Great news for all those authors with major publishing deals, screenwriters with multiple movies made out of their scripts, or award-winning poets in our audience: At long last, you can finally live the dream of ditching all that prestigious mental craft in favor of babysitting the word-vomit of a plagiarism machine built by the most incurious human beings to have ever graced the planet. And for a cool forty bucks an hour, to boot!
This is per a new job posting from Elon Musk’s xAI that’s been making the rounds on the internet this weekend, as numerous users have mocked the insanely inflated job requirements being asked for a “Writing specialist” for the Grok-birthing endeavor. Because, for a group of people who we can only assume hate the written word with a dull, rote passion of almost endless endurance, these people sure do want their candidates to be ridiculously qualified. (For a job that, as far as we can tell, boils down to “fix AI text when it sounds bad and find new crap to feed into it.”) Get a gander, for instance, at the requirements being asked for the “Creative writing” specialty of the posting:
For prose fiction writers–At least two of the following: (1) verified novel publishing deals with major houses (e.g., Big Five); (2) novel sales >50,000 units (excluding free promotions); (3) 10+ short stories in major outlets (e.g., The New Yorker, Clarkesworld); (4) major awards recognition (e.g., Hugo, Nebula finalist or comparable); (5) critical acclaim (e.g., starred reviews in Kirkus, Publishers Weekly, features in Library Journal or NY Times Book Review).
For screenwriters–One or more of the following:(1) verified “written by” or “screenplay by” credits on at least two produced feature films distributed by major studios, networks, or streaming platforms (e.g., Warner Bros., Netflix, HBO, Disney); (2) “written by” (or equivalent) credits on 10 produced half-hour or one-hour episodes aired on broadcast TV or cable networks, or having achieved an aggregate of 10 million views on streaming services like YouTube; (3) nominations, wins, or finalist placement for major screenwriting awards (e.g., Academy Awards, Emmy Awards, WGA Awards, Nicholl Fellowship).
And while the requirements for other positions don’t go quite so far as “Show us your Oscar to prove you’re qualified to fix our robot’s linguistic babble,” they’re still pretty stringent, with a huge focus on awards, credits in major publications, and advanced degrees. The subtext of all this, near as we can tell, is that everyone involved in writing such a job posting knows that the entire project of their careers is the eradication of human expertise or talent as a trustable resource, so the only thing they can actually cling to, so as not to get hoodwinked by their own brand of tool-assisted mediocrity, is a call for the most overstuffed resumés imaginable.
If nothing else, the job posting contains at least one genuinely laugh out loud segment, right at the end, when it lays out the qualifications for the listing’s “Poetry Writing” specialist. After asking that applicants serve up advanced degrees, a history of both publications and awards, and “mastery of a wide range of traditional forms,” the listing adds a “Special note”: “If your publication record is primarily free verse, please do not apply, as the position requires a deep understanding of classical forms and poetic techniques.” Ya hear that, Walt Whitman? Your body might be electric, but the machine’s too good for you and your Leaves Of Grass!