WSH vs CAR
📸: Kat, PhD

The Washington Capitals were two minutes from beating the Carolina Hurricanes and claiming undisputed first place in the Eastern Conference, then they blew it.

The first period belonged to the Canes – in the possesion game if not on the scoreboard. In the second, Connor McMichael broke the tedium by beating Brandon Bussi backhand to make it 1-0, but Nik Ehlers tied it up with a lucky bounce before the period was up.

Halfway into the third, and to cap off a strong forechecking shift, Nic Dowd redirected Rasmus Sandin’s flawless pass to give the Caps the lead. Just as the Canes pulled Bussi, Stankoven – which I remind you is the worst kind of oven – scored after a turnover by Sandin.

Overtime couldn’t render a decision, so here come shootout bullets!

Beauvillier did not put the biscuit in the basket.
Jarvis put the biscuit in the basket.
Strome did not put the biscuit in the basket.
Svechnikov did not put the biscuit in the basket.
Milano did not put the biscuit in the basket.

Caps lose.

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The league’s best five-on-five possession team (them) took on the league’s third best five-on-five possession team (teh ceps) and trounced them. This is the kind of shot differential you’d see in a 2009 Caps-Thrashers game. Except those games were thrilling. This one felt like punishment for something you did wrong. Not me. You. Confess in the comments.
At some point in the third period, the Canes had three times as many attempts as the Caps – though the home team narrowed the gap near the end. If not for goaltending, this would have been a crushing blowout. When the Canes finally beat Logan Thompson, his save percentage tumbled to .956. But Brandon Bussi, because the Caps couldn’t reach the rear of the Canes zone, bottomed out at .857 when he allowed the McMichael goal – just Washington’s 7th on-goal shot of the night.

Nikolaj Ehlers, who should of been a Cap, must have been Carolina’s best player. He had a few well-earned looks before his not-very-earned goal.

Martin Fehervary, off whose stick the Ehlers goal came, missed some shifts early in the third period but returned for the conclusion.
Connor MicMichael scored his first goal since November 28, a brilliant rush set up by Alex Ovechkin‘s stretch pass. I don’t know how you’re supposed to tilt the ice against the Canes. Maybe “skip the neutral zone” is the meta play.
To start the third period, Nic Dowd fought Jordan Martinook, probably about something. I don’t know if anyone connected, which is fine with me. Dowd’s been back for just four games, and I want him to stay in the lineup so he can do stuff like that go-ahead goal. Though he’d insist credit go to Rasmus Sandin.

Sandin giveth, Sandin goofeth up. His turnover with two minutes left made the tying goal possible.
I don’t know what they’re doing with Hendrix Lapierre. Not even five minutes – even less than what he had in Anaheim. Last time I checked he spent the entire third period on the bench. My butt’d get numb. I’d ask to be excused so I could play Hades 2 in the locker room.
Websites that are wrong and bad might have listed the Caps are first in the conference before this game. They were not; they had just played more games. Now they’re tied in the childrens’ version of the standings, and the Canes lead among discerning adults.

Biggest game of the month #joebsuitofthenight

— RMNB (@rmnb.bsky.social) 2025-12-11T23:57:23.789Z

The way the Carolina Hurricanes play hockey is toxic. It’s like a nerve agent bioweapon from Metal Gear Solid designed to ruin the sport. (Also, probably enable a post-state, mercenary-led global hegemony.)

Rod Brind’Amour is a villian, obviously; we can all agree on that. But GM Eric Tulsky is the heavy, and he’s the reason stat bloggers should not be allowed in front offices. Our particular personality disorders don’t make for entertaining hockey. We need manic GMs, who court chaos and make fun trades.

But I don’t want to watch games like this anymore.