Season: 38-10 (79%)

Mrs. Birdie was awakened at dawn by the sound of someone hammering nails outside.

She peeled back the bedroom curtain and saw the love of her life hard at work.

“What are you doing?” she asked out the window in her normal combative tone.

“Nuttin’,” the Birdie said, tapping down a nail into a strip of wood. “Go back to bed.”

She put on her bunny slippers and went into the yard to investigate.

“What is the meaning of this?” she shouted. “Are you building an outhouse?”

The Birdie sighed and wiped sweat from his forehead.

“If you must know, hunny,” Birdie said, “I am making my own data center.”

She rolled her eyes and went back into the house, nearly tripping over a pile of extension cords.

The Birdie plans to store all of his information on local teams in his homemade server farm to improve his prognisticating. He has some old IBMs he found at a thrift store and plans to have several TV monitors to watch livestreams on Friday nights.

After a four-loss week — “Well done, Monessen, Mt. Pleasant, Southmoreland and Latrobe,” he mutters under his nacho cheese breath — the bumbling Birdie needed to clear his mind with a new project.

“One of the techy guys at work is going to condense my stack of newspapers into a digital form,” he said. “I will have Hudl running 24-7, stats and standings ready at a click and archives set to go. I need a place to keep all those stats from the Greensburg Salem quarterback.

“I am also adding a snack bar so I can grab a walking taco on my lunch breaks. And marching band music will play perpetually so it will always feel like halftime.”

While the “birdhouse,” as he is calling it, sounds more like a man shack than a data center, the Birdie refutes claims he is building an escape room to get away from you know who.

“That’s preposterous,” he said, hearing breakfast is ready. “Coming, hunny.”

The data center has a long way to go, but this week’s picks are plugged in and ready for business.

Canon-McMillan (2-2, 1-0) at Hempfield (1-3, 0-1) : Hempfield has shown it can score points, and the Spartans are due. They will get up early on the Big Macs and hold on tight. Hempfield, 28-21

Mt. Lebanon (0-3, 0-0) vs. Norwin (2-2, 1-0) at Penn-Trafford: This could be an old-fashioned smashmouth 6A game and that means one thing: advantage, Norwin. Norwin, 35-10

Fox Chapel (1-3, 0-1) at Franklin Regional (0-4, 0-1): Something has to give in a matchup of struggling teams. Franklin Regional has a lot of injuries, but the Panthers will grind out their first win. Franklin Regional, 10-9

Penn-Trafford (4-0, 1-0) at Connellsville (3-1, 0-0): This has the makings of another big scoring night for the Warriors, who are doing what they want, when they want, to just about anyone. Penn-Trafford, 42-7

Latrobe (3-1, 1-0) at Woodland Hills (1-3, 1-0): Latrobe has shown it can score with better competition, but it won’t be able to finish drives like it has at the vaunted Wolvarena. Red-zone trouble will hurt the ‘Cats. Woodland Hills, 30-27

Greensburg Salem (0-4, 0-1) at Belle Vernon (3-1, 0-0): Greensburg Salem, who the Birdie calls the best 0-4 team in the WPIAL, won’t get to relax much at “The Beach.” The Leopards’ defense is a little better than what the Golden Lions have been seeing. Belle Vernon, 38-24

Elizabeth Forward (4-0, 1-0) at Southmoreland (2-2, 1-0): Elizabeth Forward has a high-powered offense that will force the Scotties to play catch-up. Elizabeth Forward, 35-14

Mt. Pleasant (3-1, 1-0) at Waynesburg (3-1, 0-1): The difference in this Interstate matchup will be the push Waynesburg gets up front. Waynesburg is an underrated team, and Mt. Pleasant is banged up. Waynesburg, 26-13

Greensburg Central Catholic (3-1, 0-1) at Springdale (1-2, 0-1): GCC’s ability to establish the run and finish in the red zone will be too much for the Dynamos. The Centurions are quietly getting better. GCC, 30-13

Riverview (1-3, 1-0) at Jeannette (3-1, 1-0): The Jayhawks will set up short fields with their special teams, and use splash plays to down the Raiders. Look for Jeannette’s team speed to shine through. Jeannette, 34-14

Carlynton (2-2) at Ligonier Valley (4-0): Unbeaten Ligonier Valley is back to intimidating teams, but Carlynton will present its toughest challenge yet. Still, the Rams are averaging nearly 45 points a game. Ligonier Valley, 26-14

Derry (2-2) at Deer Lakes (1-3): Derry is getting healthy at the right time and will grab a win before resuming conference play. A goal-line stand will come into play. Derry, 22-19

Yough (0-4) at Uniontown (2-2): A long season continues for Yough, which doesn’t deserve to travel this much. The Cougars’ schedule is an anomaly. Uniontown, 27-7

Burgettstown (4-0, 1-0) at Monessen (4-0, 1-0): A fun clash of Black Hills contenders and Monessen’s second straight heavyweight clash. The Greyhounds will outrun the Blue Devils. Monessen, 23-17