6 Hrs Ago
–
FOR addicts, the struggle to break free can be a lifelong battle.
American poet Benjamin Alire Sáenz has urged those fighting these internal demons to take it one day at a time: “If you can quit for a day, you can quit for a lifetime.”
Gambling addiction, classified as a disease by the World Health Organization, has ruined many lives. The lure of the addiction warps all logical thinking, as the prospect of financial reward overwhelms the gambler. The disorder affects the person’s employment, finances, opportunities and ultimately, their family life.
The latter is often overlooked, but when the gambling addict is the main breadwinner in a family, it can cause tremendous distress and trauma to everyone in the household.
Sherry Pierre, administrator at the TT National Council on Alcoholism and Other Addictions, said there is a misconception that addiction affects just the individual who is hooked.
“It’s a family disease,” she said.
Prime Minister Kamla Persad-Bissessar on July 7 said the government intends to tackle addiction by bringing legislation to increase the legal age for gambling to 25, 21 years for alcohol use and 25 for marijuana use.
In an interview with Newsday on July 8, Gloria (not her real name), described her childhood as hell owing to her father’s battle with gambling and alcohol addiction.
–
“My earliest memory of it was probably around six or seven, when I heard my parents arguing about it. It was an argument that seemed to have no end in my childhood,” she said.
Gloria, now in her thirties, said there were days when there was no food on the table because her father had lost all his money.
“We had little to nothing, despite my father being a skilled tradesman. People would come looking for him for specialist jobs, and I remember I used to feel so proud that he was being sought out for this type of work – until people started to look for him because he had taken their money and never completed the job.
“He would work all week and at the end of the week, come home and claim he had been robbed, he hadn’t been paid – the excuses were endless.
“He was also alcohol-addicted, so he would come home to us, all of us hungry and desperate for some good news, and tell us these outlandish stories about why there would be no food that night.”
She said his problem caused tremendous friction in the home, and his relationship with his wife became toxic.
Resentment towards him began to build in her heart too.
–
“We had no Christmases or birthdays. I hated public holidays, because everyone else would have get-togethers and parties or go to the beach or a million other things a normal family would do, and we never could.”
She said her father, because of the nature of his trade, would ask for advance payment from clients –and then gamble and drink it away. She vividly recalled hearing people shouting his name outside their home as they came to get their money back.
“We learned very quickly not to come outside if we heard someone calling to him, and we would hide inside until they left. A lot of times, he was hiding inside, too…My siblings and I carry the weight of that shame.”
He would even take her and another sibling to the bar to elicit sympathy from other people, saying he had to take care of them on his own and needed money.
“We sat in that bar for hours while he gambled…It was one of the worst days of my life.”
Gloria said they did not have a TV or even electricity for a long time.
“He has been confronted over the years by my mother and many other family members.
“It never did any good, though, as he would become defensive and argue. He always refused to get help, saying he had no problem.
“I always wonder what type of life my siblings and I would have had if it weren’t for his addiction. He ruined our lives and took away opportunities for education, leisure and our ability to have a good childhood.
–
“Even as an adult, I don’t disclose to people that I am his daughter, because I’ve heard way too many stories from people who lent him money that he gambled away.”
She said she and her father are estranged, and most of his children “don’t acknowledge his existence any more.”
She believes more should be done to help people grappling with addiction.
“There is a lot of talk about helping people, but no real avenues for assistance.”
She has a gripping fear of gambling and casinos because of how she grew up.
“I play cards, but for fun. I think the gambling culture is disgusting, and far too many people fall victim to this.”
Echoing Pierre, she said: “It doesn’t just affect the person gambling, but everyone in their lives.”
She commended the PM for her decision to impose a higher age limit for gambling and drinking alcohol, and urged bar owners, casino operators and others to enforce it strictly.
“I think there should be even stricter regulations on this industry.”
Women addicted to gambling too
Pierre said there is definitely a gambling problem in TT, as the National Council has had to adjust its services slightly to cater to the requests for help. They do an initial assessment of the person and the situation and follow it up with counselling, either online or in person.
Founded in the 1970s, the organisation was initially called the National Council on Alcoholism. She explained why its name was changed.
“For the last couple of years, people barely call us with regard to that (alcohol). Since way back, let’s say from 2018, the calls that would come to us were mainly related to gambling.”
A rehabilitation group was also started to help those afflicted. That rehab programme, she said, would last approximately six-eight weeks and would include a mental health specialist.
She said based on their statistics, alcohol addiction is affecting more men than women –approximately three to one. However, when it comes to gambling, there is no gender disparity.
“Women have more money now, and they hang out with their girlfriends on a Friday and a Saturday and whatever, but for the most part, you would say that in terms of alcoholism, it is mainly the men.
“However, this is the difference with gambling. With gambling, it is almost one-to-one. The women are just as bad as the men – it’s equal.”
The addiction is destroying men and women’s lives., she said
“There’s an underground activity with it, because they are borrowing to support their habit. They take their money for their mortgage and whatever – they use it out.”
She recalled the council supporting someone who was in financial difficulty owing to gambling and was exhibiting suicidal tendencies. She said they were assisted and eventually stabilised. However, a couple of weeks later, their electricity was cut owing to non-payment of the bill, leading them to be depressed once more.
Pierre stressed that people who recognise they have an addiction and even their relatives must seek help as early as possible. She said the financial, physical or emotional burden caused by having a loved one suffering from addiction can take its toll.
“They have to reach out for help.
“Every kind of addiction is a family disease. It affects everybody. They also need to seek out counselling or accompany the person.”
The council welcomes the government’s latest move to tackle addiction.
“That will protect the young people, because the younger they start, the more likely they will be addicted. We applaud the move.”
If you or a loved one are addicted to gambling and need help, call the TT National Council on Alcoholism and Other Addictions at 627-8213/757-8213 or Lifeline (800-5588).