SEATTLE — Seattle is set to erupt in celebration as the Seahawks bask in their Super Bowl LX victory.
The team, led by Coach Mike Macdonald, will parade through Downtown Seattle, and fans are eager to join the festivities. However, Sergeant Patrick Michaud of the Seattle Police Department has issued a crucial advisory for those planning to attend: leave your cars at home.
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In a spirited message, Sgt. Michaud emphasized the challenges of driving into Seattle during the parade:
“DO NOT. I REPEAT, DO NOT DRIVE INTO SEATTLE TOMORROW.”
He painted vivid scenarios of traffic gridlock and parking nightmares, urging fans to rely on public transportation instead:
Scenario 1: The Optimist
“You leave your house at 6 AM. “Beat the traffic!” you laugh. By 7 AM, you’re stuck on I-5, barely moving and, heads, up, you have only reached the Tacoma Dome. By 9 AM, you’ve aged 10 years and consumed enough Starbies to float a Super-class ferry. You finally find a parking spot in Tacoma. You then realize you’re going to miss the Shaheed appearance because you’re currently three zip codes away.”
Scenario 2: The Strategist
“You meticulously plan your route, studying traffic maps and WSDOT alerts. You arrive in Seattle feeling like a genius, only to discover that every street has been mysteriously transformed into a pedestrian zone full of navy and Action Green jerseys. Your car is trapped in a never-ending loop of “one-way street” hell while Mafe and Williams are already halfway through the parade route. You emerge from your car at sunset, blinking, having seen nothing but detour signs.”
Michaud advised that the Sounder & Light Rail are the transit champions, highlighting the efficiency of Seattle’s transit options over the chaos of driving.
“Please, for the love of Blitz, leave your car at home. Let’s make this parade as smooth as Macdonald’s defensive scheme,” he said.
The department also provided a rough visual graphic of parking likelihood around Seattle: 4th and its side streets are completely blocked off, Belltown and First Hill are “Good Luck,” and everything beyond that is marked “Are You Sure?”
KOMO News has compiled a comprehensive list of the parade-bound public transit options available across Puget Sound, including light rail information and bus routes.
Sgt. Michaud also stressed the importance of safety, reminding attendees to leave guns at home to prevent theft from vehicles.
Officers will be present in bright yellow vests to assist with directions and ensure a smooth celebration.
As the Pacific Northwest prepares to honor the Seahawks’ triumph, Sgt. Michaud’s message is clear: embrace public transit and enjoy the parade without the hassle of driving. Go Hawks!