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\n \u201cI do have a lovely family and friends that I feel would support me, as I would them in any time of need. But if it doesn\u2019t work out, I\u2019ll take the corner penthouse at the Lillian Booth Actors Home in New Jersey.\u201d
\n Photo-Illustration: Joe McKendry; Photo: Bruce Glikas\/WireImage\n <\/p>\n
The Maria Bamford Questionnaire is a series of 25 questions designed by the beloved comedian<\/a> to unearth surprising truths about its respondents. In this edition, you\u2019ll learn about Jane Krakowski, the Tony-winning stage and screen actor best known for playing Jenna Maroney in the classic NBC sitcom 30 Rock from 2006 to 2013. From now until January 4, she can be seen in the role of Mary Todd Lincoln in Cole Escola\u2019s<\/a> Oh, Mary! on Broadway<\/a>.<\/p>\n Well, I am on a Broadway schedule because I\u2019m currently in Oh, Mary!, but maybe that doesn\u2019t even affect it. I usually have a glass of wine, and perhaps I\u2019ll sneak in a Wine Gum or a Percy Pig or a gummy kind of candy along with it. Right until I knock out on that pillow!<\/p>\n I don\u2019t think mine would really be a religion, but I would like to emphasize the morals and values that were instilled in children from the late \u201960s to the \u201980s through Mister Rogers\u2019 Neighborhood and Sesame Street. I feel like kids aren\u2019t getting those same kinds of principles taught to them daily. Granted, that was my babysitter a lot of the time in my childhood, but it was a pretty good babysitter to have. I wish kids had more of that \u2014 just reminding everybody about kindness and trying to understand each other and, I don\u2019t know, putting on a comfy sweater when you get home. Save PBS!<\/p>\n I thought about this one a little, because there\u2019s so many things I\u2019d like to be the face of. But I\u2019m going to aim high. I\u2019m going to go to Porsche, because I love cars. I own a Porsche, and I\u2019d like many more. I\u2019d like to try some of the vintage ones. I\u2019d like to try the new ones. I want the new electric one. Since I\u2019ve owned a car, I\u2019ve had a Porsche.<\/p>\n No applause. I started in show business at age 9, so I\u2019ve obviously needed a lot of applause, and it\u2019s continued to keep me here and make me very happy. The need was strong. Outside of that, it is being submerged and not being able to escape. Very light and dark side to this answer.<\/p>\n I\u2019m just going to go with the most major thing that has happened in my life, which is getting the opportunity to play Mary in Oh, Mary! and to be welcomed back into the Broadway community for the show. I\u2019m having the time of my life playing one of the most unhinged, great comedic roles that will come along for a long time. It\u2019s just been incredible. Every day I wake up with a bruise somewhere or something, but I felt no pain during the show. I guess it\u2019s the magical endorphins of performing in live theater. I don\u2019t know how I\u2019m getting them, but it\u2019s a very physical part. I\u2019m so glad they asked me, and I\u2019m so glad I said yes.<\/p>\n This is going to sound fake, but I\u2019m going to show you the last text I read, because you\u2019re not going to believe me. It\u2019s from Tina [Fey], saying that she\u2019s coming to see the show tonight. I\u2019m so thrilled that she\u2019s coming. Obviously, we get to see each other so much less than we did when we were working together every day for 13 hours per day. But we have text communication, holiday parties, and things like that. She\u2019s always available when I reach out, which is the sweetest thing in the world. I adore that whole group.<\/p>\n I haven\u2019t pulled the trigger yet, but I am on the hunt for vintage Broadway T-shirts. My parents recently moved out of my childhood home, and I found a box of stuff I had kept as memories. I found my original A Chorus Line sweatshirt that I bought when I saw it in 1979, and I now treasure that sweatshirt. I don\u2019t know why I don\u2019t have all the others, but I have that one \u2014\u00a0and I still wear it! Proud to be a Broadway small still. Now I\u2019m on the hunt to find other shows that were as important to me. I\u2019m looking for Annie, I\u2019m looking for Cabaret, and for other shows from the late \u201970s to early \u201980s that really influenced me.<\/p>\n But the best thing that I bought used \u2014 and this goes against how I usually work \u2014\u00a0was a Mercedes 560 SL from 1988. It goes back to the cars. I\u2019m usually someone who never buys big things like that, and I normally would go home and fret and question, Should I get it? Should I not? But it came through a very reliable person. I literally bought it that same day, and I have not had one regret. It\u2019s very unusual for me, because I overanalyze every decision, being a Libra.<\/p>\n Anyone who is against the rights of the LGBTQ+ community. It actually makes me very sad. Between people trying to reverse gay marriage and everything that\u2019s going on in the trans community with the lack of support, it just makes me so upset that I feel like we\u2019re going backward.<\/p>\n I hope that I don\u2019t return to a place where I make decisions based on what other people will think about the decision. I hope that I\u2019ve gotten to a place where I can choose to do what I think would be most enjoyable. I\u2019m talking mostly about work and my career, but I feel like I spent a lot of time in my mid-career fretting about what other people would think, how it would look, and what the right move is. And there\u2019s such a freedom in just saying, \u201cYeah, I really want to do this. Let\u2019s do it.\u201d Or to do it for yourself, because you would love to do it. Or because they\u2019ve asked and it sounds like fun.<\/p>\n I sure hope I do. I do have a lovely family and friends who I feel would support me, as I would them in any time of need. But if it doesn\u2019t work out, I\u2019ll take the corner penthouse at the Lillian Booth Actors Home in New Jersey. It\u2019s a retirement home for actors and people in the acting community. I hear there might be a disco in the basement.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve long been mildly obsessed with specials like Liza With a Z, and I was recently watching the documentary Liza, which I greatly enjoyed. I wish that I was part of something like that, and at a place in my career as an actress and performer to have gotten to do a show like that, which at that time aired at, like, 8 p.m. on NBC. It\u2019s such an iconic piece of footage now, being directed by Bob Fosse, choreographed by Bob Fosse, and starring Liza Minnelli and all the amazing dancers on Broadway at that time. And having the guys who wrote Cabaret writing specialty material for you, like that song \u201cLiza With a Z.\u201d It\u2019s a period of time that doesn\u2019t really exist anymore, but I think I absolutely would have loved to have been a part of specials like that back in the day.<\/p>\n Drinking a glass of wine and eating gummies every night. How would I go about it? I don\u2019t think it\u2019s ever going to be a reality, so I haven\u2019t thought about that.<\/p>\n My answer is pretty site-specific right now, but I feel like it would be Cole Escola\u2019s, because I\u2019m working on Oh Mary! I think it would be incredible to go through the process of how they came about creating Oh Mary! from the beginning. I\u2019ve been a fangirl from the start. I\u2019ve seen all the Marys. I mean, to start with the seed of \u201cWhat if Mary Todd\u2019s Lincoln\u2019s life got better once Abe Lincoln was assassinated?\u201d is just a hilarious premise, and I\u2019m always so interested in people who can write such great comedy.<\/p>\n I\u2019ve been very lucky to work with so many great people in that world. That was one of the great joys of getting to be on 30 Rock and spend so much time around Tina Fey, Meredith Scardino, and Robert Carlock and all of our incredible writers. You could see them just throwing the jokes back and forth and creating. I find that fascinating. I love learning and being around that.<\/p>\n I\u2019m going to go with drinking a glass of wine and eating my gummies at night. It\u2019s the rule of threes. It\u2019s comedy. Now it\u2019s over.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t think it\u2019s really jealousy, but I am thrilled to have the opportunity to see my child grow and\u00a0who they become. I\u2019m a mom of a 14-year-old, and it just feels like the start of everything they\u2019re interested in. They\u2019re a musician and into performing in their own genre \u2014\u00a0nothing that has to do with mine. And so it\u2019s not really jealousy, but I hope I have enough time here to see what they do.<\/p>\n In real life, my actual hair has just been blonde. I was natural blonde at birth, then sun-in blonde in my mid-teens, bottle blonde in my early 20s, and now highlighted blonde. But in roles, I\u2019ve gotten to have wigs and wear other hair colors, which is always kind of fun. I\u2019ve been brown, I\u2019ve been black, I\u2019ve been red, and then many other kinds of blondes when they just want it to look better than my real hair.<\/p>\n Probably the top three are London, Rome, and Paris. It would definitely have to be a major city. I\u2019ve spent a lot of time in London. I love it and I could live there any day. I\u2019ve never tried living in Rome or Paris, but I think I would absolutely love it.<\/p>\n That frogs can be great boyfriends. Take that, Miss Piggy. Yes, the feud continues. Take note, Ryan Murphy. Sorry, I\u2019m just on a Miss Piggy binge right now.<\/p>\n This morning, I had a cup of coffee and a Bays English Muffin, which is not my normal, but is in the vein of my normal. I always have a cup of coffee with something like a small bite of cake. I don\u2019t put sweetener in it, but I like it with a bite of something sweet. I love Bays English Muffins. I grew up in New Jersey, and for some reason, I was a Thomas\u2019 English Muffin kind of girl. And then, when I did 30 Rock, Elaine Stritch was married to the man who owned Bays, so she used to give them out at Christmas, and that\u2019s when I first learned about them. So now I\u2019m a total Bays English Muffin gal.<\/p>\n I don\u2019t know why, but I find it really hilarious when something goes wrong. We\u2019re at the time where the whole Broadway community is collecting money for Broadway Cares, and so every show has someone giving curtain speeches, and it\u2019s me for Oh, Mary! The other day at the show, Broadway Cares actually came to video it, and I knew they were there, and I screwed it up so royally. Then I went on another whole tangent of a mistake. It\u2019s not funny here, but I laughed all night long. I was, literally an hour later, putting my key in the door of my house and still laughing at how badly it went. They have to come back and re-record. It was not usable! It just kept domino-ing and getting worse and worse. I do think we made a record amount of money that night in contributions, though. Maybe people felt bad for me that day. Also, a week ago, my cabaret outfit burst open. The zipper broke, and being the old hoofer that I am, I didn\u2019t go off and try to fix it. I just did the entire number with my dress fully open.<\/p>\n Unkindness and people being ungenerous.<\/p>\n Honesty, trust, and kindness. I\u2019m a Libra. Those things are of high value to me.<\/p>\n The opposite of those.<\/p>\n A whole lot. I didn\u2019t do a math analysis of the number, but a lot. I\u2019d like to ride out my time traveling and staying in very nice hotel rooms. I could give up the Porsches, but one of my favorite things is staying in really, really nice hotels.<\/p>\n Uber Eats. I live in New York, and the scariest thing to me about New York right now is the electric bikes. They\u2019re never on the path, and they\u2019re never following the rules of the lights. I\u2019m going to be run over by an electric bike, and that\u2019s why I think that Uber Eats is going to kill me.<\/p>\n I recently \u2014 maybe a month ago \u2014 got hit by a pedal bike. It was literally like a scene in a movie. I was out getting stuff done, it was a gorgeous fall day, and I crossed the street, and one of these bikes was coming by \u2014 not following the light pattern or the walk signs \u2014 and I was completely thrown into the middle of the road. I didn\u2019t have to get medical attention, but I was stunned, and I did call for someone I know to come help me. And this lovely woman who worked at the restaurant Lure came out and helped me, which was very nice, because I was shaken. I\u2019d never been run over by a bike before. And I hope never again until my death.<\/p>\n