Dany Ciara, formerly married to Tim Lambesis, has publicly detailed a series of allegations regarding her relationship with the As I Lay Dying frontman during a nearly four-hour appearance on the Brutally Speaking podcast. 

Throughout the interview, Ciara described what she characterized as a rapid courtship followed by infidelity, escalating emotional and physical abuse, coercive behavior, and efforts to discredit and silence her during and after the marriage. The episode was framed by podcast host Jon Beatty as a survivor discussion rather than a confrontational or investigative interview. 

Ciara’s account represents the most comprehensive version of her allegations to date.

According to Ciara, the relationship began after she contacted Lambesis through Instagram as a longtime fan of As I Lay Dying. She said the connection escalated almost immediately, with Lambesis traveling to meet her shortly after they began speaking.

Ciara said that within weeks she had uprooted her life, traveling with Lambesis to California and marrying him in Las Vegas during the drive west.

“We started talking to each other through Instagram and that same day when I first messaged him, he told me he’ll fly out to wherever I am to meet me.”

“We got married two weeks after meeting each other. And so what had happened was he flew to where I lived to meet me, and then I went back to California with him to see where he lives, and he showed me a little bit of his life. And then after that, we came back here and packed up all my stuff and drove to California. And on the way to California, we both were joking, but not joking, about getting married in Vegas. And we just ended up doing that.”

She described the early phase of the relationship as intense and euphoric, marked by affection and attention that she later came to see as unsustainable.

“It just felt like I was on such a cloud nine and feeling like I can’t believe that, like, this is too good to be true, which it was.”

That period, Ciara said, ended roughly six months later when she discovered Lambesis had been unfaithful. She described the moment as emotionally devastating and unlike anything she had experienced before.

“I still remember it. It was on March 14th. We got together in September. So I just remember it was on March 14th, six months after we’d gotten together. And I just remember that was the worst day of my life.”

Ciara said she believes the infidelity was not isolated to their marriage but part of a broader pattern she now sees across Lambesis’ past relationships.

Despite the discovery, Ciara said Lambesis framed his behavior as stemming from unresolved trauma and expressed a desire to work on the marriage. She said she chose to stay, believing the relationship could be repaired.

According to Ciara, the period following the infidelity became the most volatile phase of the relationship. She described being pressured to process the betrayal on a timeline she says was dictated by Lambesis, with her emotional distress framed as an attack on him.

“He wanted me to heal in the time frame that he felt was acceptable. He couldn’t handle days on end where I would have all the ranges of emotion. I would be angry, I’d be depressed, crying. I would not want to talk to him, not want anything and feel. I’d feel disgust. And these are like normal things you would feel after getting cheated on. 

And that wasn’t acceptable to him. That caused a lot of the blowups between us because he would say I was torturing him by being in a bad mood for a long period of time or that I was just like generally like this awful, negative person. And he’d make comments to me like, ‘You know, you won’t have the capability to heal and your timeline for healing is abnormal compared to most people.’ 

He even told me that like cheating hurts him more than it would the average person. And I don’t know what that means. I don’t know how anyone else has reacted in the past, like infidelity, but I just felt like it was a way to shame me. ‘The past is the past,’ is something he’d always say too.”

She said these conflicts eventually escalated beyond verbal arguments and described what she characterized as physical violence and intimidation, along with extreme mood swings she attributed to steroid use. Ciara emphasized that publicly known incidents represent only a portion of what she says occurred.

Ciara also described what she characterized as a system of surveillance inside their home. She said cameras were installed and later used against her through selective editing that removed audio and context from recorded arguments.

“He had shoved me and took the phone from me. He took this video and he muted it. He took the audio out so you couldn’t hear that I was actually screaming at him, that I knew that he was cheating on me.

So I just looked like this absolutely crazy fucking person without any context.”

She said the edited footage was then distributed to members of As I Lay Dying from an email account she claims Lambesis created while posing as a third party, portraying himself as the victim in order to sway the narrative against her and in his favor.

“So he’s trying to figure out to keep the band together. And he thought by showing everybody that he’s being abused by me, that it could keep As I Lay Dying together. And obviously everyone knew that it was him sending this email out.

It was forwarded to me and I read it. I immediately knew it’s him. It’s the way he talks. And I confronted him about it. He later admitted to sending that email and said he’s trying to just salvage his career.

And that was basically the end.”

One of the most serious allegations raised during the interview involved what Ciara described as AI-generated pornographic material found on Lambesis’ phone. She said she discovered images she believes were either generated by him or knowingly saved, including material she described as depicting AI-generated sexual content involving a minor and an adult.

“There was a time in our relationship where he was into making AI pornography on his phone”

“I didn’t even know what to say. I texted him and I was like, what the fuck is this picture? So it’s a picture he generated, and even if he didn’t generate it, he saved it to his phone as is, and it was a picture of—these are AI, by the way—a kid, like, erect making out with an adult woman.”

Ciara said the discovery permanently altered her sense of safety and trust in the relationship.

She also made allegations involving her pets, describing them as another source of control.

“When he was mad at me, he would take it out on my dogs. He would let my dogs outside to punish me and let them escape. And we had coyotes everywhere. I’m so lucky that nothing happened to them.”

She claimed that he offered $20,000 to get rid of her dog. 

“He offered me $20,000 to get rid of her. And I think it was because he was just jealous of how much I loved her, but he didn’t like her for some reason. I love my dog more than anything in this world.”

“The video where he’s hitting my dog Scrappy. He’s making comments on Instagram and Facebook and stuff about how Scrappy would on shit the couch and that’s why he did what he did. But that’s not true at all. That video of him hitting and kicking my dog. He did that because he’s an asshole. And because he was abusive to my dogs, not because the dog shit on the couch. I just wanted to clear that up.”

Ciara said Lambesis frequently involved his family, particularly his mother, in disputes, which she believes contributed to a narrative that undermined her credibility and painted Tim as the victim.

She also shared evidence of police being called to the home over and over, often by neighbors.

“One of the things that I think is really important to talk about is how many times the police had showed up to our house in response to domestic violence calls. And most of those came from like the neighbors calling the police. And I have never had to deal with police for relationship issues ever in my life before this.”

Following the end of the relationship, Ciara said she spent a year largely isolated, focused on recovery. She also claimed that a music project she developed under the name Hellborn was taken and potentially reused after her departure.

She said she chose to speak publicly now to reclaim her narrative.

“I just want to speak my truth and move on with my life. I’m not gonna back down to him. I’m not gonna be scared anymore.”