{"id":12335,"date":"2025-07-15T19:18:05","date_gmt":"2025-07-15T19:18:05","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/12335\/"},"modified":"2025-07-15T19:18:05","modified_gmt":"2025-07-15T19:18:05","slug":"the-most-toxic-communication-habit-on-love-island-season-7","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/12335\/","title":{"rendered":"The Most Toxic Communication Habit on Love Island Season 7"},"content":{"rendered":"

No more shrieking after receiving a text, no more bombshells, no more dramatic firepit gatherings: Love Island USA\u2019s scandal-laden seventh season has concluded after crowning fan-favorite \u201cAmaya Papaya\u201d and her beau Bryan as this year\u2019s winners.<\/p>\n

For six weeks, the show gave millions of people something to talk about\u2014including how the islanders talked to each other. Forget mindless summer entertainment: It was a lesson in how (not) to communicate.<\/p>\n

We pulled a few experts for a chat and asked which communication habits they would vote off the island\u2014and why.<\/p>\n

Reflexive defensiveness<\/p>\n

Saba Harouni Lurie, a marriage and family therapist in Los Angeles, felt \u201cvery angsty\u201d throughout much of Season 7. In part, that was because of all the drama triggered by the way the islanders communicated. \u201cYou see so much good in all of them, and so much potential, and you want them to find what they’re looking for,\u201d she says. \u201cIt\u2019s so painful when they aren’t able to have the conversations they might need to deepen a relationship or recover from some kind of rupture.\u201d<\/p>\n

The worst communication habit Lurie observed is reflexive defensiveness: an immediate, habitual tendency to become defensive at the slightest hint of criticism, even when the other person\u2019s feedback is valid. It can manifest as a tendency to deny any wrongdoing or responsibility, shift blame, minimize an action\u2019s impact, or simply retreat. This knee-jerk reaction was a recurring theme throughout the season between couples and friends, Lurie points out, including Huda and Jeremiah, Chelley and Ace, Amaya and Zak, and Ace and Austin, among others. \u201cPeople got defensive very quickly when they were called into a conversation or got any kind of feedback,\u201d she says. \u201cTheir immediate impulse was to protect themselves and defend themselves.\u201d<\/p>\n

Read More: 8 Things to Say During a Fight With Your Partner<\/a><\/p>\n

Defensiveness shuts conversations down, inhibits curiosity and reconnection, and escalates friction, Lurie says. It leaves little room for understanding or repair\u2014and gets in the way of the open, honest communication a relationship needs to thrive. \u201cIt can make it really hard to connect or reconnect when someone\u2019s really defensive,\u201d she says. \u201cIt creates distance and leads to more conflict, not resolution.\u201d<\/p>\n

Why does it happen?\u00a0<\/p>\n

We all want to see ourselves in a positive light, Lurie says, and it\u2019s painful to hear that people are disappointed in or frustrated with us. Even when someone is thoughtful about how they communicate negative feedback, it can trigger a defense mechanism. If you suspect you have a tendency toward reflexive defensiveness, spend some time reflecting, Lurie suggests: journal about distressing interactions, trying to adopt the other person’s perspective, and ask someone you\u2019re close to if there have been times when they noticed you were quick to become defensive.<\/p>\n

Then, make it a point to slow down during difficult conversations. Instead of saying something you\u2019ll regret or storming off\u2014leaving a trail of profanities in your wake, a la Huda\u2014tell your partner that you hear them, but that you need some time before responding.<\/p>\n

If you\u2019re on the receiving end of a defensive attack, meanwhile, calmly suggest taking a breather, Lurie advises: \u201cCan we take a break? This doesn\u2019t seem to be productive. Let\u2019s take some space and talk about it later.\u201d<\/p>\n

Toxic interruptions<\/p>\n

The communication habit that irked Joy Parrish the most this season was the islanders\u2019 tendency to talk over one another\u2014sometimes belligerently and at especially ill-timed moments. For example: interrupting apologies. Who could forget the time Huda tried to apologize to Chelley after taking things a step too far<\/a> in the heart rate challenge? Chelley cut her off mid\u2011sentence, telling her, “No, no, no, tomorrow we can have a chat,\u201d which prevented closure and heightened the tension whipping around the island.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat is that going to do for the two of them moving forward if you’re setting an example of, when I try to apologize to you, I’m going to get cut off?\u201d says Parrish, a therapist and senior therapy manager at Headspace. It creates a harmful precedent: \u201c\u2018Well, I\u2019m just not going to even try anymore.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n

Read More: The Best Way to Interrupt Someone<\/a><\/p>\n

\"\"Taylor Williams, Austin Shepard, Zak Srakaew, Ace Green, Michelle “Chelley” Bissainthe, Olandria Carthen react to Amaya Espinal during the “Stand on Business” challenge in episode 720 of season 7 of Love Island USA. Ben Symons\u2014Peacock\/Getty Images<\/p>\n

Many of the islanders also cut each other off during moments of vulnerability. During the \u201cStand on Business\u201d challenge, for instance, when Amaya got emotional<\/a> after reading harsh feedback about herself, several islanders raised their voices, interrupting her attempts to explain herself. Similarly, when Chris opened up to Huda about his issues with their lack of PDA, she immediately cut in\u2014and, as a result, he never felt heard. \u201cShe had this hot-potato situation where she didn’t like his upset feelings, and so she was trying to fix it right away,\u201d Parrish says. \u201cWhat she should have done is sit with that discomfort.\u201d<\/p>\n

Instead, the conversation became a battle of who could talk louder and faster. \u201cYou could see Chris start to shut down because there wasn\u2019t room for his feelings at that moment,\u201d Parrish says. \u201cThat\u2019s what makes cutting someone off so harmful: It doesn\u2019t just interrupt the sentence. It interrupts the emotional safety of the relationship.\u201d Communicating in this way sends a clear message, she adds: \u201cWhat you have to say isn\u2019t as important as what I have to say.\u201d<\/p>\n

Interruptions come up frequently in couples\u2019 therapy. Sometimes, they\u2019re such a problem that Parrish hands out talking sticks: You\u2019re not allowed to speak unless you\u2019re holding the stick. Not everyone needs it, but some couples simply can\u2019t otherwise refrain from interrupting each other. <\/p>\n

Read More: 8 Ways to Respond When Someone Interrupts You<\/a><\/p>\n

If you\u2019re prone to interjecting at inopportune moments, Parrish recommends training yourself to count to two before responding. Then reflect back on what you heard: Saying something like \u201cIt sounds like you feel\u2026\u201d will show the other person you\u2019re listening. It\u2019s also a good idea to ask gentle clarifying questions. Rather than cutting your partner off, ask them: \u201cCan you say more about that?\u201d<\/p>\n

On Love Island, \u201cdramatic interruptions might drive ratings,\u201d Parrish acknowledges. \u201cBut in real relationships, they drive damage.\u201d A good communicator, on the other hand? That\u2019s everyone\u2019s type on paper.<\/p>\n

Correction, July 15<\/p>\n

The original version of this story misquoted Chelley cutting Huda off on Love Island. She said, “No, no, no. Tomorrow we can have a chat,” not “save it.”<\/p>\n