Financial advisors often default to a prescriptive mode: Do this, don’t do that. Just sign here. It goes with the role.
Clients have their own prescriptive voices, too. I’ve had many individuals come to me with a list of “shoulds.”
But who is helping clients find what they want?
New research shows that women report strong confidence in their giving purpose, but fewer have a well-developed giving plan. But the Great Wealth Transfer is already underway—and it’s poised to make women major philanthropic stakeholders.
Research from Women, Wealth & Faith also suggests that advisors play a significant role in shaping women’s financial confidence and well-being. We, as advisors, can and should do everything possible to help women become effective givers.
Effective giving is deeply personal. It starts with a client’s desire to give, not a sense of abstract obligation. It is essential, especially when advising women, that we shift away from prescription and into discovery.
I saw this firsthand with a second-generation CEO of her family business. She knows what she values, what she wants to build. The family’s advisors are in the room, speaking to her father and her husband. Not to her—even though she is the primary driver of the business and its giving strategy.
I finally asked her in front of her team, “Why do you want to build it this way?” Silence. One of the advisors turned toward her and waited. Strategic alignment began at that moment.
Advisors who ask women about their values help clients close the gap between purpose and implementation, a gap recent Women, Wealth & Faith research suggests many women are actively trying to navigate. When your female client is part of a couple, this discovery process serves the whole family.
As women increasingly influence family wealth and philanthropic decisions, advisors who know how to facilitate values-based conversations will be better equipped to build trust across generations.
There are a few universally applicable concepts I’ve used in my values-alignment work over the years.
First, help clients differentiate between foundational and operational values.
Foundational values are the ones we build our lives on—they are our “givens.” Consider foundational values the “root.” For example, empathy could be considered a foundational value. But “empathy” itself is a bloated category. It leaves too many options on the table as clients develop their giving plan.
Operational values are the unique way we move our foundational values out into the world. Consider operational values the “fruit.” A value like productivity or creativity can be blended with your foundational values. This combination of foundational and operational values brings both root and fruit to a giving strategy.
Second, build your contextual listening skills to bridge the purpose and planning gap by clarifying your own foundational and operational values. Then ask someone close to you to share theirs. Listen for similarities and differences. Listen for nuanced definitions even when discussing the same foundational value. Then, incorporate this experiential listening into your client listening.
This means knowing that you can bring in a third-party facilitator to help when the values conversation gets complex and verbal weeds start taking over.
Third, prioritize your relationships with clients above all other priorities as their financial advisor. You aren’t here solely to optimize their giving or wealth management. You are here to stand beside them, human to human, and offer them strategic structure.
Most importantly, leave “should” behind. Listen closely as your clients discover what they could do—and then help them do it.