Apparently, heterosexuality is now a breaking-news exclusive.
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When Jack Schlossberg — John F. Kennedy’s only grandson, climate crusader, internet eccentric, political hopeful, and the last surviving male twig on America’s most over-studied family tree — announced he was running for Congress, he surely anticipated scrutiny. This is a Kennedy, after all. The torch of Camelot doesn’t glow; it incinerates.
But even he couldn’t have predicted the first big headline that would dominate his campaign rollout:
JACK SCHLOSSBERG… COMES CLEAN ABOUT BEING STRAIGHT.
Yes. Straight. Somewhere, the ghost of Walter Cronkite gently weeps into his teleprompter.
To be clear, Schlossberg did not stage a primetime special titled My Truth: The Heterosexual Journey. He didn’t even blink dramatically for effect. He simply answered a question — calmly, briefly, and with the exact energy of a man confirming his Starbucks order.
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“People often wonder… I am very straight,” he said. Full stop. He mentioned he’d like to get married one day. Have kids. Live a normal life. The kind of bland, earnest future that barely registers as a plot point anymore.
And yet, in our current media ecosystem — where a candidate’s policy platform is skimmed, but their Spotify playlist can ignite a culture war — this mild clarification became clickbait gold. Suddenly a straight man confirming heterosexuality was treated like a revelation, a confession, even a twist.
Which raises the obvious question:
Why does a candidate’s sexuality still matter in 2025?
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Why does it become a headline? A discourse? A meme? Why are Reddit commentators squinting at his micro-expressions and analyzing the sociopolitical undertones of kayaking?
More importantly:
What does our fascination say about us — not him?
Because here’s the truth: Jack Schlossberg never pretended to be anything other than straight. The “speculation” wasn’t rooted in evidence. It was rooted in vibes.
He kayaks.
He takes ballet classes.
He has a dry, theatrical sense of humor.
His Instagram videos possess a very specific “I’ve watched Grey Gardens 20 times and learned nothing except how to commit fully” energy.
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Translation: he’s a man on the internet with a personality.
And in modern American politics, where the acceptable range of male candidate aesthetics still defaults to “corporate dad,” “sports-bar uncle,” or “senator who calls women ‘young lady,’” anything outside the template gets flagged as identity commentary.
We say we’re past obsessing over sexual orientation. We post about inclusivity. We quote inspirational graphics. And yet the moment someone breaks from the stiff-jawed, alpha-coded mold, the question emerges: “Is he…?”
The Kennedy mystique doesn’t help, of course. That family was built for mythmaking. Camelot trained America to expect glamour, drama, and a hint of unreleased Netflix documentary energy. The name “Kennedy” practically begs for projection — especially onto the last young male heir with a compelling jawline and an internet presence.
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But the headline — this breathless announcement that Jack Schlossberg is “very straight” — says far more about us than it does about him.
Because his sexuality shouldn’t matter. But it still does.
Politics is theater. Candidates are characters. And America loves a subplot — even one as painfully mundane as “Kennedy confirms he likes women.” Sexuality becomes shorthand for relatability, authenticity, imagined symbolism, or cultural alignment, even when it tells us nothing.
Which is precisely why Schlossberg’s response was, ironically, the healthiest part of the entire saga.
No grandstanding.
No mood-lit video.
No rainbow graphic or patriotic TikTok montage.
Just a calm, clear line — almost boring in its simplicity.
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If we genuinely want to move beyond obsessing over politicians’ sexual identities, we have to treat disclosures like what they are: trivia, not ideology. Personal detail, not political platform.
Jack Schlossberg isn’t running as “the straight Kennedy.”
He’s running as a Kennedy with ideas. With humor. With education. With environmental policy proposals. With a social-media presence that occasionally feels like performance art. With an actual campaign that deserves attention beyond vibes.
Whether we allow him to be a man with a platform, rather than a meme with a presumed orientation, will reveal far more about the electorate than it will about him.
And for the record, America:
We can all stop acting like heterosexuality is a plot twist.
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Rob Shuter is a celebrity journalist, talk-show host, and former publicist who has represented an A-list roster including Jennifer Lopez, Alicia Keys, Kate Spade, Diddy, Jon Bon Jovi, Tyra Banks, Naomi Campbell, Jessica Simpson, and HRH Princess Michael of Kent.
He is the author of The 4 Word Answer, a bestselling self-help book that blends Hollywood insight with deeply personal breakthroughs. Rob hosts Naughty But Nice with Rob, a Top-20 iTunes entertainment podcast, and previously served as the only dedicated entertainment columnist at The Huffington Post. A veteran of television, magazines, and red-carpet crisis management, he also led OK! Magazine during its most competitive era.
Rob’s latest exclusives and insider reporting can be found at robshuter.substack.com.
His forthcoming novel, It Started With A Whisper, is now available for pre-order