I’m 60, my adult daughter lives with me and I regularly give her money. Am I doing too much?

A growing number of parents continue to financially support their children well into adulthood, and it’s reshaping family finances and relationships.

A new report from Savings.com found that, for the first time, 50% of parents with adult children provide at least some financial support, up from 45% in 2023 (1). The trend highlights how rising housing costs, student debt and everyday expenses are keeping many young adults financially tethered to their parents for longer than past generations.

What often gets lost in the data is how these arrangements actually play out in real life — especially when parents are nearing retirement and balancing multiple relationships. Financial assistance that appears manageable on paper can have emotional effects, especially when partners are involved.

Imagine this scenario: William is a 60-year-old man who has $1.5 million saved in his 401(k). His home is paid off, and he plans to retire at 65. His adult daughter lives with him rent-free, and he regularly gives her money to help her invest and build savings. Financially, he can afford it — but his partner, who lives separately, says he’s doing too much.

Is she right?

Parental support doesn’t always mean handing over thousands of dollars a month. Often, it’s quietly covering groceries, a phone bill, insurance or rent during a tough month. But those costs add up. According to the Savings.com report, parents now spend an average of $1,474 per month on adult children, a three-year high (1).

Several factors may contribute to this increase. Housing costs remain elevated in many markets (2), wages haven’t kept pace with inflation, and younger generations often carry more student loan debt than their parents did at the same age (3). At the same time, about one in three adults ages 18 to 34 live with their parents, according to the U.S. Census Bureau data (4).

For many families, helping an adult child feels like the natural choice, but there can be tradeoffs. More than 60% of parents said they’ve sacrificed their own financial security to support adult children (1). In some cases, the help has no clear end date — about 18% of parents said the support could continue indefinitely.

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Those ongoing commitments can create hidden risks, such as:

Delayed or limited retirement: Even modest monthly support can reduce flexibility once income becomes fixed. Larger gifts can limit your ability to save for retirement.

Strained partnerships: Differing views on financial boundaries can create resentment between spouses or partners.

Dependency concerns: Well-intentioned help can unintentionally slow a child’s progress toward independence by providing a ready-made safety net for poor decisions.

Ultimately, how much support is “too much” is a personal decision, but it deserves honest conversation and clear guardrails. As flight attendants remind passengers, put on your own oxygen mask before helping others. In financial terms, that means ensuring your retirement isn’t compromised by providing financial support to your adult child.

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In this situation, the answer is nuanced. Financially, William appears to be on solid footing for retirement. With a paid-off home and substantial retirement savings, helping his daughter is not immediately jeopardizing his future. That said, retirement changes the math. Once regular paychecks stop, every dollar carries more weight.

Rather than stopping support altogether, the smarter move may be to recalibrate the help.

One approach is to set clear limits and timelines. Support that’s open-ended can quietly become permanent. Agreeing on how long assistance will last or what milestones signal a reduction can protect both finances and relationships. For example, when his daughter saves enough to buy a house or pays off her student loans.

Another strategy is to shift from cash handouts to structured help. For example, tying support to specific goals, such as matched savings contributions or investing in education, can encourage independence rather than reliance.

It’s also worth asking a key question: Is this helping move my child forward, or keeping them comfortable where they are? If support replaces motivation to earn, budget or plan, it may be enabling poor financial habits.

Finally, serious and long-term partners need to be part of the conversation. Even when the money is technically available, shared financial goals and expectations matter. If you see your partner as part of your golden years, make sure they are part of the conversation about how you’ll navigate that period financially. Agreeing on boundaries and expectations can prevent long-term resentment.

Supporting an adult child isn’t inherently a mistake. But as retirement nears, consider pairing your generosity with transparency and a clear plan for both generations.

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We rely only on vetted sources and credible third-party reporting. For details, see our editorial ethics and guidelines.](https://moneywise.com/editorial-ethics-and-guidelines).

Savings.com (1); Joint Center for Housing Studies (2); Education Data Initiative (3); United States Census Bureau (4).

This article provides information only and should not be construed as advice. It is provided without warranty of any kind.