It was October 2025 when I decided to come clean to my partner about my debt — all £30,000 of it.
We were standing in the kitchen of our Midlands home — a property we had saved furiously for just a few years before — and I was a little bit tipsy from a night in with my sister and a bottle of wine.
By that point I could barely hold it in anymore. At 30 years old I was consumed by shame and a general sense of helplessness after racking up the debt on credit cards, overdrafts and personal loans.
How did I get here? First, I grew up in a household where debt was very normalised. I remember leaving for school one day and finding the family car clamped in the driveway.
As a teacher struggling to repay debt, holidays are off the agenda
This, coupled with a lack of financial education at school, left me feeling ill-equipped to handle my own money. I spent the majority of my early adulthood in what I would call manageable debt, living in and out of credit cards and overdrafts but never being completely submerged by it.
I am a primary school teacher and I earned just £19,500 a year during my training in London, which I found particularly tough.
My salary improved to £47,000 over seven years as I gained more experience and took on leadership roles. It allowed my partner, who works in the civil service, and me to save a £30,000 deposit for our home in August 2023. We moved out of London and I took a pay cut to £36,000.
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However, eight months later I was signed off work by a doctor as the demands of teaching caused extreme burnout. When I returned, I could only work part-time hours, which meant a salary cut down to £31,000 a year.
This is when things began to spiral. Suddenly I was using my credit cards and overdrafts to keep up with day-to-day expenses. My husband and I split the mortgage (about £600 a month each), but beyond that we did not discuss our finances much so I was never truly honest with him.
There were some big expenses in that time — some emergencies that could not be avoided like a boiler breakdown and four flat car tyres — but there were others some people may be less understanding about. (I took out a £7,000 personal loan for a horse, which I adore). I also consolidated some of the debt with some high-interest loans, which only meant it snowballed further.
Fortunately, when I did come clean, my partner was deeply supportive. He held me close, looked me in the eyes and said: “We can sort this out.”
That night was a turning point for me in my relationship with money. I developed much stricter habits — including allocating every pound of my salary to its specific budget when it lands in my account — and I have also committed to educating myself better about personal finance.
I started selling things on Vinted, the second-hand online market place, and I went back to work full-time. I am sacrificing a lot: I don’t go on any big holidays and I don’t do big nights out. In fact I avoid buying anything now unless it involves cashback. My only non-negotiable expense is my horse. I am able to keep her on my aunt’s land for nothing, but I do spend between £200 and £400 a month on her food, vet bills and insurance.
In total I have cut my overall debts down by £7,000 to about £23,000. And now I am on a more stable footing I have decided to start preparing to have a baby, hopefully in 2027.
This feels controversial and terrifying to admit, as I am sure lots of people will have their opinions. But when you’re living with debt, you have to strike a balance between paying it off and not putting your life completely on hold.
My partner and I want to have £10,000 set aside for a baby fund before we start a family. As a teacher, I am only entitled to four weeks of fully paid maternity leave. After that it tapers off until it is just statutory maternity pay only. I have heard of so many women getting into debt during this stage of their life and am determined that will not happen to me.
For now I am trying to build up £2,000 in an emergency fund — I have £1,000 at the moment. Once that’s done I will begin contributing to the baby fund. Meanwhile, my partner is already contributing his share.
I will not be entirely debt-free by the time we start trying, unless I get a huge, unexpected windfall, but I hope it will be below £15,000, so at a more manageable level. We are using high interest savings accounts: Zopa, which has a 7.1 per cent rate, and a Chase account with nearly 5 per cent.
I am in my thirities now and I have had friends who have struggled with fertility issues. It has made me worry about a ticking biological clock and I don’t want to miss the opportunity to have a family.
I have started to share my journey anonymously on Instagram (@ridingoutdebt) and have been contacted by loads of other teachers who say they are also struggling with debt. I believe it is endemic in the profession, but because there is so much shame attached, everybody suffers alone.
The author of this column is a teacher and equestrian who is sharing her debt experiences on Instagram