{"id":252124,"date":"2025-10-26T06:12:11","date_gmt":"2025-10-26T06:12:11","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/252124\/"},"modified":"2025-10-26T06:12:11","modified_gmt":"2025-10-26T06:12:11","slug":"my-sister-is-trying-ruin-my-perfect-wedding-day-i-think-shes-going-to-regret-it","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/252124\/","title":{"rendered":"My sister is trying ruin my perfect wedding day. I think she\u2019s going to regret it."},"content":{"rendered":"

Dear Prudence is Slate\u2019s advice column.\u00a0Submit questions here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Dear Prudence, <\/p>\n

My fianc\u00e9 and I are getting married in February on Valentine\u2019s Day. The trouble is that my sister, \u201cSydney,\u201d has lost her damn mind.<\/p>\n

She is demanding that we change the date of our wedding because Valentine\u2019s Day is the day her ex-husband ran off with her best friend. Five years ago. I told her this is insanity and that she needs to move on with her life. Now Sydney is furious with me and accusing me of having no regard for her feelings. I could not change the date of my wedding even if I wanted to. The invitations have been sent, the venue is booked, and everything has been ordered. She is now threatening to boycott the entire event. Should I try to talk some sense into her, or take this as a win?<\/p>\n

\u2014She\u2019s Stuck in the Past<\/p>\n

Dear She\u2019s Stuck,<\/p>\n

If you\u2019d asked me what to do before you got frustrated with your sister and expressed it, I would have encouraged you to be a bit gentler with her. The commentary about insanity and moving on was unnecessary. She\u2019s obviously very hurt (making irrational demands, yes; but in pain, too) and didn\u2019t need to be told anything that would make her feel worse about herself. Also, by criticizing her in that way, you made this into a fight between two sisters rather than one sister acting out. But what\u2019s done is done and honestly, she\u2019d probably be threatening a boycott even if you\u2019d said \u201cI know how much the end of your marriage hurt you, you didn\u2019t deserve it, and I wish I would have known how you felt about Valentine\u2019s Day before we booked everything. At this point, I can\u2019t change the date, but if there is anything I can do to make this day easier for you, please let me know.\u201d<\/p>\n

So let her go ahead with her plan to skip the event, but because it sounds like a plan made in a heightened emotional state, make the seating chart flexible enough to give her some room to change her mind\u2014and if she does RSVP yes, don\u2019t say \u201cWhat happened to the irrational boycott?\u201d Just ask what she wants for her meal.<\/p>\n

\n Please keep questions short (<150 words), and don\u2018t submit the same question to multiple columns. We are unable to edit or remove questions after publication. Use pseudonyms to maintain anonymity. Your submission may be used in other Slate advice columns and may be edited for publication.\n <\/p>\n

Dear Prudence, <\/p>\n

I have a younger (31) male friend who has been single for many years. He\u2019s a great guy, albeit with some long-standing health issues caused by growing up in an abusive household. I promised that I would help him find a partner, but I don\u2019t know what to do next.<\/p>\n

I have no friends to introduce him to\u2014he\u2019s very firmly monogamous, and my female friends are all too old and\/or too polyamorous and\/or too asexual. He\u2019s adamant that he doesn\u2019t want to use dating apps because our feckless government has recently passed an Online \u201cSafety\u201d Act<\/a>, which requires adults to submit their IDs to third-party checking sites in order to use \u201cadult\u201d websites. Since this came into law in July, there has already been at least one database breach of 70,000 users including their legal IDs, which is shocking. As a person highly concerned about privacy, he doesn\u2019t want to take this risk and I don\u2019t feel comfortable pressuring him to do so.<\/p>\n

The problem is, where do we go next? I\u2019m very willing to go along to an in-person event and be his \u201cwing woman\u201d as it were, offering him moral support as he talks to women in the hope of making friendships which could go further, but what event should this be? Things like speed dating are absolutely terrible for a person who cannot work due to disability, because many people who go to a dating event seem to be hoping for a partner who has a high income and a luxury car.<\/p>\n

Suggestions for \u201cwhere to meet someone\u201d in advice columns always involve finding an activity which you enjoy doing and hoping to make friends there. Well, my friend likes roleplaying games and mountain biking, both of which are extremely male-dominated, and one of which is generally a solo hobby. He doesn\u2019t know what else he \u201cmight\u201d be interested in because he doesn\u2019t have a lot of life experience due to his abusive background.<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve suggested things like classes of some sort, but he\u2019s either rejected the idea as unhelpful (e.g. dance classes\u2014he doesn\u2019t think anyone his age would be at them), or he\u2019s concerned that other attendees are there to learn, not to look for romance. He doesn\u2019t want to be a creep, so he feels unwilling to sign up for an activity unless there is a reasonable chance of there being women his age who are looking for a boyfriend. He\u2019s not in the least bit religious, and finds the idea of \u201catheist alternative to church\u201d to be weird.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m just desperate to help but utterly clueless\u2014I have never had to look for a partner in my life due to being a bi poly woman. I\u2019ve just had to exist in nerd space, and I find people. Outside of classes or religious groups, what kind of activities exist where you meet the same people every week\/fortnight\/month and can get to know them over time? And where it wouldn\u2019t be weird or creepy to attend with your primary purpose being to find a partner?<\/p>\n

\u2014Wingman Who Doesn\u2019t Know How to Fly<\/p>\n

Dear Wingman,<\/p>\n

It\u2019s really fun to think about this and a bunch of ideas come to mind: Sign up for a sip and paint! Hang out at a winery! Wander the farmer\u2019s market and chat people up together! Go to the dog park! But I know your friend is going to reject each of these suggestions. He has\u2014maybe unconsciously\u2014placed so many restrictions on his search for romance that he\u2019s made it practically impossible for you to help him. He won\u2019t use apps. He won\u2019t go to dance classes because of his assumptions about the age of the other people who will be there. He won\u2019t, I assume, attend to speed dating without you escorting him. He won\u2019t participate in anything if there\u2019s not a reasonable chance of finding a girlfriend, if it\u2019s anything like church, if he won\u2019t meet the same people regularly, or if anyone might find it creepy to be there looking for a partner. He won\u2019t even give any information on the qualities he might like in a date.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

I Thought My Sister and I Were Cool. Then She Sent Me a Text Saying I Owed Her $9,000.
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My Long-Distance Girlfriend Pulls an Obvious \u201cTeen Boy\u201d Move Every Time We Have Sex. I\u2019m Fed Up.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Help! My Sister-in-Law Always Spoils My Holiday Plan the Same Way. This Year Is Going to Be Different.
\n <\/a><\/p>\n

It\u2019s clear to me that your friend doesn\u2019t really want to put himself out there, either because he doesn\u2019t want a relationship as much as you think he does, or because he\u2019s absolutely terrified of failure or rejection. It sounds like he\u2019s been through a lot and suffered a lot, and may still be really suffering now, so I can understand why his outlook isn\u2019t the most optimistic or open. But that\u2019s going to have to change before he can benefit from the assistance of a wing woman. The best you can do as a friend is to help him find some joy in life and some confidence in himself. Maybe encourage him to join you in having new experiences that could inspire him to feel more excited and less pessimistic and fearful about the possibilities for love. This might fortify him to take some of the risks that come with dating. Plus, knowing himself better, being happier, and liking his life will make him more attractive when he does decide to put himself out there and look for a partner.<\/p>\n

I want to be careful of suggesting that he needs to be fully healed and self-actualized in order to find a partner, because he doesn\u2019t. But he has to be healed and self-actualized enough to be willing to try. And he\u2019s not there yet. The search won\u2019 t work if you want this for him more than he wants it for himself.<\/p>\n

Want more Prudie? Slate Plus members get an additional column each week.\u00a0Sign up for Slate Plus now<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Dear Prudence, <\/p>\n

I have a great connection with a colleague; we\u2019re both single, and we\u2019ve fooled around a little too. I feel like it could lead to something as we\u2019ve both agreed to go on a date, although we can never seem to find a time that suits us both.<\/p>\n

Recently, a rumor went around about us. My colleague made me aware of the rumor, and she said \u201cit\u2019s not the rumor that bothers me but who started it.\u201d I\u2019m really confused as to whether or not I actually have a shot with her. We\u2019ve also been extremely close, telling each other everything for nearly three years. Please help.<\/p>\n

\u2014Maybe<\/p>\n

Dear Maybe,<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sorry to say this but I don\u2019t think your colleague wants this to lead to something as much as you do. I\u2019m not saying she doesn\u2019t like you and like talking to you. She clearly does. But if she wanted to make time for a date with you, she would have done that. Enjoy the crush and how it makes work more fun. But stop pushing and look elsewhere for romance.<\/p>\n

Classic Prudie<\/p>\n

I\u2019ve always been interested in doing some form of sex work. I think I\u2019d be good at it and would enjoy it. I\u2019ve thought about doing some sugar babying in the past but never gone through with it. Recently, I\u2019ve been wanting to start an OnlyFans account. The only issue is I teach college.<\/a><\/p>\n

Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Dear Prudence is Slate\u2019s advice column.\u00a0Submit questions here. Dear Prudence, My fianc\u00e9 and I are getting married in…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":252125,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[31],"tags":[3005,11463,83542,6843,74],"class_list":{"0":"post-252124","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-technology","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-dear-prudence","10":"tag-featured-rubric","11":"tag-slate-plus","12":"tag-technology"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252124","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=252124"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/252124\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/252125"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=252124"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=252124"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=252124"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}