“People keep asking me when I’m going to do a ‘Real Housewives of Boston,’” he said in a 2020 episode of his talk show, all inner smirk, as he put guest Rachel Dratch through a fake screen test while she drank pinot grigio from a bottle through a straw and barked out retorts in thick Bostonese.
In reality-focused circles, the “whyyyyy not Boston?” wail has been picking up steam as the franchise sets seasons not only in recognized hotspots like Miami, Atlanta, and New York, but also in locales (Potomac, Salt Lake City) that are obviously not as important as we are.
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With disbelief boiling over a few years ago, Reddit user poohbear1025 made a pitch to any Bravo casting directors who might be scrolling the subreddit.
“I have lived in a suburb of Boston my whole life and I think it would shine and be messy AF,” the user wrote, before suggesting a cast:
“A housewife from Cambridge with three PhDs being a stay-at-home mom, a Southie housewife yelling at her five kids to get out of the triple-decker while she cooks, a wife of a professor spending money they don’t have, a tech bro/crypto investor/scammer wife in the Seaport trying to be a creator on TikTok.”
The Massachusetts Film Office says it has “no current record of conversations with Bravo regarding filming a season of Real Housewives … [but is] always interested in exploring opportunities that showcase the state and its communities.…” so it may not want to hear this, but judging by the RHORI trailers, it looks like Bravo may have landed on a drama goldmine one mere state away.
Lauren Sánchez Bezos herself would likely respect the Housewives’ cosmetic work; a pampered cat named Ganji promises to play a minor but satisfying role, and it’s filled with lines like:
“My family, when they come over, I just need the edge off, you know what I mean?” (Alicia, requesting a daytime glass of wine from her husband); and “Everyone says I bite people’s heads off … and I can be ‘scary,’” (Liz, sitting in her mansion, addressing unseen critics).
If you’ve never watched “The Real Housewives,” or any reality TV — not even just for the pleasure of wondering how are these people letting themselves be filmed like this? — the thing to know is this: while the industry is not what it once was, it remains enormous, financially and culturally.
One research report projected the global market would grow from $35.6 billion in 2025 to $55 billion in 2035.
In today’s America, behaving poorly, or at least dramatically, on TV is a good career move. Some reality stars fall into scandal, tax, child porn, staged home invasions, what have you.
But with greater regularity, Housewives and Kardashians and Bachelors and Bachelorettes — not unlike professional athletes — become crossover pop culture characters, using their credentials to become girdle magnates, say, or to join the Trump administration.
Hayden Cohen, a full-time content creator on the South Shore and a self-described “aspiring real housewife of Instagram,” is thrilled every time a Real Housewife follows him on social media.
“I can’t believe this is happening,” @hayderz thinks.
But of course, what is not happening is “The Real Housewives of Boston.”
There are no trailers showing dramatically haired women, bejeweled under black puffy coats, impatiently waiting for the valet. No Market Basket parking lot slap downs. No seaside clambake meltdowns.
All we have are parodies of a show that itself seems like a parody.
Boston influencer @everydayMaggie has created a whole social media series that caricatures the Housewives’ famed taglines.
“In Fenway, I don’t just pitch drama,” she says in one reel, wearing a tight red dress and caressing a hot dog, “I hit it out of the park.”
“In the North End, I keep my friends close and my cannolis closer,” she says in another.
In the early 2010’s, a series of short clips for a broad satire called “The Real Housewives of South Boston” became a YouTube sensation, and on the platform, users are reporting that the algorithm is serving it up to them again.
“Just found this! OMGawd! I’m freakin dying!” one person wrote. “People don’t realize this is a documentary,” said another.
Meanwhile, with the April 2 premiere of “The Real Housewives of Rhode Island” looming, we need to know: why don’t we have the real thing?
Has Bravo not heard how local girl Amy Poehler described us on a recent episode of her podcast to Steve Carell???
“I love where I’m from. I love the directness. I love the real loyal, just really good, honest people,” Poehler said. “But there is a definite… brusqueness and, honestly, I’m going to say it, there’s just like a ‘you’re not better than me’ quality about Boston.”
Alas, Bravo didn’t answer a reporter’s query, but observers have theories.
For starters, neither of the two stereotypes that define Boston — that casting directors would lean into — is seen as “aspirational” by reality TV execs, said Dr. Monica O’Neal,a clinical psychologist, lecturer at Harvard Medical School, and former cast member of Bravo’s “Camp Getaway.”
“You either have Ivy Leaguers, who execs assume viewers see as the opposite of an underdog and thus won’t root for, or hardcore female sports fans who’d rather go to a hockey match than be ladies who lunch,” she said.
The cast of “The Real Housewives of Rhode Island.”NBC Universal
So, despite any Rhode Island inferiority complex we may be now developing thanks to Bravo, let’s remember: the problem isn’t that we’re not good enough. It’s that we’re too good.
“The wealthy women in Boston are very private,” said Angela Peri, founder and co-owner of Boston Casting. “Boston is different than other parts of the country. Boston is very conservative, and the women here are just not going to put themselves out there like that.”
Lauren Beckham Falcone, the WROR host, echoed Peri. The Nantucket people wouldn’t do it, she said, and while the regular Boston types might want to, the disconnect between their real lives and the glitz and glamour the show demands would be too great.
“It would be like putting a hippo in a tutu,” she said.
Beth Teitell can be reached at beth.teitell@globe.com. Follow her @bethteitell.