\n Welcome to This Week in Our Dumb Beautiful Sport, a weekly look at the chaos that reigns over the most perfectly imperfect world of college football. <\/p>\n
\n\tThere are too many teams for not enough playoff spots and not enough coaching candidates for too many openings. Our dumb, beautiful sport is as chaotic as ever.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n
\tWHO’S GETTING LEFT OUT?<\/p>\n
\n\tIt feels fair to assume that the following playoff spots are locked up no matter what: No. 1 Ohio State, No. 2 Indiana, No. 3 Texas A&M, No. 4 Georgia, No. 5 Texas Tech, No. 6 Oregon, No. 7 Ole Miss, and No. 8 Oklahoma. There will also be two more conference championship spots. One will almost certainly go to whoever wins the American (North Texas or Tulane) and the other will go to Virginia if it wins the ACC and either James Madison or 7-5 Duke if the Blue Devils beat Virginia. BYU could also take away an at-large bid by beating Texas Tech in the Big 12 Championship and converting the Red Raiders’ spot from a conference champion to at-large selection.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n
\n\tThat means there are at most two spots left for the following teams: No. 9 Notre Dame, No. 10. Alabama, No. 11 BYU, No. 12 Miami (Fla.), No. 13 Utah, No. 14 Vanderbilt, and No. 16 Texas. I assume that those will go to Notre Dame and Alabama barring something crazy, especially since the closest team to them doesn’t really factor into the equation: BYU will either automatically qualify or take another loss.\u00a0With that being said, I think the committee has gotten it wrong — with an assist from the weekly rankings, which do far more harm than good and seem to prevent the committee from being flexible and making changes even as we learn more about teams throughout the season.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n
\n\tFor example, there’s no justifiable reason to rank Notre Dame ahead of Miami. Notre Dame has slightly “better” losses, but one of them is to the Hurricanes! Also, Notre Dame’s best win is a soft 9-3 USC team. I don’t think it’s crazy to say that there’s probably at least 30 teams that also could have gone 10-2 against that schedule. Is this what we want to reward? Playing a schedule almost entirely composed of bottom feeder Power Four teams? Losing to the only two good teams you played? It’s a no for me.\n<\/p>\n
\n\tAlabama and Oklahoma look pretty mediocre to me, as well, but they do have some good wins that will likely save them. I think it would have been a better and more interesting playoff if both had lost on Saturday, and they probably both would have if they weren’t each\u00a0playing a terrible team an\u00a0with interim head coach. Instead, Alabama gets an SEC Championship shot thanks to the fact that its heinous loss to Florida State was out of conference.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n
\n\tI’ve accepted the fact that Texas will be left out, because there’s only so many spots for so many teams, but I think two arguments in support of\u00a0the Longhorns\u00a0are extremely valid. First, there is simply no question that they would be in if they had scheduled Akron instead of Ohio State. Again, is this what we want? It’s objectively insane to design a system that favors a win against a MAC team over a\u00a014-7 road loss to the undefeated No. 1 team in the country. (Just to distinguish this from what I just said about Notre Dame — Texas’ resume isn’t\u00a0exclusively\u00a0close losses. They also have very good wins. Notre Dame does not. They lost to the only two competent teams they played.)\n<\/p>\n
\n\tTexas shouldn’t have lost to Florida. Obviously. But — and here’s the second argument I agree with — last year’s national runner-up got\u00a0into the playoff despite losing at home to Northern Illinois. Texas has wins against Oklahoma, Vanderbilt, and Texas A&M, and I prefer to reward wins against good teams more than punishing losses to bad teams. I said the same thing whenever Ohio State lost to Iowa in 2017 or Purdue in 2018.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n
\n\tWith all that being said, let me know in the comments which two at-large teams\u00a0you think should round out the CFP field (assuming BYU doesn’t steal a spot by beating Texas Tech).\u00a0\n<\/p>\n
\tGOLD PANTS ARE BACK<\/p>\n
\n\tOhio State suffocated Michigan in a 27-9 win on Saturday, a cathartic win that restored order to the rivalry after four straight Michigan wins. The highlight — at least to me — was a 20-play drive that ate nearly 12 minutes of clock. Despite ending in a field goal, it reminded me a lot of the way\u00a0those early 2010s Alabama teams used to break the will of their opponents in the second half by running it down their throats.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n
\n\tBuckeyes coach Ryan Day somehow resisted the urge to cut a WWE-style promo in the postgame press conference and took the high road<\/a>, which is a real shame. I was dying for a Michigan version of “I’d like to know where Lou Holtz is right now.”\n<\/p>\n \n\t\tSaw it after the whistles and saw it after the clock hit zeroes Michigan wanted a fight today.<\/p>\n Props to the better program for not giving it to them.<\/p>\n pic.twitter.com\/EQl927A6F4<\/a>\n\t<\/p>\n \t\u2014 Matt Edwards (@MattEdwards) November 29, 2025<\/a><\/p>\n \n\tSpeaking of Michigan… what exactly was the plan? As best I can tell, it was to spend four quarters playing more physical after the whistle than during the actual plays in some sort of misguided hope that they could bait Ohio State players into ejections. Instead: three field goals, no touchdowns, zero second-half points, and -1 offensive yard\u00a0in the fourth quarter.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \tLANE KIFFIN OFFICIALLY LEAVES FOR LSU\u00a0<\/p>\n \n\tLane Kiffin’s standoff with Ole Miss is over, culminating with Kiffin leaving Oxford prior to the College Football Playoff<\/a> to become LSU’s next head coach.\u00a0I made my position clear in last week’s DBS<\/a>, so I’ll try not to rehash it too much, but it really feels like all parties could have done better. I think it’s objectively insane\u00a0to leave when you’re likely to host a playoff game and have a legitimate shot at a deep playoff run.\u00a0I also think Ole Miss should have ended this 10 days ago and told Kiffin to hit the bricks in order to give itself a shot at hiring a better coach instead of circling the wagons and promoting\u00a0a coordinator from within (which almost never works — it’s how you end up stuck with Sherrone Moore). LSU should also ask itself how it’s going to feel if Kiffin eventually does the same thing to them that he did to Tennessee and Ole Miss.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \n\tAll that being said, it’s wild to see the\u00a0double standard from national columnists who are giving a pass to Jon Sumrall and Eric Morris while taking their pound of flesh from Kiffin. The only difference between what Kiffin did and what those two coaches did is the response of the schools they worked for. All three asked to coach in the playoff after taking better jobs. Two schools said yes, one said no. If you ask me, all three should have said no. You can say there’s a difference between leaving a G5 school for a P5 school and leaving one SEC school for another. As ESPN writer David Hale noted, would be right, just not in the way you think. Sumrall and Morris are going to spend the next week or two trying to recruit half their roster to join them in Gainesville and Stillwater, but unlike Ole Miss their former team\u00a0won’t have the resources to recover as quickly.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \n\t\tId argue its worse for Tulane\/UNT. Theyre less able to retain their own players if their former coach wants them to follow. Ole Miss is resourced enough to pay players, dedicate staff to recruiting, etc. Loss of HC is a much bigger blow for a team outside P4.\n\t<\/p>\n \t\u2014 (@ADavidHaleJoint) November 30, 2025<\/a><\/p>\n \tWHAT A DIFFERENCE A YEAR MAKES<\/p>\n \n\tEleven and a half months ago Tennessee fans\u00a0were convinced that they were about to embarrass Ohio State and an embattled Ryan Day in Ohio Stadium. Since then, they lost that game 42-17, their quarterback left for UCLA after his\u00a0extortion attempt\u00a0hilariously backfired, and they will not be back in the playoff after an 8-4 regular season that ended with them getting run off the field by Vanderbilt and its 37-year-old quarterback Diego Pavia.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \n\t\tSEDDY AGAIN!!!! pic.twitter.com\/HKvCxQ4nzt<\/a>\n\t<\/p>\n \t\u2014 #14 Vanderbilt Football (@VandyFootball) November 29, 2025<\/a><\/p>\n \n\tRyan Day, on the other hand, has not lost a football game in that same time span.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \tCOACHING CAROUSEL UPDATES<\/p>\n \n\tHere’s the latest on the college football’s hirings and firings:\n<\/p>\n \t\tAuburn is hiring South Florida coach Alex Golesh<\/a>, who was born in the Soviet Union but grew up in Dublin, Ohio, and went to Ohio State.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\tArkansas, who previously appeared likely to hire Golesh, pivoted to Memphis coach Ryan Silverfield<\/a>.<\/p>\n \t\tFlorida is hiring Tulane coach Jon Sumrall<\/a>, who will still coach the Green Wave in the AAC Championship Game and the College Football Playoff (if Tulane makes it).\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\tOle Miss hired defensive coordinator Pete Golding<\/a>, betting that continuity would help retain its staff, players and recruits following Lane Kiffin’s departure.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\tMichigan fired Jonathan Smith<\/a> and is reportedly replacing him with Pat Fitzgerald<\/a>. Hard to picture him in green and white, but it feels like a fit for them to have a coach who doesn’t try to adapt to the 21st century.<\/p>\n \t\tKentucky is reportedly planning to fire Mark Stoops<\/a>. It will be interesting to see what coach they believe will make this\u00a0worth it, because they’ll owe Stoops all $38 million of his buyout within 60 days.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\tStanford hired Washington Commanders quarterbacks coach and former Cardinal QB Tavita Pritchard as its new head coach<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n \t\tOregon State hired Alabama co-offensive coordinator JaMarcus Shephard<\/a>.\u00a0<\/p>\n \tRIVALRY WEEK TROLLING<\/p>\n \n\tHere are some of the best and wildest moments from rivalry week.\n<\/p>\n \n\tIn the final seconds of its 27-17 win, Texas played a video of Texas A&M coach Mike Elko calling A&M the flagship university of the state.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \n\t\tTexas just put an exclamation point on the win against Texas A&M with the ultimate fired shot!!! pic.twitter.com\/iAzb9KaGpT<\/a>\n\t<\/p>\n \t\u2014 Anwar Richardson (@AnwarRichardson) November 29, 2025<\/a><\/p>\n \n\tBrutus Buckeye crossed out the M in the end zone and wrote script Ohio into the snow-covered field.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \n\t\tThat @Brutus_Buckeye<\/a> is one naughty ascot<\/p>\n : FOX pic.twitter.com\/RgJbkDIF7O<\/a>\n\t<\/p>\n \t\u2014 Big Ten Network (@BigTenNetwork) November 29, 2025<\/a><\/p>\n \n\tLane Kiffin confronted an Ole Miss beat writer who quoted some interesting lyrics on a podcast earlier in the week.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \n\t\tLane Kiffin confronts Ole Miss reporter after Reporter @SpiritBen<\/a> said earlier in week: Cant turn a hoe into a housewife. Hoes dont act right pic.twitter.com\/px2nwWdHLf<\/a>\n\t<\/p>\n \t\u2014 Trey Wallace (@TreyWallace_) November 28, 2025<\/a><\/p>\n \tHAWAII KICKER TIES RECORD BEFORE MISS<\/p>\n \n\tOne of the best — and wildest — stories of the year is Hawaii kicker Kansei Matsuzawa, a native of Japan who taught himself how to kick field goals from watching YouTube videos. Matsuzawa made his first 25 field goal attempts of the season, tying an FBS record for the most consecutive field goals to start a season. Just as improbably, his first miss of the season came on a 30-yard field goal that would have broken the record.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \n\tRegardless, it’s still an amazing story and Matsuzawa is a Lou Groza Award finalist.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \n\t\tAn emotional Kansei Matsuzawa thanks his supporters. The #HawaiiFB<\/a> kicker is a Lou Groza Award finalist. The winner will be announced Dec. 12. He finished 25\/26 in field goals and 37\/37 on extra points. pic.twitter.com\/H0dvA0NCYe<\/a>\n\t<\/p>\n \t\u2014 Christian Shimabuku (@c_shimabuku) November 30, 2025<\/a><\/p>\n \tNO. 1 VS. NO. 2 AWAITS<\/p>\n \n\tI can’t believe this sentence is real, but undefeated No. 1 Ohio State is set to face undefeated No. 2 Indiana in the Big Ten Championship Game. The teams didn’t play in the regular season but shared five common opponents, with the Hoosiers having a better margin of victory against Illinois, Purdue, and UCLA and the Buckeyes winning by more against Penn State and Wisconsin.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \n\t“It’s been a long time since we’ve been to Indy and we want to win this thing,” Ohio State coach Ryan Day said<\/a>.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \n\tGiven that voters have started treating the Heisman Trophy more like the Best Performance In A Conference Championship Game By A Quarterback Award, it’s also worth noting that this game will matchup two Heisman contenders in Buckeyes quarterback Julian Sayin and Hoosiers quarterback Fernando Mendoza.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \n\tLastly, it’s hard to imagine this happening because the CFP committee has never consistently\u00a0demonstrated critical thinking skills, but I would argue that unless it’s an especially bad blowout loss the loser of this game shouldn’t fall below the No. 2 seed. Ohio State has a great case to remain above Georgia (assuming the Bulldogs beat Alabama) even with a loss, and I’d argue the Hoosiers do as well. If you believe Ohio State is the No. 1 team in the country, the No. 2 team should lose to the No. 1 team when they play. Hard to argue that’s worthy\u00a0of getting moved down unless something especially humiliating is involved, especially since everyone below them already has a loss.\n<\/p>\n \tWHAT A COMEBACK<\/p>\n \n\t\tJOSHHH PITSENBERGERR TO THE MOON!<\/p>\n Yale 43, YSU 42 | 4th, 2:48 pic.twitter.com\/Y3StwgpaNq<\/a>\n\t<\/p>\n \t\u2014 Yale Football (@yalefootball) November 29, 2025<\/a><\/p>\n \n\tThe Ivy League allowed teams to compete in the FCS playoffs for the first time ever this year, and it did not get off to a great start with conference champion Yale down 35-7 to Youngstown State at halftime. However, Yale scored 36 second-half points to cap a wild comeback and beat the Penguins 43-42<\/a>.\n<\/p>\n \n\tTheir reward? A trip to Bozeman to face No. 2 seed Montana State in the round of 16.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \tPLAY OF THE WEEK<\/p>\n DOES IT AGAIN! @isaiahhorton14<\/a><\/p>\n : ABC pic.twitter.com\/iTnqz6Q0WM<\/a><\/p>\n \u2014 Alabama Football (@AlabamaFTBL) November 30, 2025<\/a><\/p>\n \n\tTied 20-20 with Auburn with less than four minutes remaining, Alabama faced fourth-and-2 from the Auburn 6-yard line. Rather than kick the field goal, Crimson Tide coach Kalen DeBoer kept his offense out there. It paid off when wide receiver Isaiah Horton caught his third touchdown of the game, which ended up being\u00a0the game winner.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \tIDIOT OF THE WEEK<\/p>\n \n\tThis week’s winner is every college coach who begged for an early signing period so that they could get players on campus earlier and have two months less of recruiting seniors, only to turn around and complain that the calendar they helped create is\u00a0ruining their ability to leave jobs without making a giant mess. It’s legitimately one of the worst things to happen to the sport in my lifetime. Not only did it ruin one of the most fun days of the year, the original National Signing Day in early February, but it also turned the coaching carousel insane and also led to a drastic increase in early enrollees, to the point where it’s basically a given that recruits\u00a0are going to give up their last semester of high school instead of being something reserved for select special circumstances.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \n\tSo yes, it should change. But the last people I want to hear about it from are the guys who are the reason it exists in the first place. You fished your wish, now be quiet and suffer the consequences until the adults in the room fix it.\u00a0\n<\/p>\n \tREF JAIL INMATE OF THE WEEK<\/p>\n \n\t\tAlmost headbutted the ref pic.twitter.com\/C5FhGAKkTx<\/a>\n\t<\/p>\n
You wanna walk in here and call me a hoe? Well see how it goes<\/p>\n