{"id":271475,"date":"2025-11-04T19:17:09","date_gmt":"2025-11-04T19:17:09","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/271475\/"},"modified":"2025-11-04T19:17:09","modified_gmt":"2025-11-04T19:17:09","slug":"i-lost-a-bunch-of-weight-and-love-the-way-i-look-but-im-unrecognizable-when-the-clothes-come-off","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/271475\/","title":{"rendered":"I lost a bunch of weight and love the way I look. But I’m unrecognizable when the clothes come off."},"content":{"rendered":"

How to Do It is Slate\u2019s sex advice column.\u00a0Have a question?\u00a0Send it to Jessica and Rich here<\/a>.\u00a0It\u2019s anonymous!<\/p>\n

Dear How to Do It,\u00a0<\/p>\n

Over the past year, I\u2019ve purposefully lost a lot of weight. I did it mostly for health reasons (I was borderline diabetic, and have now reversed it, which is great), but I would be lying if there wasn\u2019t some aesthetic desired mixed up in all of this as well. I love how I look now\u2014except for one big problem.<\/p>\n

I have so much loose skin on my arms and my boobs! My boobs are completely deflated. So I like how I look in clothes but hate how I look naked\u2014and am especially insecure now as I meet men for hookups and flings. I don\u2019t think I need to warn them, but I feel like they must notice. I can\u2019t help but think my body is a huge turnoff once the clothes come off. Where do I go from here?<\/p>\n

\u2014Saggy Everywhere<\/p>\n

Dear Saggy Everywhere,<\/p>\n

Patience, combined with the kind of lifestyle that helps reduce the risk of diabetes, might help you more than you think. Your skin might become less loose over time (putting on some muscle<\/a> can help), and you may find you start to care less. If you\u2019re still dissatisfied in another year, a dermatologist or plastic surgeon can offer you several options. But I suggest you give yourself some time to see what changes in the coming months.<\/p>\n

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It\u2019s important to know that you aren\u2019t alone<\/a>. I\u2019m sure there\u2019s something to be said for the power of knowing other people are having the same insecurities. But I bring this up to point out that because your experience isn\u2019t super uncommon, the men you\u2019re having flings with have probably encountered other naked women with similar skin. There absolutely are people in the world who will zero in on the physical details their partners are uncomfortable with, and some will even point those details out verbally, but those people are pretty rare. Anecdotally speaking, the men who are actually having a lot of hookups with multiple partners tend to be focused on the pleasure they\u2019re experiencing and giving, or if anything, a bit concerned about their own characteristics they wish they could change. And, as strange as this may sound, straight men often appreciate or even fetishize certain appearance aspects that most women criticize about themselves.<\/p>\n

That said, I think it\u2019s OK to lean on a band-aid style mitigation strategy, or at least have it as an option, and I\u2019m an enthusiastic proponent of dressing for success. At all price points and in almost every imaginable aesthetic, there are bras that provide great support with sheer fabrics, bras that leave your nipples accessible, and bolero-style tops that cover only the shoulders and arms. Your best course of action will be to visit a few shops in person, as it\u2019s infinitely more difficult to find the right fit for lingerie than it is for shirts or pants. If that\u2019s not possible, lurking the ABraThatFits subreddit<\/a> can help you get an idea of what brands and styles might work for you, and the community is often happy to help posters who are willing to share their measurements. In the event that you get lucky and find a plethora of options that appeal to you, though, be choosy, as\u2014to reiterate\u2014your body might continue to change pretty quickly.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/p>\n

\n Rich Juzwiak
\n Every Time My Boyfriend Climaxes, I Spend 24-36 Hours Cleaning Up. It\u2019s Driving Me Nuts.
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<\/a><\/p>\n

If you were looking for more of a long-term relationship, I\u2019d be a bit more focused on encouraging you to look for people who feel supportive and accepting so you could be fully vulnerable with them. But hookup culture is accurately critiqued as being fairly superficial and usually too fast-paced for establishing that kind of trust. So, know that you can always leave the lights low, and\u2014if a partner is having erectile difficulties\u2014stay open to the likelihood that it has absolutely nothing to do with you, much less your body.<\/p>\n

\u2014Jessica<\/p>\n

More Advice From Slate<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a 33-year-old man. I realized\/admitted to myself that I was bi after I first started dating my now-wife (also 33) seven years ago. We took a break early in our relationship for about a year because of unrelated life events, but because of the circumstances, I wasn\u2019t really able to explore my newly realized sexuality. I only hooked up with one guy during that period and it wasn\u2019t super great, honestly.<\/a><\/p>\n

Get the latest from Prudie and our columnists in your inbox each weekday, plus special bonus letters on Saturdays.\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"How to Do It is Slate\u2019s sex advice column.\u00a0Have a question?\u00a0Send it to Jessica and Rich here.\u00a0It\u2019s anonymous!…\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":271476,"comment_status":"","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[3005,97,14110,37512,6843],"class_list":{"0":"post-271475","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-health","8":"tag-advice","9":"tag-health","10":"tag-sex","11":"tag-single-q","12":"tag-slate-plus"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/271475","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=271475"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/271475\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/271476"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=271475"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=271475"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.newsbeep.com\/us\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=271475"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}