I’m a woman with a male roommate. He has a weird habit when he leaves the bathroom.

How to Do It is Slate’s sex advice column. Have a question? Send it to Jessica and Rich here. It’s anonymous!

Dear How to Do It,

I am a woman with a male roommate who is perfect to live with, save one thing.

He thinks nothing of walking out of the bathroom naked to go back into his room to get dressed. This isn’t something that occurs all that often, as we have erratic schedules, nor is there isn’t anything lecherous about it either (he’s gay). However, I’m not crazy about seeing everything when it happens. Can I say something, or am I being uptight?

—Uninhibited Roomie

Dear Uninhibited Roomie,

In United States culture (at least), it is completely reasonable to expect that anyone you encounter in a nonsexual/non-relationship context will be clothed. If someone is comfortable with being nude casually, it is up to them to announce this to and confirm that it’s OK with anyone who might have them in eyeshot. There shouldn’t be surprises unless they are completely accidental (like, if your roommate thought he was home alone, but oops, wasn’t).

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You should have a say regarding the penises you get to see and don’t want to see, and your roommate is not letting you have that say. It would not be difficult for him to throw on a towel, nor would it be outrageous for you to ask him to. From a nudist’s perspective, this may come off as uptight, but the nudist’s perspective is hardly the status quo and makes no sense as a default unless otherwise discussed. Besides, in this situation, being penis-out is a graver offense than being uptight. The world is a less and less hospitable place for humankind; your home should be a place where you are comfortable 100 percent of the time, or at least as close to that as possible.

You’d be justified to say something, just choose your words carefully. You say he is perfect to live with, besides his lack of a fig leaf, so you don’t want to disrupt that harmony with tension or aggression. You can preface your ask with something like, “I don’t mean to embarrass or inconvenience you,” to soften things. Your ask shouldn’t require much explanation on your part, but if it does, tell him why you’d like him to cover up as simply as possible (something like, “It would make me feel more comfortable” should do the trick). He may be oblivious and not even realize the potential issue, which strikes me as ridiculous, but possible. If you take a matter-of-fact tone and focus on informing him, the conversation may be an easy one.

—Rich

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