This week’s episode begins with a twist. Despite vacationing on a luxury yacht, Bronwyn spent the night sleeping on a pool chair on the deck rather than spending the night having to share a bed with Britani. Even the rain at 3 a.m. didn’t change her mind. To make matters worse, in the morning, that spot on the deck is within perfect earshot of where Britani and Lisa are downstairs. Sure enough, they’re talking about Bronwyn, and Lisa tells her that last season, Bronwyn had asked her to set up that meeting between Gwen and her grandparents.
Hoping that Mary will be just as good a friend to her as she was to an ailing Angie the night before, Bronwyn tests her luck at breakfast by asking if she could crash in their room. “No,” Mary says before she can even finish her sentence. “Two’s company, three’s a crowd.” It might just have been the most delusional question ever asked on Bravo, and leave it to Mary to shut her down with ease.
When Britani tries to encourage Bronwyn to just get over it and rejoin their room, Bronwyn similarly wastes no time rejecting the offer, saying, “I’m not interested in sleeping in a bed that maybe you brought one of the crew into.” She, of course, is referring to Britani’s valiant attempts to court Captain Jason and the rumors that he was spotted coming out of her room last night — but she clarifies (and the footage confirms) that he was simply fixing the air conditioner for her. The oldest trick in the book … foiled by those pesky Bravo cameras. To add to the humiliation, Lisa chimes in to put this all to bed by trying to get one of the crew to confirm that Captain Jason isn’t even into Britani.
Lisa doesn’t think it’s right that they keep dragging his name into things, which Bronwyn finds rich, given everything she just overheard from the top deck. The queen of talking about people behind their backs has an issue with them talking about someone behind their back — but Lisa, of course, rejects this comparison and denies saying anything out of order.
Angie then sees an opening. Notice how this is an artful volley around the table? It’s like a popcorn reading exercise where the whole class goes around in a circle, each taking a paragraph before passing it off to the next person. But Angie brings something brand-new to the table, saying that right after everyone made peace at Lisa’s clarity luncheon a few weeks ago, Lisa told her off-camera that Todd was making out with one of her hot friends “while farting the entire time.” There’s so much to unpack here. First of all, what is this show’s obsession with farting? For that, let’s turn to our gas expert, Mary Cosby, who in her confessional says, “If someone told me my husband was making out with someone and farting … I don’t know which one I’d be more devastated about.” Beautiful.
As for Lisa’s reaction, she basically confesses right away by clarifying that it wasn’t one of her friends and acknowledges that she never should have said it. She didn’t even try (nor did it seem like she had the ability) to lie and deny saying this, which makes me think she really wasn’t the one leaking information about Bronwyn’s court cases to bloggers. Look at how drastically different her reactions to those two accusations are — why would she deny one and cop to the other unless that was the truth? Lisa Barlow found innocent (by way of being guilty of something else)!
But how does Bronwyn react? As you’d imagine, not well. She blows up at Lisa, but she also tries to think about how Todd would want her to respond. She says that Lisa always has the ability to bring out the worst in her, but she thinks the best payback will be to not let it affect her and have a great day nonetheless. If Todd’s on one shoulder telling her to be cool, Angie’s on the other and tells her that she thinks the only way to win with Lisa is to snap back like she did and be stern.
Meanwhile, Lisa and Meredith have a separate conversation about whether or not Meredith’s been sticking up for Lisa enough this season. While Meredith maintains that she consistently has been, Lisa feels like she primarily does so privately and that she could use a little bit more support. Even so, Lisa is dancing around it, and it isn’t until Mary butts in to tell Meredith that she’s not supportive that things blow up. Mary calls her boring and essentially says she doesn’t have a story line, to which Meredith says, “I do a lot of very interesting things.” To me, the way Meredith pronounces words alone is interesting enough to televise, but I get where Mary’s coming from.
Back on the boat, and for no apparent reason whatsoever, Bronwyn decides that she and Angie should dress up in some of her trademark inflatable costumes. But it unfortunately seems as though someone has put a curse on Angie this trip, because as she tries to maneuver through the doorway as an inflatable seahorse, the door slams on her hand — leaving her wailing and bloodied.
Luckily, it’s at least on theme for their zombie-themed dinner that night. But you may be wondering … why this theme? Much like cast-trip destinations, there often is very little rhyme or reason to a Real Housewives theme party — so instead, production (and/or the women) are tasked with coming up with some shoehorned explanation. This time, Heather tells us it’s in honor of their penchant for always digging up dirt and resurrecting old feuds from the dead. Okay, sure! At least setting up for the party gives the crew something else to do besides dressing the women’s wounds and blow-drying their hair. And to think we’re only getting a small taste of what the crew’s been going through! We can still look forward to their side of the story in the Below Deck Down Under premiere in 2026, when we’ll be back on this trip yet again.
As they sit down for dinner in their zombie makeup/garb (some with real wounds and some with fake), Heather asks if anyone has checked in with their families, and Bronwyn mentions that she talked to Todd and Gwen — who didn’t necessarily love to hear about the farting and making-out allegations. She says her family is off-limits, and Lisa apologizes, saying that as of today she will never bring them up again in any capacity. This is meaningful progress, and to be fair, Lisa talked this shit to Angie before she had brokered peace with Bronwyn and did so off-camera. It’s still not great, but there’s something almost benevolent about the fact that Lisa was sitting on this and opted not to ever bring it up on the show. It’s almost kind. Also, it’s worth noting that throughout this exchange, Bronwyn has a toy octopus suctioned to her face.
With those turbulent waters somewhat behind us, the ones under the ship claim another victim, and poor Britani runs off to throw up over the side of the boat. You know it’s a successful cast trip when not one but two Housewives vomit on-camera. She returns to the table and immediately takes a sip of tequila, which catches Meredith’s eye. “Why are you drinking tequila when you just threw up?” she asks, and without hesitation or explanation, Britani just says, “’Cause I’m trying to feel better.” A perfect exchange, and one that continues on for quite a bit as Meredith tries to poll the group on who thinks that’s a good idea (Heather’s hand shoots up). But the best part was Britani subtly firing back with, “Are you the expert at vomiting?” — a gorgeously artful callback to last season’s dispute when she alleged to have overheard Meredith throwing up.
She also uses this as an opening to bring up a TikTok she saw that accused Seth of having a mistress — information that supposedly came out via an Uber driver he and this mystery woman once had. Naturally, Meredith completely denies this and says that Britani is only bringing this up because her own relationship is such a disaster. But this is when Britani truly shines as a hilarious addition to this cast, because she then tries to claim that she didn’t bring it up to be malicious; she just wanted to give Meredith a safe space in case she needed to talk about it. I have to laugh. But Meredith’s not laughing, and the back-and-forth escalates enough for Captain Jason, who was meant to join the women for dessert, to slip away from the table unnoticed.
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