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Monica Barbaro (far right) as Allie in “One Night Only.”Nicole Rivelli/Universal Pictures

When Allie asks about Arya’s decision to not go carousing, she replies that gay people have been flouting society’s laws since before the Bible. They’re still hooking up on a regular basis. Arya’s comment makes no sense, because in this universe, if you do have sex on any of the other 364 days of the year, a Wi-Fi transmitter embedded in your wrist will call the cops on you, and you’ll be arrested.

So, how exactly is Arya getting around this? What is the sentence for repeat offenders? Since the anti-sex sensor reacts to dopamine, does it go off if you’re practicing the onanistic art of self-abuse? And why is the horny, filthy-mouthed 12-year old male nerd Arya’s baby-sitting the only believable character?

Callum Turner and Monica Barbaro in “One Night Only.”Nicole Rivelli/Universal Pictures

When a movie is as poorly constructed and uninvolving as this one is, all you can do is ask questions. As a romantic comedy, “One Night Only” fails because the leads have more chemistry with other people than each other. The film keeps them apart for long periods of time so they can engage with those other people. While comedic separation is a staple of the rom-com, it’s usually designed to make you long for the next scene between the potential lovebirds. Here, you hope they stay apart.

It’s a shame because Allie is quite fetching and personable, with a killer singing voice. At her job, she sings commercial jingles redone as spoofs of popular songs. Barbaro received an Oscar nomination for playing Joan Baez in “A Complete Unknown,” so it’s a pleasure to hear her sing. Even if she’s forced to belt out Air Supply’s syrupy ballad, “All Out of Love” with bad boy motorcycle head Max (Andrew Burnap), one of her potential suitors.

Callum Turner as Owen in “One Night Only.”Nicole Rivelli/Universal Pictures

Compared to Max, Owen is a charisma-free dolt. Before the big Meet Cute between him and Allie, he’s on a date with his girlfriend of three years, Skye (Maya Hawke). She informs him over a huge sushi dinner that she plans on sleeping with their neighbor. (Blink and you’ll miss who’s playing the lucky guy.) When Owen meets Allie, he pukes up all that sushi on the sidewalk. How romantic!

Like Skye, Allie wants nothing to do with this loser, but we’re stuck with a story that desperately tries to earn laughs from their mishaps. At one point, Allie and Owen engage in a battle for the last condom in New York City. The battle is mildly amusing thanks to Roma Maffia’s cameo as the quintessential Noo Yawk corner store owner. But the scene reminded me of Jamie Foxx’s 1997 film “Booty Call,” a superior — and far raunchier — comedy about missed hook-up opportunities and the search for a condom.

Rick (LeVar Burton) and Linda (Molly Ringwald) in “One Night Only.”Universal Pictures

The supporting characters are more interesting than Owen. Molly Ringwald shows up as Owen’s mother, Linda. He runs to her for comfort after being dumped, only to find that she’s spending free sex night with his co-worker, Rick (LeVar Burton). I have to admit that I laughed when I saw the star of “Sixteen Candles” and the host of “Reading Rainbow” getting bizzy while covered in bubble wrap, if only because I hadn’t thought of using it that way before.

Ringwald’s appearance here makes sense, because “One Night Only” would be right at home on a movie screen in 1984. Its ideas are outdated and, for a movie about casual sex, it’s shockingly puritanical. Even worse, its old-fashioned ideas about romance and sex in relationships would make a Doris Day movie look like “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.”

Monica Barbaro as Allie.Nicole Rivelli/Universal Pictures

The film is dishonest in other ways as well. Another potential suitor for Allie, anti-sex-mandate protest rocker Ezra Strong (Charlie Gillespie) drags Allie onstage at a private party so she can conquer her fear of singing in front of crowds. Director Will Gluck stages Allie belting out “Only You” as a triumphant moment, with the crowd holding up lighters and sending her love. Then, we discover that what we’ve seen is only a figment of Allie’s imagination. “One Night Only” repeatedly pulls this tired, cheap “it was only a dream” stunt, making you distrustful of anything you’re seeing.

Familiar New York locations like the White Horse Tavern, Electric Ladyland Studios, and the lighthouse under the George Washington Bridge made me smile, as did Barbaro, who deserved better. I remain immune to Turner’s charms, but if you’re a fan, you might find something of worth here. However, if I were you, instead of dropping cash on “One Night Only,” I’d take its advice on how to spend August 7.

★1/2

ONE NIGHT ONLY

Directed by Will Gluck. Written by Travis Braun. Starring Callum Turner, Monica Barbaro, Molly Ringwald, LeVar Burton, Andrew Burnap, Charlie Gillespie, Quintessa Swindell, Maya Hawke. At AMC Boston Common, Landmark Kendall Square, Alamo Drafthouse Seaport, AMC Causeway, suburbs. 102 min. R (it’s one big coitus interruptus joke)

Odie Henderson is the Boston Globe’s film critic.