There are reliable reports that a prospective new owner of the Twins is about to be revealed. It has taken some digging but I’m now willing to state the Twins are about to wind up in the hands of Matilda Phelps.
That would be the young, belligerent and greedy granddaughter of Rachel Phelps, the owner of the Cleveland Indians in the 1989 film “Major League,” and the godmother of a right-sized payroll.
What will make this sequel different than a couple of others is that it will be a documentary, starting with the events of July 30-31, 2025, when the previous owners — the Pohlad family — put the Twins in a situation for future payroll commitments that would have thawed the cold heart of the aforementioned Rachel Phelps.
As with all documentaries, they can’t truly follow all the characters precisely from a scripted original. Example: Twins manager Rocco Baldelli is only 43 years old compared to Lou Brown, the crusty baseball veteran running Cleveland’s mythical 1989 ballclub.
Then again, with three rambunctious and very young kids running around when he’s at home, and now being forced to summon Cole Sands, Justin Topa, Michael Tonkin and Kody Funderburk as late-inning pitchers in a tight game rather than Jhoan Duran, Griffin Jax, Louie Varland and Brock Stewart — well, Rocco could offer a striking resemblance to Lou Brown by the end of August.
Another contrast is that it only cost the Twins one-third of what was owed him to get rid of Carlos Correa, their vastly overpaid, living off past glories, know-it-all infielder. And the frustrated Rachel Phelps — she couldn’t give away Roger Dorn.
It’s not often that reality can imitate art, but Correa and Roger Dorn are the same clubhouse character, right down to Correa’s suggestion it has been his goal to move to third base, Dorn’s position.
And on Thursday night, after dismembering their bullpen and giving away other big-leaguers, these Twins did exactly what Rachel Phelps would have done in 1989: Put the replacements on a bus from Toledo to Cleveland.