{"id":202977,"date":"2025-10-05T07:31:07","date_gmt":"2025-10-05T07:31:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/202977\/"},"modified":"2025-10-05T07:31:07","modified_gmt":"2025-10-05T07:31:07","slug":"trump-tells-cast-they-better-behave-or-else","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/202977\/","title":{"rendered":"Trump Tells Cast They Better Behave\u2014Or Else"},"content":{"rendered":"

\n\tSaturday Night Live<\/a>\u2018s season 51 premiere kicked off with Donald Trump<\/a> and his Federal Communications Commission attack dog warning cast members not to go too far with their jokes\u2014or face the consequences<\/a>.<\/p>\n

\n\tTrump (James Austin Johnson) began by interrupting Secretary of Defense and former Fox News host Pete Hegseth<\/a> (Colin Jost) instructing<\/a> high-ranking members of the military on some new rules. <\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cNo\u00a0fatties, no facial hair, no body\u00a0hair.\u00a0Just hot, shredded, hairless men\u00a0who are definitely not gay,\u201d Hegseth said. \u201cBecause this is serious. We are facing the\u00a0greatest threat to freedom and\u00a0democracy the world has ever\u00a0known, and we all know what that\u00a0threat is.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cLate night TV!\u201d Trump answered, referring to FCC Chairman Brendan Carr\u2019s pressure last month on<\/a> ABC and parent company Disney over Jimmy Kimmel\u2019s comments about the killing of conservative commentator Charlie Kirk.<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cI\u2019m just here keeping an eye on\u00a0SNL<\/a> making sure they don\u2019t do\u00a0anything too mean about me.\u00a0They better be careful. I know\u00a0late night\u00a0TV like the back of my hands; not looking great right now!\u201d he said, revealing the all-too common smear of<\/a> non-matching makeup on the back of his right hand.<\/p>\n<\/p>\n

\n\tAfter roasting the show\u2019s beginning\u2014\u201dwe all know they were never\u00a0going to let [Jost] do the whole\u00a0opening by himself\u201d\u2014Trump said of the Weekend Update co-host: \u201cI thought he would be with\u00a0his friends at the Riyadh Comedy\u00a0Festival.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cThat\u2019s sad. We love the Saudis because they\u00a0like to \u2018saw these\u2019 journalists in\u00a0half,\u201d Trump joked, amid Bill Burr, Dave Chappelle and other comedians receiving criticism for<\/a> taking money to perform in<\/a> a nation with a dismal human rights record.\u00a0\u201cThat\u2019s the kind of thing that\u00a0would kill over there.\u201d <\/p>\n

\n\tTrump then addressed another big development since the season 50 finale in May: the contents of a creepy 2003 birthday letter<\/a> to eventual sex offender Jeffrey Epstein that The Wall Street Journal reported was from Trump, but which he (dubiously<\/a>) denies writing.<\/p>\n

\t\tEditor\u2019s picks<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cAll right, Colin,\u00a0those Spirit Airlines jokes\u00a0aren\u2019t going to write\u00a0themselves.\u00a0Bye,\u201d Trump said, shooing him away. \u201cOh, and Colin: \u2018May every day be\u00a0another wonderful secret.\u2019\u00a0That was a quote from a poem I\u00a0wrote to a\u00a0horrible man I\u2019ve never met\u00a0before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cBut here we are, SNL season\u00a051. Should have called it at 50,\u00a0right?\u201d Trump continued.\u00a0\u201cIt\u2019s so sad to see something get\u00a0old and confused yet still\u00a0demand constant attention.\u00a0Oh, well.\u00a0But they better be on their best\u00a0behavior, otherwise they\u2019re\u00a0going to have to answer to my\u00a0attack dog at the FCC, Brandon\u00a0Carr.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cIt\u2019s actually \u2018Brendan,\u2019 sir,\u201d said Carr (Mikey Day).<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cIt\u2019s crazy that you think I\u00a0care,\u201d Trump replied. <\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cWell, I had a great summer,\u201d Trump concluded. \u201cI took a little vacation time\u00a0for golf\u00a0and travel and stroke.\u00a0Kidding!\u00a0Or not.\u00a0We\u2019ll never know, will we?\u201d <\/p>\n

\t\tTrending Stories<\/p>\n

\n\t\u201cI ended every war,\u00a0except the two main ones still\u00a0happening and more vicious than\u00a0ever,\u201d he added.\u00a0\u201cNow starting a new war in\u00a0Venezuela soon.\u201d<\/p>\n

\n\tThat one will be paid for, he explained, \u201cwith my scams.\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Saturday Night Live\u2018s season 51 premiere kicked off with Donald Trump and his Federal Communications Commission attack dog…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":202978,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[33],"tags":[12,88,11448,1572,12015,12016],"class_list":{"0":"post-202977","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-entertainment","8":"tag-donald-trump","9":"tag-entertainment","10":"tag-late-night-tv","11":"tag-pete-hegseth","12":"tag-saturday-night-live","13":"tag-snl"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/202977","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=202977"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/202977\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/202978"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=202977"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=202977"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=202977"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}