By Robert Scucci
| Published 16 seconds ago
Confession time. When I first saw the title Johnny Skidmarks after firing up Tubi for my usual helping of unhinged and obscure cinema, my immature eighth-grade brain thought I was about to get into another disasterpiece like Buttcrack (my review here). I thought this even though the 1998 film’s cover clearly has tire tracks on it, referring to an entirely different kind of skidmark. You know, the kind from a car.
If you’ve been reading my reviews for any length of time, you know full well that I’ll click play on just about anything in hopes of finding hidden gems that may have been overlooked when they were first making their rounds. What truly sold me on Johnny Skidmarks was John Lithgow, whose back catalog I’ve been slowly working through because he’s just so good at playing a man who can keep it together right up until he absolutely cannot.
While Lithgow delivers one such performance in Johnny Skidmarks, the real appeal is the film’s mystery itself, which revolves around blackmail, murder, and what I consider to be the perfect amount of comic relief in the form of Jack Black reliably acting like Jack Black without overdoing it.
The Humanity Of It All
Peter Gallagher stars as Johnny Scardino, though he’s known among his peers as Johnny Skidmarks due to the nature of his work. Johnny is a crime scene photographer, and more often than not his assignments involve fatal car wrecks so authorities and insurance companies can process the paperwork and close their cases.
As a side hustle, Johnny also works as a blackmailer, and his operation is surprisingly simple. Prostitutes are hired to seduce influential people at a seedy motel, which allows Johnny and his crew to burst in, snap incriminating photos, and use them however they see fit.
Johnny is clearly on the verge of burnout from the gruesome images he encounters on a daily basis, which prompts Sergeant Larry Skovik (John Lithgow) to remind him to think about the humanity of it all. That approach doesn’t register with Johnny, though, as he’s become so desensitized to death that he barely views the subjects of his photos as people anymore.
The Burger Connection
Outside of work, Johnny lives a solitary life following his wife’s death. He spends much of his free time at Happy Burger, owned by his former brother-in-law, Jerry (Jack Black). Jerry dispenses sage-like advice largely because Johnny appears to be his only regular customer, and one of those bits of advice leads Johnny to strike up a conversation with Alice (Frances McDormand) when she stops in for a bite. The two hit it off almost immediately, which is unfortunate timing, because Johnny soon realizes he’s in serious trouble. The blackmailers he’d been working with up to this point start turning up dead in increasingly brutal fashion.
To make matters worse, Johnny is routinely called in to photograph these crime scenes himself. Since no one knows about his extracurricular activities, he’s forced to document the aftermath of murders that may be directly connected to him. Knowing he could very well be next, Johnny finds himself in an impossible position. He can’t go to the cops without exposing his illegal side business, and he can’t confide in Alice, who comes from generational wealth and may very well be connected to the powerful figures he’s been extorting this entire time.
Jerry, meanwhile, grows frustrated that Johnny is spending more time with Alice and less time with him, leaving Johnny without a single person he can fully lean on for support.
Late 90s Quirk, But Plays It Surprisingly Straight
At the end of the day, Johnny Skidmarks plays like a neo noir crime thriller with a sharp comedic edge. Much of the humor comes from the story’s inherent absurdity, while Jack Black pops in at just the right moments to deliver his familiar energy without overpowering the narrative.
It’s a well-rounded mystery with a third act twist that’s further elevated by Peter Gallagher’s consistently deadpan reaction to the chaos unfolding around him. His restraint does a lot of the heavy lifting and keeps the film grounded even when things get strange.
Johnny Skidmarks isn’t a groundbreaking genre entry by any stretch, but it’s a serviceable and often funny thriller that likely slipped through the cracks upon its initial release. If you’re looking for a solid 90s flick to pass the time and pick up a few genuine laughs along the way, Johnny Skidmarks is currently streaming on Tubi for free as of this writing.