“The Leopard and the Moon” is a new book that takes us on a 450-mile trek through Nepal. Nigel Roberts embarkson a journey–a few years after losing his daughter and wife to bipolar disorder and addiction.
“In trying to help them and failing to do so, essentially inevitably you look back and ask yourself what went wrong, what did I do wrong, what was wrong with me that I couldn’t help them,” said Roberts.
It was in 2010 that his daughter Tess, at the age of almost 25 died, leaving behind a young son.
Nigel Roberts spoke with NBC 10’s Barbara Morse about grief after losing his wife and daughter. (WJAR)
“She fell off a balcony, she was drunk at the time and it might or might not have been suicide, it’s not clear,” he said.
His wife Mandana died three years later in 2013–falling in the bathroom after self-medicating–something she often did to deal with her mental illness.
He admits to enabling her, as much to keep the peace, as anything.
His book taking us on both a physical journey through the Himalaya’s…as well as an emotional one.
“I feel or I felt that by telling the story as frankly as I could, I sensed that would strike a cord with other people who also don’t feel good about what they did,” said Roberts.
In retrospect, he admits there were things he might have done better–get help as a family, or at least try.
Been around more. Things he can impart to others now.
Nigel Roberts in Nepal. (Roberts)
A bright spot has been helping raise his 18 year old grandson, Alex.
“The determination to try and think this through and reconcile yourself not simply by quote, moving on, cause I don’t think you do move on unless you try to confront things and understand them,” he said.