The billionaire CEO decided an L on the tennis court wasn’t enough, so he doubled down on X.

PublishedJuly 12, 2025 4:55 PM EDT•UpdatedJuly 12, 2025 4:55 PM EDT

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If anyone has ever had the fantasy of having so much money they could do whatever the hell they wanted, you’re not alone.

Billionaire CEO Bill Ackman recently acted on those fantastic impulses and played in an actual sanctioned doubles tennis match with ATP pro Jack Sock.

It went about as well (or maybe even better) than you would expect, with Ackman and Sock losing 6-1, 7-5 in straight sets.

Of course, the tennis media had a field day, taking Ackman to task and calling the stunt “the biggest joke… in professional tennis.”

Ackman, who wasn’t about to take that criticism lying down, fired off a series of posts on X defending his decision to take part in the match, and ended it with an absolute dozy of a take.

Oh, Billy Boy!

As far as examples of intense coping go, this is up there with the best of them.

I can’t believe this man actually said the match was harder because the professional tennis players were “clearly holding back.”

First of all, no kidding!

Of course they were holding back, as evidenced by the fact that the scoreline wasn’t 6-0, 6-0.

And second of all, you want us to believe if these lifelong tennis pros had just started teeing off on you that you would’ve played better because you would have had less time to think?

I have to hand it to Ackman. My mind is in a pretzel right now!

He could have just gracefully taken the L, both on the tennis court and in the court of public opinion, but this man decided to double down and get roasted for a second time in less than a week.

Who knows, maybe public humiliation gets him off. Who am I to judge?

The comments are overwhelmingly pro-Ackman, which means he probably paid for some good pub, but I spied a few bangers that slipped through the cracks.

What will our amateur tennis star do next?

I look forward to his debut in the fall as a slot receiver for the Jets, right up until Matt Milano rocks him into an alternate dimension for trying to run a shallow cross through his zone.

Then we can see if he was right about professional athletes making it harder by taking it easy.

Good luck, Mr. Ackman! I am rooting for you!