SCARY MOVIE
Released: June 4, 2026

Director: Michael Tiddes
Starring: Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Anna Faris, Regina Hall, Damon Wayans Jr., Gregg Wayans, Kim Wayans, Benny Zielke, Cameron Scott Roberts, Cheri Oteri, Chris Elliott.

Upon its release 26 years ago, the first Scary Movie changed cinema experiences by debuting a unique and hilarious approach to film making with tongue-in-cheek parodying of iconic horror and slasher flicks, done in such a comedic way, it took the world by storm.

I can still vividly recall cinema staff vetting punters at the entry, checking IDs, to make sure underage kids weren’t sneaking in to witness the crude humour, violence, drug and sexual references on display.

‍Scary Movie 2 was just as loose, proving the Wayans were more than a one trick pony… and then it all started to go downhill (and fast) when the money hungry white men of Hollywood took control of the series with 3, 4 and the INCOMPREHENSIBLY unwatchable Scary Movie 5, which consequently buried the franchise for good back in 2013.

Or so we thought.

The OGs: Dave Sheridan, Marlon Wayans and Anna Faris

Fast Forward to 2026 and for some diabolical reason, Scary Movie 6 (titled SCARY MOVIE) was greenlit, with the vast majority of the OG cast returning for yet another spoof which tried to take aim at modern horror hits, reboots and remakes such as Scream 5, Scream VI, Halloween, Ma, Sinners, Get Out, Smile, M3GAN, Weapons, The Substance and Terrifier…

Initially, I was excited to see the movie back in the hands of the originals, but to be completely honest, this should never have made it past the pitch.

Now, you might think I’m rambling like a mad person here, but this movie was so poorly executed, it would be an insult to computer science to say it was conceived by AI… Hell, I’d even go as far as saying they should have chucked literal pieces of shit attached to plot points at the wall to see what sticks.

Shorty should just Get Out… of here.

In teasers and promos for this mess, we were promised that ‘Every Line Would Be Crossed’, but the majority of the best “jokes” were shown in the various trailers and outdated COVID references felt so foreignly out of place. Meanwhile, feeble throwback gags to the original fell so flat, chances are you may just die of second-hand embarrassment.

Take for example the once goated character, Shorty (Marlon Wayans), conceiver of the infamous “wazzzzup” catchphrase (which I guess was our generation’s “6-7” and yes, they crowbar that in as well). This time around he’s tiring to watch as he attempts to stay relevant by leaning on the quips that once made him a household name back in the day. Gay Ray (Shawn Wayans) was more confusing than a Straight Pride Parade, while Gail Hailstorm (Cherie Oteri) and Doofy (Dave Sheridan) were migraine-inducing. As for Officer Greg Phillippe (Lochlyn Munro) and his baby dick… well, let’s just say it comes up short.

With the new cast, you’d be forgiven for thinking actress Olivia Rose Keegan was forced to watch the first four films and simply told to do her best early-2000s Anna Faris impersonation; and look, I’ll give her points for trying, but I’ll be happy to never see this portrayal again. As for Savannah Lee Nassif and Cameron Scott Roberts? Next question.

The new breed: Olivia Rose Keegan, Cameron Scott Roberts and Savannah Lee Nassif

About halfway through I thought to myself ‘I can’t wait to leave’ and I definitely would have, had I not stupidly planted myself in the middle of the packed cinema – which for the majority of the screening was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. In its defence, there were at least three or four laughable moments, but as the saying goes, if you put glitter on a piece of shit, it’s still a piece of shit. Sorry not sorry.

At multiple points during the movie, I cringed so hard I thought I was going to have an aneurysm.

Given the success comedic “legacy” leads, Anna Faris and Regina Hall, have both had post-Scary Movie, I’m genuinely interested to know if they enjoyed the making-of process, or if they were eagerly anticipating the bags of money waiting after filming concluded – the latter also being an overused in-joke brought up no less than three or four times throughout the duration of this monstrosity.

Anna Faris and Regina Hall return (for some reason) in SCARY MOVIE.

I feel obligated to say this was by far one of the worst “comedies” I’ve had the displeasure of watching, but at least it wasn’t as woeful as Scary Movie 5… not that that comparison means anything.

It is time to put the SCARY MOVIE franchise to sleep. With a pillow pressed firmly over its face.

Rating: -1/5

Review by Paul ‘Browny’ Brown @brownypaul