However, her mother asked if the family could have a joint celebration for everyone on the day she was planning the party. \u201cI reminded her I was making my own plans for the 20th,\u201d the woman shares, adding that her sister, who is married to her brother-in-law, knew about her birthday plans.<\/p>\n
![\"Getty](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/8cf529321366751e9de522942e231395.jpeg\"\/)
<\/p>\n
Getty Images<\/p>\n
Stock photo of a woman upset for her birthday<\/p>\n
At the time, nothing more came from that suggestion. The woman says she believed her boundaries were respected and moved forward with preparing her 40th birthday party.<\/p>\n
But just a few days before her big day, she reached out to her parents to see if they could watch her son for the night so she and her friends could continue celebrating. \u201cI am told by my mother that she won\u2019t be available [because] she has BIL\u2019s birthday party,\u201d she explains, noting this is the first time she learns her mom is throwing the event.<\/p>\n
Her sister then revealed that she had been involved in organizing the other party as well. \u201cSo mom (& sister) who knew about my birthday party and sister who was invited and never said she wouldn\u2019t be there, is now throwing her 37 yo SIL a birthday party instead of attending her own daughter\u2019s 40th birthday party,\u201d she writes.<\/p>\n
Feeling blindsided, she confronted her mother about the hurt she felt from being dismissed on such an important milestone. Her mother\u2019s response, however, only deepened the wound.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhen confronted about the fact that it was hurtful that she chose to throw someone else a birthday party on the day of my party, she tells me that I should put someone else ahead of myself for once,\u201d the woman recalls. She says that it stung especially hard, given her role in the family as the eldest daughter and a so-called \u201cglass child.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cA glass child is the sibling of a child that has special needs, so is therefore overlooked, and often left to be responsible for themselves,\u201d she explains in her post. \u201cParentification is very common, too, throw in the expectations put on the eldest daughter, and it makes for a lot of neglect.\u201d<\/p>\n
She says this lifelong pattern of putting others first only makes her mother\u2019s comment more painful. \u201cMind you I am an eldest daughter, as well as a glass child, so I have spent 39 years putting others first,\u201d she writes.<\/p>\n
![\"Getty](\"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/09\/958d682527a380772fffeab4feeab166.jpeg\"\/)
<\/p>\n
Getty Images<\/p>\n
Stock photo of a mom embracing her son-in-law<\/p>\n
In her Reddit post, she questions whether her anger at her mother\u2019s decision is justified. \u201cAITAH for being pissed off about my mom\u2019s actions, and my sister\u2019s complacency?\u201d she asks the community, who largely took her side.<\/p>\n