{"id":227249,"date":"2025-10-15T19:42:10","date_gmt":"2025-10-15T19:42:10","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/227249\/"},"modified":"2025-10-15T19:42:10","modified_gmt":"2025-10-15T19:42:10","slug":"my-unusual-penis-was-never-corrected-at-birth-now-it-poses-a-maddening-problem-in-bed","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/227249\/","title":{"rendered":"My unusual penis was never corrected at birth. Now it poses a maddening problem in bed."},"content":{"rendered":"

How to Do It is Slate\u2019s sex advice column.\u00a0Have a question?\u00a0Send it to Jessica and Rich here<\/a>.\u00a0It\u2019s anonymous!<\/p>\n

Dear How to Do It,\u00a0<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a 41-year-old man and have an uncorrected birth defect\u2026<\/p>\n

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Help! I Caught My Young Neighbor Using an Age-Old Trick to Avoid Me. She Needs to Learn a Lesson.
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Help! Years Ago, I Found My Mom\u2019s Diary. It Forever Transformed My Relationship With My Dad.
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I have hypospadias<\/a> (an unformed urethra basically), which causes my penis to bend at a near 90-degree angle when erect. Functionally, it is fine (have to pee sitting down \u2026 whatever). I have, however, struggled with body image issues over this and have never been in a relationship or had sex (as of yet). Any advice for discussing this with a potential partner or positions to try if the day ever comes?<\/p>\n

\u2014Curved and Curious<\/p>\n

Dear Curved and Curious,<\/p>\n

A nearly 90-degree bend is significant. I emailed a few questions to Prof. Dr. Ahmed T. Hadidi of Germany\u2019s Hypospadias Center,<\/a> and he clarified that while \u201cit is rather impossible to have traditional penetrative sex with a 90-degree curvature\u201d\u2014in fact, anything more than 20 degrees may interfere with penetrative sex\u2014\u201dthe doggy position may reduce the negative effects of penile curvature.\u201d<\/p>\n

There\u2019s no guarantee, of course, because your particular anatomy, combined with the anatomy of any individual partner, is going to dictate how the two of you fit together. Something like Tetris, but more fleshy and with fewer sharp angles. Generally speaking, penetrative sex is a question of getting tab A into slot B\u2014try as many possibilities as you can think of, and keep track of the ones that feel good. It could be useful to experiment on your own with a \u201cmale masturbator\u201d style toy, which you can insert your penis into.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n Jessica Stoya
\n I\u2019m Dating a Younger Man. His \u2026 Inexperience Is Vexing Me.
\n Read More\n <\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

As for how to broach the discussion with romantic and sexual interests, the more matter-of-fact and direct you are, the more likely they are to take it well. Again, no promises, but it\u2019s the main thing you can control in these conversations, and people do tend to base part of their reaction on the tone of the person delivering information. You\u2019ll want to express your attraction, and follow it up with the basic details of your situation\u2014namely, that you\u2019ve got a significant bend in your penis that\u2019s part of a condition you\u2019ve had since birth, you\u2019ve decided not to pursue surgery to reduce it, and you\u2019ll need to work together to figure out what positions are possible for the two of you. You may find that practicing your phrasing in the mirror or with a friend reduces anxiety. Line up a friend you can lean on in case the potential partner behaves like a jerk, who will also be happy to celebrate with you if your new partner responds with the compassion you deserve.<\/p>\n

\u2014Jessica<\/p>\n

More Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a straight man in my late 30s, and my wife of 10 years recently came out as bisexual. She says that nothing about herself has changed, she\u2019s just acknowledging an attraction to women that\u2019s always been there, and that our relationship will stay entirely the same, which is mostly great! The thing is, part of me WANTS a change.<\/a><\/p>\n

The latest sex, parenting, and money advice from our columnists delivered to your inbox three times a week.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"How to Do It is Slate\u2019s sex advice column.\u00a0Have a question?\u00a0Send it to Jessica and Rich here.\u00a0It\u2019s anonymous!…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":227250,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[3005,97,14110,37512,6843],"class_list":{"0":"post-227249","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-health","10":"tag-sex","11":"tag-single-q","12":"tag-slate-plus"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227249","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=227249"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/227249\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/227250"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=227249"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=227249"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=227249"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}