Well, my fellow Cowboy State Daily contributor Mark Heinz and I gathered on the southern slope of Lander this Groundhog Day, to see whether Lander Lil, Wyoming’s famed gargantuan prairie dog, would see her shadow.

We forgot why, though.

What’s winter, again?

We have no idea.

A few things about Lander Lil, though:

She’s a really good cougar detector.

Not as good as the average Wyoming guy, in a bar – but you know – still good at finding those cougars.

She’s also super dense. Just like your mom!

And you can tell she’s from Lander and not Riverton, because she can’t spit very far.

(How embarrassing.)

Mark proceeded to tell Wyoming how not to fry up a prairie dog. For example, they’re super greasy, so you want to use an oil with a high smoke point and not bacon grease.

This confused me so hard I almost lost my footing in the wind. I thought Mark was going to talk about how local business people came up with this great idea for a prairie dog statue in front of the Lander post office – where a real prairie dog town once sat.

You know, until some good ol’ boys got a few high-caliber rifles and some Tannerite and blew them to smithereens.

Local artist Bev Paddleford sculped Lander Lil, and there she sits today, a picture of Landeresque refinement in the rising February sun.

When the sun rose Monday behind an ominous, Colorado-shaped cloud, Lander Lil did not see her shadow. And we all know what that means:

Ten more years of election campaign season!

I asked Mark whether Lander Lil is smart enough to run for office. But then we both decided it does not matter.

What are we doing here again?

Here’s wishing a great February to you, Wyoming. Keep it Western.

Anyway, maybe after this we’ll have to see if Casper Planet is hiring.

Mark says they’re not hiring prairie dogs.

They are hiring cougars though.

 

Clair McFarland can be reached at clair@cowboystatedaily.com.