Photo-Illustration: by The Cut; Photo: Getty Images
This story is part of Crushing Out, a theme week exploring how to survive — and even enjoy — infatuation, limerence, and plain old butterflies.
Janelle James always has a crush. “I’m a Libra,” the Emmy-nominated Abbott Elementary actress and comedian explains. She is currently in the midst of a U.S. stand-up tour, culminating in the taping of her first one-hour Netflix special in Chicago at the end of April, and collecting more crushes along the way, obviously. “I think it’s healthy to have crushes and flirt and all of that,” James adds. “I love the play of it all, but nothing crush or love-related ever stops me from making money or pursuing my goals, I think that’s most important.”
We all know James as Principal Ava Coleman, her first leading acting gig and a key player of the Abbott Elementary ensemble. Ava is a character whose self-obsession and fabulous aloofness has deepened over nearly 100 episodes, and these days, she’s closer to someone who actually does care about her employees and students. “Ava’s growth and her arc has been great for me as an actor,” James tells The Cut. “I never anticipated playing all of these levels in one role, especially a sitcom. That’s been a great testament to the writing.”
James’s vision board is packed with ideas for what’s next, but she tells us there’s always time for a little dating — it’s something she actually enjoys, even in an increasingly transactional landscape where rosters and situationships seem to have replaced earnestness. “It’s okay to be a human being and have feelings,” she says. “Yeah, you might get hurt! Just don’t get an STD, don’t get pregnant, don’t fuck up your money, and live to date another day.”
What is the most Ava Coleman thing about you?
I’m pretty confident. I think her confidence is a little put on in certain ways. The most similar interest I have to Ava is her interest in everything. She’s lowkey a nerd and a geek and I am too. I like to read, I like to tinker. I have 50 million hobbies, I’ve had 50 million jobs. We’re both hustlers. I think that’s what I identify with most, being able to make something out of nothing and using all those interests to her advantage.
What else is on your career vision board?
I want to start a band. I play drums, and I just started playing bass. I really love music. I used to DJ, I’ve dated many musicians. I like having things to do outside of work, you know what I mean? As far as work, I’ve started back in stand-up again, which was my entry into this side of the business. I’d love to tour big, like a theater tour and be known for being the best at it. Like Ava, I want to do everything. I want to be in a rom-com, an action movie, some drama, some weird shit, some Charlie Kaufman-esque type movies and show different sides of myself, of which there are many.
What’s your No. 1 rule for dating?
I actually like dating. I know “everybody’s miserable.” But everybody I date is supremely vetted before they even get me alone. So I always date friend-adjacent or someone I’ve been circling for a while. That takes some of the angst out of it. I like finding out about people and their ethos, and if the guy is cool, then it can be a fun new experience. I don’t have any rules. Just be cool. It’s not that serious until it is.
It sounds like finding vetted dates might be your rule?
That’s just how it’s worked out! I haven’t dated a complete stranger in a really long time. I’m not on the apps or anything like that. I’ve never responded to a DM. So yeah, I guess that would be the rule.
How do you feel about initiating?
I approach men. You approach, you let them know you’re interested, then you fall back. Then they approach you and it makes them feel like they chose you. It’s a whole thing. And if you get rejected, so what? It’s just a man. Competing for dates? At the end of the day, your prize is a man, so you gotta be chill about it. [Laughs]. One of my favorite sayings is: A crush is just a lack of information. If I approach and get rejected, it’s like, I didn’t know you five minutes ago, and I could go back to not knowing you. As far as I’m concerned, that never happened. So what am I even sad about? That’s your ego, that’s not true rejection.
Do you believe in having a roster?
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it, but I’m a relationship person. I think it’s amazing that people can find multiple people they’re interested in at once. I think usually there’s one you really want and then two that you’re using as a distraction. I don’t have any judgment on it, I just think that’s so hard to find and maintain. I don’t have time for that!
Do you think it’s okay to ghost after one date?
I kind of fade, I’ve never ghosted anybody. I think it’s cruel, especially if they’re expressing real interest. Unless they were a creep or you feel unsafe, then definitely ghost them. If it’s just, Oh, it didn’t work out, I think it’s cruel to just not respond. And you don’t know if they’re a person that then spirals into, I think something happened to you.
What’s your No. 1 rule for advice giving when it comes to friends and their relationship woes?
I give all the advice that I don’t listen to myself. I’m Judge Judy when it’s time to tell people what to do, I love it. [Laughs]. Do they listen? That’s up to them. I’m just a fan of living life, so even if my friends don’t listen to me or go against what I said and it doesn’t work, whatever. You razz them for a minute.
What’s your No. 1 fashion rule for a first date?
Depends what we’re doing, depends what I want to do after…What’s the build up? How long have we been chatting about this date before it happens? Do I know you, because maybe I need to be able to move quickly at the end.
What is your No. 1 rule on the set of Abbott Elementary?
Let’s keep the vibes up. I want everybody to be happy. I want everybody to be laughing. I don’t like working in any tense environments. I don’t like working, period. So if I’m working, the vibes got to be right. I’m a jester in my own life so I’m talking to everyone, I’m hugging everyone, I’m kissing babies. I’m like, running for mayor every day. I’ve realized that if my mood is off, everybody’s mood is off. I take that responsibility seriously.
What’s your No. 1 rule for meeting other famous people?
I approach people very sincerely. If I’m excited to see you, I’m gonna tell you. If you’re somebody that I’m not that excited about, that’s what you gonna get too.
Do you have any rules around posting on social media?
I’m aware that everything I post as myself affects the whole ecosystem of my job. Our ensemble supports 100 people on the crew, they support their families. So that’s new, being a little bit more cautious. And not just that but the climate. Oh man, it’s not fun anymore. If I’m not having fun, just like everything else, I don’t want to do it. So I’m trying to find a middle ground of being myself, which is always trying to have a good time and make people laugh, and coming from a sincere place, and watching myself to not be misinterpreted or affect not even my job, but everyone else’s. Sometimes it’s late you fall asleep with your phone on your chest, and you wake up to all these notifications. You’re like, what did I do? So that still happens, because I’m a human being.
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