ‘Happy Birthday, Mr President’.Marlene Dietrich: German-American film star of the ‘30s, celebrated for her androgynous style, smoky voice, and performances in The Blue Angel and Shanghai Express.Joe DiMaggio: New York Yankees baseball legend and pop-culture figure, forever linked to Marilyn Monroe and, loosely, to Mrs Robinson.Marlon Brando: One of the most influential actors of all time, known for A Streetcar Named Desire, On the Waterfront, and later The Godfather.James Dean: Cultural icon whose brief career, including Rebel Without a Cause, East of Eden, and Giant, and fatal car crash cemented him as a symbol of youthful angst.Grace Kelly: Hollywood star turned Princess of Monaco, beloved for films like Rear Window and To Catch a Thief and for her impeccable style.Jean Harlow (“Harlow, Jean” for the rhyme scheme): A 1930s screen siren known as the original ‘Blonde Bombshell’, starring in classics like Dinner at Eight and Red-Headed Woman before her untimely death at 26.Gene Kelly: Actor, dancer, singer, and choreographer whose athletic grace made hits out of Singin’ in the Rain and An American in Paris.Fred Astaire: The embodiment of elegance in motion, famed for his legendary dance partnership with Ginger Rogers and his groundbreaking choreography.Ginger Rogers: Astaire’s most famous partner, “she did everything he did, backwards and in heels”, and an Oscar-winning actress known for her versatility.Rita Hayworth: 1940s superstar and pin-up idol whose sultry performance in Gilda inspired Andy Dufresne to crawl through a river of shit.Lauren Bacall: Film noir icon recognised for her smoky voice, sharp wit, and unforgettable chemistry with Humphrey Bogart.Katharine Hepburn: One of Hollywood’s most acclaimed actors, known for her fierce independence, sharp intelligence, and a record four Oscars.Lana Turner: Glamour queen of MGM’s golden age, discovered as a teenager and later known for The Postman Always Rings Twice.Bette Davis: Larger-than-life star famed for her intense performances in Jezebel, All About Eve, and What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?, she was more famously name-checked in another song.
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