{"id":254552,"date":"2025-10-27T12:51:07","date_gmt":"2025-10-27T12:51:07","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/254552\/"},"modified":"2025-10-27T12:51:07","modified_gmt":"2025-10-27T12:51:07","slug":"my-son-became-friends-with-the-kid-who-lives-down-the-street-now-theyve-gotten-too-comfortable-for-my-liking","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/254552\/","title":{"rendered":"My son became friends with the kid who lives down the street. Now they’ve gotten too comfortable for my liking."},"content":{"rendered":"

Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0Submit it here<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Dear Care and Feeding,<\/p>\n

My son, \u201cGary,\u201d 8, has a friend, \u201cKenny,\u201d who is the same age and lives down the block.<\/p>\n

The problem is that Kenny is around ALL. THE. TIME. when they aren\u2019t in school. It\u2019s like he thinks he lives here. He\u2019s not rude and is well-behaved, but it would be nice not to have a third kid (I have a 5-year-old daughter as well) always around. His parents are divorced, and his mom is at work a lot, but I think she is trying to use us for free child care.<\/p>\n

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I would like to speak with her, but I can hardly ever get hold of her. On those rare occasions that I have, she says she\u2019s trying her best, but her hours are crazy. My husband thinks I\u2019m making too big a deal of this and that we are really helping Kenny out by giving him a safe place to be. Is it too much to ask for some family time that doesn\u2019t include him?<\/p>\n

\u2014Involuntary Babysitter<\/p>\n

Dear Involuntary Babysitter,<\/p>\n

Hmmm, so I can\u2019t tell you how to feel, and I want to respect your feelings because being a parent is a lot of work! I understand that not everyone wants to take on extra childcare responsibilities and any added stress. But, as a huge believer in community and someone who thinks that the adage \u201cit takes a village to raise a child\u201d is something to live by, I encourage you to reframe your thinking about the situation.<\/p>\n

Kenny sees you and your family as a safe space\u2014people and a home that welcomes him when his mother is off working. To be so trusted is truly an honor. It also doesn\u2019t seem as if his mom is deliberately taking advantage of your kindness. To me, it sounds like she\u2019s trying to navigate her own circumstances and might not have realized you see it as such an inconvenience.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n Greg Lavallee
\n My Two Daughters Have Vastly Different Interests. My Husband Is Only Interested in Supporting One of Them.
\n Read More\n <\/p>\n

<\/a><\/p>\n

Here\u2019s what I suggest: Are there certain times that are better for Kenny to come over than others? Tell him he\u2019s welcome to come over on certain days, but mention that others don\u2019t work for the family. Saying this ahead of time gives his mom time to know that you aren\u2019t available and to find alternative care. Hopefully, this will make it so Kenny\u2019s visits are less likely to be sprung on you without warning.<\/p>\n

But, again, I do think seeing Kenny\u2019s trust in your family as a privilege can be helpful. It\u2019s hard work building a home so loving that other people\u2019s kids view it as their home, too! It shows you and your husband have good hearts and that you\u2019re raising kids who have the same.<\/p>\n

\u2014Arionne<\/p>\n

More Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

My husband and I both work full time and have two children under 5. My parents strongly disagree with me (a mom) working full time outside of the house. They are both passive-aggressive and full-on aggressive about their disapproval.<\/a><\/p>\n

Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Care and Feeding is Slate\u2019s parenting advice column.\u00a0Have a question for Care and Feeding?\u00a0Submit it here. Dear Care…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":254553,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[3005,3006,8284,148,79,37512,6843],"class_list":{"0":"post-254552","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-science","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-family","10":"tag-kids","11":"tag-parenting","12":"tag-science","13":"tag-single-q","14":"tag-slate-plus"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254552","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=254552"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/254552\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/254553"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=254552"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=254552"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=254552"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}