Expect Your Tariff Rebate on February 31

Santa is confused. “Only two dolls and two pencils? Funny, I remember carrying a heavier bag last year.”

Fred Squirrel corrects him: “It’s just your imagination. Things are cheaper, thanks to the tariffs.”

And Bert Squirrel adds, “Expect your tariff rebate on February 31.”

Oh, February doesn’t have 31 days? And your bank account seems a little lighter?

Well, like Tiny Tim observed, “God bless us, everyone,” because no one else will.

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Gode Yule, Holy Solstice, Io Saturnalia and Festivus for the Restivus.