The Cherry on Top
Season 49
Episode 11
Editor’s Rating
1 stars
*
Photo: CBS
This whole boring, eventless, frustrating episode can be summed up by what happened at the immunity challenge. The seven remaining Survivors shuffle in, and Soph thinks she already has the challenge figured out. Jeff tells her to pretend she is him and introduce the challenge the way he would. She demurs, but eternal ham Steven takes up the mantle and starts explaining the challenge to Jeff. They’re going to be connected to a line and they have to put blocks spelling “IMMUNITY” on a spinning platform. Whoever finishes the word first wins. Steven does a decent Probst impersonation, but he doesn’t shout, “Wanna know what you’re playing for?” at the end, or say the word “balls” enough.
Of course they know what this challenge is: It’s a slight variation on one that has become popular the past several seasons where contestants are attached to a shaky desk and have to move the letters back and forth very slowly. It’s essentially the same except the blocks are spinning rather than rocking. Jeff, however, is trying to sell us something else. “You’ve never seen it,” he says about the challenge, gaslighting millions of people. “You don’t know how to do it. Do you take it fast and hope you can keep it together, or do you go slow and wait for someone else to falter?” Jeff, this is the same challenge. That’s like if we all showed up at our favorite restaurant but they had changed the tablecloths, and you walk in and the maître d’ is like, “Welcome to a totally new restaurant.” Girl. The décor, the menu, and the staff are the same. This is not new.
The challenge plays out just as predictably because the players have all seen it a million times before, so much so that they clocked it before even playing it. They all know that you have to go slow. No one even tries to hustle through the first four blocks and figures out they have to go slower. Steven is the fastest of all the slows, and Jeff is trying to make this look like it’s a nailbiter, like there is some tension, but there’s not. Steven’s blocks don’t even fall once, and he coasts to an immunity victory. I’ll have the salmon with a side of fries.
Something similar happened with Steven and his journey. Before the immunity challenge, a boat arrives at camp, and someone needs to take a “strenuous” journey. They are all being lazy, but Steven knows he is at the bottom and could use an advantage. He arrives on an island and has to run around its perimeter, collecting six numbers for a combination that will free a bludgeon, which he will use to crack a jar and gain an advantage. However, the tide is high and it’s holding on, to quote Blondie. If he doesn’t get back before the tide knocks the pot into the ocean, then he loses both the advantage and his vote. It’s an exciting setup, but Steven trucks through the challenge and arrives at the pot when there is still a good yard of rope left before it would have fallen into the ocean. It’s not even close.
When he gets back to camp, Steven doesn’t know what to say to everyone, so he just tells them that he won an advantage but doesn’t tell them what. Did he not think even for a second to totally lie? Say that he lost his vote and had nothing and used that information strategically. Everyone was gunning to vote for him. If he had drawn those votes and then used his advantage, which is a Block-a-Vote, couldn’t he have turned the tide and taken control in the game?
Anyway, it doesn’t matter because Rizo immediately figures out, essentially, what Steven’s advantage is. He says that it’s a Steal-a-Vote, the more powerful cousin of Steven’s new lover, Block. Just like with the immunity challenge, this kind of ruins the whole point. This is the problem with both casting superfans and failing to let the game evolve, change, and innovate quickly enough. We get slightly different versions of the same challenges, which players could, conceivably, practice at home. We have only a handful of advantages, and Rizo just had to go through the roster and land on the one they haven’t seen yet. What about giving Steven a whole new advantage? What if the advantage was just that he gets to keep his vote, so when he gets back and tells everyone that he didn’t get an advantage, they don’t believe him? What about they think he has an advantage because of that and then Soph uses her Knowledge Is Power against him and he legit has nothing and she’s shocked that he was telling the truth. That would be great TV. The only reason to have players who know the game so thoroughly is to subvert their expectations, creating surprise, new gameplay, and fresh dynamics. Survivor is no longer doing that. Jeff would rather it be so predictable that players can do a sound impersonation of him than keep the game fresh.
After Steven wins immunity, the strategy takes a boring turn. He was the favorite to go home, but that was thwarted both by his advantage and his win at the immunity challenge. He goes on a reward and takes Kristina and Rizo, who have eaten less than anyone. At the spaghetti feast, Rizo is afraid of Steven and Kristina, so he decides the best way to keep them from aligning with Sage and Sophie to get one of his trio out is to give them all a common enemy. That common enemy is Sophie. It is an excellent strategy and, as much as I hate to admit it, shows why the man, the myth, the legend, R-I-(puke)-G-O-D, Riz (vomit) god baby, should win this season and is essentially a lock for one of the mystery slots on Survivor 50. Actually, I take back my regurgitation. As annoying as I may find him, he is clearly playing the best game.
Sophie and Soph had previously talked about how they would get rid of Savannah if Steven won. Soph isn’t quite ready to flip yet, and neither is everyone else. Rizo convinces Steven and Kristina they have the votes to get Sophie out, and Steven decides that it’s better to hang onto his advantage for another vote, where it will be more powerful, and choose the easy, unanimous vote. The only remaining player is Sage, who has hated Savannah since they got on the beach together, but she is so pissed that Sophie flipped on her to get out her main ally that she’s ready to throw her vote at Sophie, too, but it doesn’t even matter. They have the votes.
I don’t know that this is the best gameplay for Sage or the others. Right now, there is a solid three with Rizo, Savannah, and Soph, a strong duo with Steven and Kristina, and two free agents in Sage and Sophie. Steven and Kristina (and Sage) should realize that if they want to take out the triumvirate, they’re going to need numbers, and Sophie, while she may not be trusted, is that number. She was the perfect pick for Rizo because she can flip-flop between sides, but one side needs her to flip-flop over to their side if they want to take power. Rizo’s plan is smart because it’s not only preserving his trio and his idol but also getting rid of a number against him. Steven may think he can use his Block-a-Vote at the next tribal and make it a three-two vote, but that assumes he has Sage, which he may not. Even if he blocks one of the trio’s votes, they could still shoot for him or Kristina with Sage’s help. It makes more sense to break up that trio now.
The generous part of me assumes that the conversations some of that trio are having about flipping on one another are having a greater impact than we can see from the edit. Maybe Sage, Steven, and Kristina think that Soph is serious about flipping on Rizo and Savannah, and that they don’t appear as tight on the beach as they do on our screens.
Even still, the end of the episode was such a drag, I half-expected RuPaul to pop out of a bush to declare that the library is officially open. Soph was doing some chatter about how she could vote with Kristina and Steven to get rid of Savannah, but we knew they weren’t doing that. All of the politicking was a waste. All of tribal council was similarly a waste except for Kristina and Savannah talking about how they openly hate each other, which is not the kind of sentiment we see in the new era very much anymore. There were still 20 minutes left in the episode, and we were all just scrolling through our phones, waiting for Sophie’s name to be called. It was the same challenges, the same advantages, the same gameplay all the way through, and all I want isn’t new tablecloths — it’s a whole new eatery.
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