DEAR MISS MANNERS: If someone donates to an online campaign to finance an expensive, but potentially life-saving, surgery for an acquaintance, friend or family member, and then — while the beneficiary is under the knife — he at last receives approval from his health insurer for coverage of the surgery, which had until then been denied, is it good manners, or even ethical, for the beneficiary to donate the campaign donations to a nonprofit of their choosing? Even if the beneficiary has mentioned in his plea for funds that any extra would go to said nonprofit?
GENTLE READER: Well, he did warn you.
The scrutiny of any future requests, Miss Manners believes, is what will really hurt him — and the rest of your circle — the next time a lifesaving surgery is needed.
If your rightful indignation will allow you to say it politely, you could mention this to him. Just be prepared for pushback and the assurance that the money will go not only toward his worthy nonprofit, but also for his recovery. Which you can then only hope does not take place at a lavish seaside resort.
(Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)
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